An open letter from Australia

Dear Mitch

We have always wished you the best, as we do for every man who dons the baggy green.  But enough is enough.

I was at the corner grocery store a few minutes ago and Iqbal, Tuyen, Stan and Afrodite agreed that it is high time you moved on.  Mitch, for the sake of the nation, burn those incriminating photographs and walk away.

Everyone from Lee R to Pauline H is in agreement and the people are angry.  There will be a candlelight vigil of at least two hundred people on the nature strip outside your house soon.  Scruffy backpackers are converging from all over India.

Please Mitch, before it’s too late, walk away.  Hold your head high.  Very few of us have played cricket for Australia.




About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. E.regnans says

    Well done Earl, Iqbal, Tuyen, Stan and Afrodite.
    Perhaps an appropriate injury can be conjured? Everyone gets to save face.
    A pulled groin?

  2. rabid dog says

    What do you mean Earl – he scored a very valuable 13 in the second dig.

  3. John Butler says

    Don’t blame Mitch. Blame Boof and his fellow selectors.

    They must be some juicy photos….

  4. Dave Brown says

    Mitch now holds the Australian men’s test record for most innings at No. 6 without a century (25) having recently overtaken David Hookes (23) and is fourth overall. He has a way to go to catch Gus Logie though (52). Perhaps its another record the Australian selectors are after…

  5. I feel for Mitch Marsh. He is totally unequipped to bat in the top 6 for Australia (particularly in Indian conditions), but keeps getting selected. That is not his fault.

  6. kath presdee says

    What if this gets handed to Mitch Starc by mistake?

    Since Mitch Marsh’s career seems to be “Stranger things have happened, but not much” this is very much a possibility.

  7. Peter Warrington says

    play him at 9 and bat and bat and bat. pick one seamer. go to the last test 1-1. it is going to seam there. etc etc


  8. E.regnans says

    alright then, shoulder.


  9. indeed. i want to see a medical certificate

  10. Earl O'Neill says

    Seems the letter was forwarded to the good Mitch…

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