Ammos (Adelaide): Scum take the flag.

Adelaide University Football Club

Division 8R



AUFC SCUM: 8.5.53

Ovingham: 3.6.24

By Ben “Bunny” Warren – SCUM Coach.

-The Adelaide University Football Club calls its supposedly “lowest” side “The SCUM”, we are very proud to tell everyone we play “SCUM” for the World’s Greatest Football Club.

September the 7th 2013 will go down as a great day for AUFC SCUM and one of the greatest days in my life. I know it also means a lot to the large AUFC contingency that were present and if the partying has anything to go by, a shitload to all of the players. It will be remembered fondly as the day that 25 blokes had the privilege of representing the greatest club on Earth and won the 1st SCUM Cup in 16 years! F YEAH! It’s still hard to write this as I get the jitters just thinking about it but here goes nothing.


After coaching 100s of players over 5 years, going 5th then 4th then 3rd then 2nd it felt natural that this day would come by attrition but my glass isn’t half empty, its never seen water! Being continually surrounded by club legends, retiring champions, star recruits, reluctant warriors, fantastic support staff, inspiring rookies, AFL champions, eternal optimists, intriguing weirdo’s, international students and forgiving hierarchy how could it go wrong? Well it didn’t and this angry Bunny aint so angry no more!


Where do we start? Well the SCUM didn’t put a foot wrong. They all arrived on time and ready. Which is remarkable as we had 3 key players who were integral to Labor’s chances in the federal election (Sorry Kevin). SCUM prepared and had more physios, strappers and support staff than Clive Palmer. There wasn’t a hiccup, until the first bounce. After the hundreds of emails circling around the SCUM all week, from dozens of club officials there was one reasonably important role not considered. A F$%^ing boundary umpire! Lucky one of the SCUM star recruits this year was Don-Keys, who is an actual SANFL boundary umpire. Don jumped to the task, got changed into his professional get up faster than Superman and adjudicated. My heart stopped and Rulei sedated me, thanks again CLINT.


When the game did get started, Ovvies got the jump, as per usual and scored the opener. I must admit, it didn’t worry me in the slightest (TOTAL LIE) as SCUM always play rope a dope early. Anyway, then a bloke called Howie stepped in. He kicked a few, he played alright, he was fricking awesome! The rest followed his lead. We didn’t turn back, we dominated them and got out to a lead.


The rest of the first half is a blur. All played well, seriously they did! The back six were intensely suffocating, the middle just arched their backs and won all of the central contests and the forward line kept their space open and pounced at every opportunity. It was a poetic SCUM.


The only dampeners on the day happened in the 3rd term when Moly got knocked out and then Jake Harry did his knee, which sucked! Ovingham tried to rally and gave it one big last effort, both through attempted football skills and sideline abuse. We had them covered. They weren’t prepared for the chairman, Doz and co to work even harder. The tackling and smothers were divine. No inch was given. No time was given and they had no space. Sublime. Perfect SCUM!


The fourth was pure passion. Ovingham got nothing. Personified by Doz running 100m to spoil through a point in the dying minutes. Then Howie iced the cake with a long goal and fat lady was singing her lungs out! It was an honor to be there. This SCUM group has been such a pleasure to be involved with. It was so hard to not play some of the guys who missed out. The guys who did play, did there all in respect of you. In fact I knew we had it done when Nick Spencer came on and literally picked up an Army Reservist dude and smashed him into the ground! It was brutal! Nuts tackle Spence!


I could go through everyone’s highlights; we have talked about it heaps over a gut load of piss. Everyone played a part. No passengers, no shoulda, coulda, wouldas! No complaints. I couldn’t be more proud. The best SCUM performance I have witnessed.





Howie kicked 4. One more then Ovingham

The Dictator kicked one!

Lawry Lawrence kicked another!

Tofe kicked a cracker!

Chimp finished off a great year with one more!


Best Players:


Jake Harry was awesome until…

Darragh Coughlan AKA Darren Collins was supreme in the back pocket.

Doz was everywhere.

Tofe just did what Tofe does best. Hard ball gets.

The Chairman Bridgwood tackled everything.


Best man on the ground winning the car!


Homemaker Howie

No superlatives will describe his game. If any its ‘Dominant’.














  1. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Fantastic Match Report Bunny rapt 4 you and every 1 who has been through a lo of heartache Loved when you and Past Scum Coach Dimma Dimma Dimarzo embraced in the Last Quarter ii summed up the day perfectly
    While Club Legend Chocka Bloch says you owe us all a Keg I reckon Good Scum
    Well Done Black Men May Bob Neil be with you all !

  2. Good scum!
    A champion team.
    Well done, Bunny!

  3. Michelangelo Rucci says

    Congratulations. U can now be top-up players for the Crows

  4. Just bloody Fantastic!

    I Love the SCUM – it brings a tear to my eye – and that from one of the “hard men” of Ammo Footy ;-)

  5. Only bright spot on a very dark weekend. Well done bunny.

  6. We don’t play for admiration,
    we don’t play for victory.
    We just play for recreation,
    dirty filthy scum are we

    etc, etc…

    I’m not sure if letting the Scum win premierships is allowed in the AUFC constitution but congrats anyway.

  7. Well done you Scum! Definitely agree with Chocka about the keg – how can you not, Chocka makes the bloody rules! Worthy reward for those blokes still going around from when I was getting injured and running laps of Bob Neil No 2. Here’s to you, Rulei, Howie and all Scum of 2013.

  8. Bad SCUM!

  9. I thought this thread was about Fremantle. One flag for The Scum is enough for the year. Congrats.

  10. Brought a tear to my eye remembering back to when I played in 2 successive losing Scum GFs in the late 80s with George Fraser, Ra Ra McGrath, Mike O’Neill, Steve Crowley, Donga Thompson, Gavin ‘ain’t Fairbrother, Andrew Rotten Moulds, Mike Abel, Marcus down as a Sweet man, Phil Sweet, Jim Davis, Greg Davis, Bruce ShagBag Griffiths, Lips Leunig, John Hi Priest, Andrew McCleod 9, Craig Glynis Munn, … Both years finishing top comfortably. Congrats on honouring the SCUM legend … I too think that forces were plotting against us from within because of the rule HandBag referred to … So thanks for defying the odds :)

  11. Great work Bunny and the SCUM. Agree with Mase that it was the only footy highlight of last weekend!!
    Back to back in 2014?

  12. The Scum. A Flag. I thought this was not allowed. The Chairman should address this immediately. Bunny should be run out of the club and given a lifetime ban from drinking Stone’s, and hell, West End while we are at it. A keg is not compensation enough, a keg per team at least!

  13. Thanks for the comments. A great way to retire. As a kid, I vividly remember being around the club in the 80s and 90s watching the whole SCUM ethos being built. Watching Chocka at the Dover Castle doing Bowlies, sitting in the back seat of a VW beetle with my brother driving his Chardonnay Socialists to the deep northern suburbs to play Pines, Cedars, etc. Its a great club and a gigantic culture. What makes me most proud of this achievement is that this flag consolidates my part in its history. I am honoured to know that I won a flag with the Blacks and the best one of all…A SCUM FLAG! I am certain that I will have to buy a keg but its worth every cent!

  14. Darren Graetz says

    Great report Bunny. Congratulations to all the Scum boys.

  15. well done Bunny and SCUM. I just hope Dimma didnt try to slip the tongue in during those final quarter celebrations that Rule Book referred to…

  16. Great report Bunny.
    What a day, “all played well” sums it up perfectly.
    Highlights for me were the Spiritual Leader taking an ice bath post game in the Chimps pool, Mrs Chairman having to provide an explaination to her children about the naked Chimp walking down the driveway mid afternoon and on field the Agitator Tofan getting cart wheeled with the biggest hits of the day only to have to get up and then get cleaned up again when the ball rebounded to him after the Ovies player turned it over.
    I was both concerned and amused at the same time -is that possible?
    Go Blacks, Go SCUM

  17. in a true testament to old school footy values it was great to see ‘howie’ not only get himself on to the park but to also dominate the game despite recurring and career threatening injuries including; calf strain, back ache, achilles soreness, torn hamstring, corked buttock, heart murmurs, sleep apnea, hemorrhoids, 2 x shoulder / ac joints (happened when he was 14), bone-on-bone knees, cracked ribs and now carrying a very swollen (read big) head.

  18. I eat shit for breakfast

  19. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Premierships are special at any level rapt to see the joy on the face of
    Craig THE SPIRITUAL LEADER Evans The Illustrious Team Manager of THE SCUM
    The Elation on his face as he led THE EVOLUTION during Sat Afternoon was a joy to behold
    Go Evo Go Sum Go The Worlds Greatest Football Club

  20. The Real Chewy says

    What a marvelous day, with a great bunch of blokes. In true Scum fashion, we really did start the year off quite slow, but once we started to wake up, boy, did we wake up. What a run home. Well done to all the Scummers, except for one Alex “I’ve been stabbed!!” Martinson (who actually played really poorly in the game, and in my opinion doesn’t deserve a medal). It was great playing with all of you, and I look forward to our premiership reunions in the years to come.

  21. Booyaaa SCUM!!!!!!

  22. Go scum! Pretty easy win really, no sweat, had it in the bag by quarter time!

  23. Go scum, what a win! The weather was perfect for a great game between the Black Pond Scum and Ovingham. Enjoyed every minute. It reminds me why the AUFC is the greatest football club on earth!!!

  24. Darren Collins says

    Great win for our lads. Thanks to bunjemin and EVO who were with us all year. A guy who I thought went under the radar was Chewy Burton the ruck man who left everything on the field. BEASTS everyone of you!!!!!!

  25. Great article – bad scum, bad scum…

  26. North haven fc says

    I’m sick of this cyber chewy guy

  27. Good work scum, started from the bottom now I’m top. Stay there

  28. We are the scum the greatest team of all. We are the scum were always on the ball. Paul Lewis premiership player #118

  29. Green Machine says

    What an effort, what a day, what a team, what a win!!

    Scum forever!!!!!!

  30. Bunny…congrats to you and all the Scumboys on a well-deserved GF win! It was also an immense pleasure to read this match report; brought back a lot of great Scumball memories. :)

  31. No mention of Slippery Simey? Palsy Paul??

    (Bad Scum)

  32. Slippery Simey…HAHA! Love it!
    Mr Lewis was one of the back 6 Turtle neck Skivvies that suffocated the bejesus out of them. The back 6 were so tight that they were the first to either wake up or arrive at Sunday morning drinks!
    Darren Collins AKA Darragh Coughlan
    Rob ‘Octopus’ Mally
    Palsy/Slippery Simey Lewis
    The Chairman
    Bitumen Fitch
    Green Machine

    All arrived within 5 minutes of each other from unknown locations.

    Then the cameo backs:

    Blonde Rwandan

    All were the next to arrive.

    A Drinking Goliath of a Defence.

  33. Elliot Hewish says

    Great day for AAFC and the mighty SCUM!!!

    Great write up bunny summed it perfectly! Made me remember a lot of individual efforts that were second to none!

    Gave me goosebumps.

    Awesome job look forward to the stories on Sunday, super Sunday!

  34. This SCUM team and its management reminded me of the recent St Kilda teams under Ross Lyon: superbly coached, brilliantly managed, finely-drilled, highly disciplined, insanely fit; a miserly defence, a mid-field that can run all day, and a forward line capable of really hurting the opposition on the counter-attack. Outstanding effort Bunny, Evo & SCUM, and a fine report Bunny – the tears of joy fairly rebound off the page. Go the Blacks.

  35. Shane Gladigau says

    I think a premiership goes against everything the SCUM stood for??? But well done to the lads anyway!

    Carn the Blacks!

  36. Well done Bunny, Evo & SCUM and all involved in this famous victory. Sole AUFC grand finalists & premiers is a large cross to carry over the off season but Im sure copious intake of West End and GGW will help. Glad I was there to witness it all!

  37. It’s a bloody disgrace!!!

  38. Stephen "Arfa" Daly says

    Well done Scum. Always nice to hear old blokes who should be broken by now leading the way for the youngsters higher up the grades. By my reckoning, Howie has won a flag about every 3 years on average. What a legend! I remember the last Scum premiership being the day we won a Chardonnays flag too- against the Rovinghams (does Bennett still play?) I also remember Chocka once saying: “the Scum shall rise- but never so far as to embarrass the other teams!”
    Well done everyone!

  39. Excellent summary Bunny. I was VERY glad to hear the result last week, as I was busy with another football commitment. Just make sure that next year the SCUM do the right thing and finish in their traditional position, second.
    Also great to see posts from so many legends of SCUM past.

  40. Colin Bankes says

    Good Scum. Great write up Bunny, love the passion. Greatest Scum side ever?

  41. Bad scum! Congrats bunny, Howies sealer brought the house down!

  42. Great win for the Scum! Huge weekend as well! Just looking forward to backing it up at Super Sunday!!

  43. Hi Top Baker says

    Geez you have got to love Ad Uni FC when a sides supposed role in the club is to lose to make every 1 else feel better about there own inadequacies amazing that the side hasn’t been taken over by a Indian bookmaker well I say as a ex Scum Coach
    Chocka Get Stuffed ! Well Done Bunny and the Mighty Scum !
    And Young Fella Adrian Howard you have got a future in this game if you stick at it
    SCUM PREMIERS 2013 music to my ears

  44. Well done Bunny, a richly deserved win for both you and the team. Special mention to Mr Chairman, dual SCUM flags 16 years apart!

  45. Rotten Moulds says

    Superb Scum!

    After attending the Semi final with Alan Never Braggs I was amazed by the level of professionalism and organization in this team, they even had an interchange!

    Goes to show talent beats tatts any day.

    Good to know the legacy is in good hands.

  46. Congratulations Boys!!!

    A Blacks flag, how very special.

    Bobby Neil, Sammy Bridgey! Club legends!!

    Bridgey thought the after match celebration was great. He learnt the name of three of his team mates!!

    Enjoy the reunions that will follow!!

    Chap #4

  47. Bunny, Evo and Scum, again, congratulations on a cracking season. You went that one step further than we managed in 2000, 2001, 2004 and 2006 (our rightful second place as Rabs correctly pointed out) and 2012. In 1999 we finished third and announced that we had a “2 year plan” to win a flag. We celebrated our Prelim final wins like they were premierships (maybe that was part of the problem?) We had so much fun and some great people (not just great players) came in and out of the side over the years. I enjoyed being a small part of it – thanks for that. All the posts above tell us a few things:

    Scum flags don’t happen very often – you pulled off the ultimate heist.

    This is the world’s greatest football club – (just look at how many people pop up to comment on this).

    What Chocka says goes – even well after his retirement

    The Blacks’ celebrations are usually more entertaining than their games and about as much focus is placed on them.

    PS Great to see the 168 guersney out there, although it got more touches than I did for my entire career and doesn’t look as good with baggy shorts.

  48. Having watched on in open-mouthed horror at the Scum’s heart-breaking finals losses of yore, I was very disappointed that I couldn’t be there on the big day and bear witness to the magic.

    As gleeful as the news of the Scummiership made me, it also prompted worrisome thoughts. Perhaps my presence was the unlucky charm that had condemned the Scum to defeat on all those other occasions? Dimma, and Bunny, I am truly sorry.

    I henceforth resolved never to darken the Scum fields of play with my presence ever again, lest I be the talisman that brings about loss.

    Other than in minor round games, when the curse is to be used for the power of good, by ensuring a well-behaved Scum.

  49. Interesting conclusion to draw, Tom, although one Graham “Shaggy” Burton was also absent on the day (and has been at all other losses) so the evidence is not conclusive. My money’s with Shaggy, although if you truly were the curse, then your apology is accepted. (up until now I thought it was Boz’s fault).

  50. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Gentlemen as the Great Man Chocka States if anything bad happens at Ad Uni FC it is automatically BOZs FAULT if anything Good happens it is caused by BOB NEIL either by being present personally or of a spiritual nature end of story .
    No Furthur Correspondence Will be entered in to
    The Worlds Greatest Football Club

  51. Isaac Hinton says

    Bad work SCUM. Wish I would have been there. Not necessarily for the game itself but to witness the destruction of property and individuals at the after match celebrations.

    Sam Bridgwood losing his dignity in front of his kids would have been the tip of the iceburg….

    Well done to all.
    Juice #127

  52. Screecher075 says

    Bad SCUM, bad!!!
    Seriously though, it was great to see a great bunch of guys led by a greet coach take down an A grade team when they are the seventh team at the club!!!
    Bob Neil would be proud of them, even more so if they had worn grey shorts on the day!!!

  53. I agree with Chockabloch…what a disgrace, the fact that they have won a game is a disgrace…the fact they have won a flag is a war crime….
    anyway, well done Scum…loyalty has paid off….

  54. Nick Raschella says

    If Essendon are allowed to take supplements the Scum are allowed to win flags.

    Well done to the mighty scum. Last time the sum won a flag in September was still driving around..

    The world has chanced a bit in between time.

  55. Bad scum, no biscuit.

  56. Great win. Congratulations Love Stuie aka Snoozin

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