Almanac Sport: The 2017 Kids’ Party Cup

Greetings Tipsters.

Perky Girl, Chappy the Super Terrier and I hosted a party last Sunday week for the kids of our friends. There was Louis, the twins Ben and Olivia, sisters Layla and Indie. Layla’s seven and a half, the others pushing five and now at school. I wanted to see them again before socialisation took effect.

I’ve known the parents for at least eleven and as much as thirty years and they’re all good folks. We set up a gazebo in the backyard, laid on food and drink, plates were brought, the hose came out after a little while, then the water-spraying hopscotch mat, is there any better sound than the joyous shrieks of four year olds in high summer? “Awesome!” yelled Olivia as she ran under the hose, and indeed it was.

I popped out for pear cider and upon returning found all the kids in the loungeroom. Ben and Louis were absorbed in getting the stereo happening, the CD drawer had jammed, they’d plugged in an mp3 player, Olivia and Indie were on the couch looking at anthologies of early seventies underground comix, Layla waylaid me with a stack of books.

“Are these suitable for children?”

The anthology of James Lee Burke’s first four novels, probably not. Kenneth Clark’s ‘Civilisation’, definitely yes. ‘Generation Kill’…

“It’s about war, isn’t it?” I nodded agreement then hauled out a few more art books which probably went unseen cos the kids were running around the backyard a few minutes later.

That afternoon was the high point of summer, tho I did a fone int w Andrew Innes of Primal Scream this morn, that was neat. He has a beautiful Glaswegian lilt but 37 years of living in London and touring the world has softened it such that it only took a sentence or two for me to get used to it. I once shared a house with a bloke recently arrived from Glasgow and it took three months to fully understand him.

I had a rare Saturday off work in November and set myself for cricket in the loungeroom, radio for sound, teev for pictures, enjoyed the best day of play in the whole series. Funny how things work out, a wicket taken, a wicket missed, may have changed the complexion of the series.

I love the rhythms of Test cricket, I love it on the radio but I wonder how much of that is due to Jim Maxwell. He conducts the orchestra of commentators, will it be the same when he retires?

Onward, folks, we’ve the DAFL, ZAFL, GAFL. Crikey, Aragorn has been busy. That’s life when you’re a scion of the rural gentry, handsome, sharp, well spoken, well connected. Or so you’d think.

Seems to be a distinct lack of PR for the DAFL. I don’t really watch teev, but my rare forays should have revealed something. The official AFL website isn’t doing much, too busy with ‘Bucks answers fans questions’ and the like. Caught a few player profiles on Zuckerbook, all w a ‘Fun Fact’ like ‘she works for the water board.’

Jehovah’s bloody witness, is that the best the most wealthy and powerful sporting organisation in the country can come up with?! Crikey, it almost seems like “yeah, we threw the chicks a bone, now let’s get on with it.”

Holy crap. Forty eight years since Germaine Greer, one of my alltime favourite Australians, published ‘The Female Eunuch’ and the most publicity I’ve seen is Moana Hope’s face on the side of a bus endorsing breakfast cereal.

The AFL – and I despise the fact that Australian Football, Aussie Rules, aerial ping-pong is now known by the organisational acronym, just as Rugby League is now commonly spoke of as NRL – has put together some brilliant advertising over the years. They now have Erin, Sabrina, Daisy, masses of footage, skilled editors…

Andrew told me that Primal Scream have to tour cos there’s no money in record sales, that it takes 6,000,000 monthly Spotify views to generate an average wage. So, Aragorn, if you’ve the wit – we know you’ve some nous – get ‘Moving On Up’, ‘Rocks Off’, ‘Country Girl’ take me to the promised land, and show those vid editors some of the best NFL vids and tell ‘em that you want better than the best and they’ve got 24 hours and drop some hotshit speed on the desk on yr way out.

Beautiful women playing football. Surely that must be the greatest advertising concept in the history of television. Or maybe not, cos ZAFL is supposed to be the new thing. I dunno, seems like Auskick for adults to me.

Then, of course, the GAFL. Gaz, Dusty, Buddy, all those blokes. We’ve plenty of time to get to that. The Carlton-Collingwood match is on now. “Awesome!” Finally, Aussie Rules overlaps American football.

Cheers, Tipsters

P&C, a Stop Privatisation Of Footy Production
Brought to you with the assistance of Primal Scream

PS – I just saw the retro DAFL ad, great work.  But why wait? Is it some “until you see the whites of their eyes” approach?

About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. Where will I find the Primal Scream interview published Earl?
    As President of the Can’t we Find a Nursing Home bed for Jim Maxwell Association I heartily disendorse your view on that. A whole summer has almost passed me by with minimal cricket. January is where cricket goes to die.
    Good to have you back. Doubt I will surface until the GAFL. Music, books and self-torture (golf) until then.
    Yours curmudgeonly, PB.

  2. Earl O'Neill says

    I’ll post a link when it’s up.
    Which editor missed the glaring typo?

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