Almanac Road Trips: The Great Open Road Trip Blues

The Great Ocean Road Trip Test (Blues)!

by Matt O’Hanlon


The best made plans can often turn to custard. For our post Xmas holiday I suggested  a good old fashioned road trip to the Great Ocean Road for G squared and myself to see a bit of our great country. Begrudgingly she agreed and I set my plan including the hope that the Windies could provide at least 4 days of reasonable cricket which would add the great road trip condiment- ABC Radio. Under the pretence of Car radio democracy I proposed we each pick 15 CDs to play and listen to. I also allowed each of us to pick one CD the partner would not like and gave the Golden Girl the option to play her wildcard first. She chose Joshua Kadison’s Delilah Blue. High on my list of unlistenable LP’s. I chose that great mood musician Burt Bacharach’s Greatest Hits equally despised by G squared. Neither wildcard managed to get out of the case so did not come into play.

Jim Maxwell’s pre match commentary was excellent as usual however he foreshadowed rain and plenty of it as we moved through Inglewood. I drove G squared past G to the fourth (the Great Goondiwindi Grey Gunsynd) as the cricket started but by the Wobbly Boot at Boggabilla the clouds were looking ominous according to the BOM internet experts and they were right. A reasonable day shortened with the Windies at 7 for and much more music listened to than I had expected.

By Gilgandra where we stopped at the track for 10 minutes (fancy the Gilgandra Cup being on the very day we drove through) and ironically backed a 7 year old Mare wearing the 7 saddlecloth jumping from Barrier 7 with a 77 rating called All Sixes that ran would you believe …. 13th.  Soon after I hatched the plan that if it rained I would do a Kerry Packer and select the Great Ocean Road Trip Musician Test Cricket Elevens for Australia, England and the World. Selection was limited to Musicians who were members of the collection of music we had with us. Selection criteria included how well they sounded, whether they enhanced or distracted from the trip and if they made the trip seem faster or slower. Also if we heard a performer on the radio that guaranteed selection in the team. I allowed input from G squared (although she thought this was another crackpot idea) but made it clear I reserved the right to final selection. It is a shame but words cannot describe the look she gave me.

So here are the teams with some notes as to why they were selected.

Pos Australia England World
Open Mark Seymour

Holy Grail

Roger Waters

Us and Them

Glen Frey

Take It Easy

Open Glen Shorrock

Cool Change

Mick Jagger

I want to be your slave

Dennis Locorriere

Walk Right in

First James Reyne

Boys Light Up

Brian Ferry

More than this

Paul Simon


Second Paul Kelly


Paul McCartney

Band on the Run


I Wonder

5 Kev Carmody

Can’t Buy my Soul

Billy Bragg

Milkman of Human Kind

John Cougar

Cherry Bomb

All Ian Moss

Tuckers Daughter

Cat Stevens

Matthew and Son

Bob Marley

Buffalo Soldier

WK Jimmy Barnes


Mick Fleetwood


Billy Joel

Big Shot

Spin Richard Clapton

Birds on the Av.

Keith Richards


Bob Dylan

Idiot Wind

Change Glenn Richards

One Crowded Hour

Ringo Starr

Helter Skelter

Huey Lewis

Hip to be Square

Pace Tex Perkins


Joe Strummer

Should I stay or Shld I go

Ray Sawyer

Cover of the Rollin Stone

Pace Red Symons

Livin in the 70’s

Dave Gilmour

Brain Damage

Bobby Farrell

Daddy Cool

12th Bernard Fanning

Wish you well

Dave Gray



Paradise on the Dashboard



Seymour was the first performer to double up on radio and a favourite of G squared hence He opens with Shorrock and they would be very solid performers. Reyne was played on the Great Ocean Road establishing his place in the team. Kelly and Carmody are a great combination and Moss can hold a team together and do a bit of everything. Barnes was an obvious choice whilst Clapton still plies his trade effectively across the country. Richards is the perfect hardworking club toiler bowling upwind as a perfect foil for Symons who provides a bit of nasty along with the erratic yet brilliant Perkins. G squared was disgusted that I could not find room for Burn –My- Fanny however a captains pick is a captains pick and she engaged more with that CD than any other so I was left with no choice but to drop him. Whilst Australia might not have the biggest names they will play as a team and are all top performers on home soil.


Waters and Jagger are temperamental openers and apparently some of the action between Gilmore and Waters in the nets is not pretty.  Ferry, the elegant super cool right hander followed by McCartney the left handed superstar promises to be dangerous. Provided Bragg isn’t put off by the extravagance of some of the others in the team he could stand out. The Cat is brilliant on his day but can go missing. Fleetwood maybe the key to keeping the ego’s in check although he is high risk when he is off. Richards started as a pace bowler but in Yardley style he now bowls gentle offies. Is known to get distracted and has a penchant for excess which could affect the team. Starr is solid and Strummer and Gilmour are tearaways. Strong line-up of stars but may not gel as a team.


Interesting mix heralds another team that is full of stars but also the potential for blow ups in the touring party given they don’t have a common national interest. Frey speaks for himself but Locorrierre played himself into the team in his innings around Echuca. The old Dr. Hook had the car foot tapping away. Simon like all the First Drops is all class whilst Rodriguez is an interesting selection but has a great record in Australia. Cougar Mellencamp will go the distance whilst Marley is Sobers like in terms of his record. Joel is the perfect team man keeper and Dylan still plies the great art of spin after all these year. His Wrongun delivered first at Newport still causes shudders. Lewis is the perfect foil for some of the bigger names whilst Sawyer played above himself in the Echuca innings. Farrell is the most athletic player more agile than Thommo and that’s saying something.  Fit and fast- a lethal combination. Meatloaf specialty is the tucker so he was a logical choice to carry the drinks even with his terrible MCG record. The world team could be a surprise packet if they get it together.

On arrival home late on Monday I also gave my rendition of I’ve been everywhere man – Southport, Inglewood, Gilgandra, Parkes, West Wyalong, Hay, Oxley, Tupra Station, Echuca, Daylesford, Hepburn Springs, Ballan, Port Fairy, Apollo Bay, Lorne, Bells Beach, Glenrowan, Canberra, Sydney, Buledallah, Bellingen, Southport. Not a bad road trip and we were on the last CD (number 28) before a wildcard had to be played saving us both from a little pain.



  1. Great selections Matt. I worked with Burn-my-Fanny at an international pizza delivery chain in Toowong when we were young Uni students. I can assure you that he is a worthy 12th man as he was far too skinny to last a day in the field or at the crease. My love for Billy Bragg began in the 80’s when my college mate and I heard a recording from his concert at the Easts League club on 4ZZZ which began with the intro “Here’s one for all you sperm donors” and burst into the Milkman of Human Kindness. That same mate and me and my teenage sons finally got to see the great man in concert a few years ago and he certainly would prop up the middle order in any team. Good stuff

  2. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Some inspired choices there Matt.

    Billy Bragg’s A13 Trunk Road to the Sea was his road trip tune

  3. Patrick O'Brien says

    “I can assure you that he is a worthy 12th man as he was far too skinny to last a day in the field or at the crease. ”

    Have to disagree, TG. I’d have Fanning in for Moss; or a straight swap of Walker for Moss. Either way, Moss has never displayed the sort of form to get a run-on guernsey. Or floppy, as the case may be.

    “My love for Billy Bragg began in the 80’s when my college mate and I heard a recording from his concert at the Easts League club on 4ZZZ which began with the intro “Here’s one for all you sperm donors” and burst into the Milkman of Human Kindness.”

    I believe at the same gig he mentioned how important it was that the International Socialist newspaper be available around the world so everyone would know how well West Ham were playing that year.

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