Almanac Poetry: There was a brown land called Australia



There was a brown land called Australia.

Which boasted that it wouldn’t e’er fail ya.

If you were down on your luck,

Or dwelling in muck,

There’d be someone there as a saviour.



This land grew up on the back of the sheep,

And a wondering lust for adventure.

Some fought for our freedom,

Against old country serfdom.

Which tried to crush us in absentia.



We stood up tall and we stood up straight,

But a part of us grappled with torment.

We went to the wars,

And loved a good cause,

But a silent disease began to ferment.



We joked about poppies and their wobbly height.

And developed a system to dismantle them.

It started with the Royals,

Who made our bloods boil,

And unleashed a peculiar mayhem.



We began to turn inward with a vicious intent.

And despised anyone who got ahead.

With tall poppy hats on,

And a tongue-lashing action.

We belted the achievers till they bled.



Now one small little corner at the bottom of the place.

Had a few nifty things going on.

It had festivals, and carnivals,

Horse races and games.

And celebrated its fortune in song.



But the others did bleat and hammer the table.

Its not fair that it should all be down there.

And so started the quibble.

Which went to torrent from dribble.

And laid their motivations so bare.



Now days went by and turned into years.

And still the shenanigans persisted.

Then along came a virus,

Which sat down beside us.

And dimmed anything that had once existed.



The small little corner was hurt the most,

Due largely to a raging lack of skill.

But rather than rally,

And pick up this sick nelly.

The others went in for the kill.



Nothing was safe from these ravenous States,

Who fell over each other for the carcass.

They bickered and barked.

And did deals after dark,

Knowing full well that their actions would farcas.



We’re all in this together says the billboard.

As we prepare for Australia to fleece us.

We’ve come for you lot.

But if you come here you’ll be shot.

Now shut up and let us count our gold pieces.




Read more by Dips O’Donnell HERE


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About Damian O'Donnell

I'm passionate about breathing. And you should always chase your passions. If I read one more thing about what defines leadership I think I'll go crazy. Go Cats.


  1. That is epic, Dips.

    “poppies and their wobbly height”…brilliant

  2. Kevin Densley says

    “Knowing full well their actions would farcus … ” my favourite line, Dips!

  3. Definitely giving ‘farcas’ a run at some stage.

    Anagram of fracas too.

    Australia and failure is a great rhyme. The Wiggles used it too. Must check that song out again. I think it’s about camels?

  4. roger lowrey says

    On 18 March 1975 Graham Kennedy was suspended by the Australian Broadcasting Control Board from making any live broadcast on Oz television for pointing out to viewers of Channel 9’s In Melbourne Tonight the previous evening that fark (sic) was the sound of a crow’s call.

    Thankfully, less than two years later on 24 January 1977 the King re-emerged on Channel 10’s Blankety Blanks where he continued to push the envelope with risque innuendo carefully created to get up the prudish noses of media authorities.

    How times have changed! No such penalty from FA management for you Dips for your use of the derivative “farcas”. Moreover, it seems from JTH’s above comment that even a mild reprimand is not under active consideration. Lucky boy.

    BTW, with apologies to Richie Benaud, great bit of poetry that.


  5. Roger – I love the word “farcas”. Have ever since I met a poor woman who carried it as her surname.

    Have a guess what her first name was? Hint – there is an opera by the same name.

  6. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Farkas is Hungarian for Wolf.

  7. Luke Reynolds says

    Farcas sensational Dips.

  8. Nicole Kelly says

    So funny, and quite true! Loved farcas! Had a nice laugh. I also think shenanigans is a much underused word! Thanks for the read.

  9. Hayden Kelly says

    Just came across this funny too accurate and even more accurate a month on .
    Shenanigans is a great word and makes me wonder about high jinks and other such descriptions of having fun .
    One of my uncles from the Mallee always used the phrase ‘ they are ripping and tearing like colts in a paddock full of mares ‘ when he saw young blokes having a good time

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