Almanac Opinion: Just a weekend? If only …

 


Image: WikiCommons

 

The first time I really thought about the Australian Grand Prix was a few years agon when I stumbled across an online article. The comments section, as comments sections are wont to be, began with two sensible comments before becoming a depressing morass of abuse and stupidity. Go humans!

I remember reading a comment from a local resident complaining about the negative impact the race has on their lives. The response from many was that this stupid NIMBY should shut up and stop whinging about a race that only happens one weekend a year.

This year the Grand Prix began setting up its first grandstand in Albert Park in early January. Its website states that it hopes to have fully repaired the park by 2 June.

So, in fact, that’s six months. For one race.

Be it grandstands or fields roped off while they try to regrow grass – in a Melbourne autumn – the effect is that locals who want to play with their kids, walk their pets, exercise etc are denied access to large parts of a public park. Community sporting clubs are also forced from their grounds and made to travel to temporary grounds and facilities scattered across town. Dear Almanac Reader, you don’t need me to outline the importance of community sport.

In what was an example of either hutzpah or blind ignorance, The Age continued its bafflingly sycophantic coverage of the Grand Prix with an article on local driver Oscar Piastri, in which he fondly remembered playing cricket and footy on the Albert Park ovals. This article was published on the same day as a fawning piece about how it takes three months (at least) to install and break down the grandstands, without once considering the fact that these grandstands take over the very same cricket and footy ovals the Piastri piece celebrated.

Advocates for holding the race in Albert Park point to the fact that car racing was held in the park in the first half of the 20th Century. This is true. What’s also true is that those races were nowhere near the scale of the Grand Prix, in size or in damage to the park. It’s also true that Bolte put an end to that because, to him, Albert Park is ‘the people’s park’. Or, in other words, it’s not a racetrack.

As an organisation, the Australian Grand Prix Corporation treats the community with contempt. Try finding out when they plan to remove their grandstands and mini-city of portable offices and toilets. Their response is simply an image with various dates on it, none of which actually state when the infrastructure will be removed. They either don’t know when they will get around to it or can’t be bothered making that information public. Both of those are highly problematic. (Comments from Port Phillip Council on the Corporation can’t be printed in a family journal such as the Almanac.)

And, yes, the Grand Prix only hopes to have repaired the park by early June. Again, try getting a commitment that the park will be useable by the community, none will be forthcoming. Stories about the fields of mud lasting well into winter every year are legion. Last year large areas resembled the Somme more than Albert Park.

Weirdly, The Age is not alone in fawning over the race and all that comes with it. I must admit being surprised that The Guardian is a huge fan of military flyovers in urban areas. Especially so soon after all that handwringing on the 20th anniversary of Iraq and how militarised societies are easier to take to war. By the way, the Grand Prix’s ‘advice’ to anyone in the community distressed by planes flying low over their houses over four days? Wear ear plugs and keep your pets indoors.

You know, there’s a reason the air show is held at Avalon. Just as there’s a reason the motorcycle Grand Prix is held on a racetrack at Phillip Island, and the Australian Open is held at the tennis centre, and the footy is played at the … um … and the cricket is played at the MCG. These are all great events. The critical difference? They are all held at appropriate locations.

The Grand Prix is also a great event. It provides employment and shows we have the skills and capacity to put on big events. It’s always great to welcome people from across the world to Melbourne (something the live music industry does every night of the year BTW). Although, the Larry David in me is tempted to say, yeah, any moron with $80 million and a park for six months can give you a great event.

That $80 million figure – recent leaks suggest this the amount of money we give the race each year – is quite something. Last year, when the contract for the race was extended, we were told that Victoria had beaten off competition from other states (i.e. Sydney) and countries willing to pay more to host the race. Apparently, Victoria kept the race by ‘driving a hard bargain’, as if we’d managed to convince the Australian Grand Prix Corporation to become a philanthropic organisation and take less money.

Forgive me for smelling that stuff that comes out of the back of bulls. Of course, there’s a simple way of proving this benevolence: publish the contract details with the exact amount of public money handed over. No, I won’t be holding my breath, either.

Nor am I waiting for a long overdue review of the legislation around the race. The Australian Grand Prix Act should be taught in schools as one of the greatest policy failures of our time. Public space should only be given to private entities with the strictest of controls. This legislation essentially says, ‘Take as long as you want, but if you need even more time just let us know’. When we ‘stole’ the Grand Prix from Adelaide we rocked up Artie Fufkin style like a schlub with a blank cheque and a Kick Me sign on our back. That sound you hear is South Australia still laughing at Victoria.

So yeah, it’s a great event with that special energy that you only get when large numbers of people come together to have fun. But the truth is that it ticks so many ‘no’ boxes it’s absurd. I mean, I could get Metallica to play in my front yard and lots of people would like that, but, you know …

Let’s return to the fact that the Grand Prix is in Albert Park at some level for half of every year. Half of every year. That alone is evidence of the race being in the wrong location. Imagine if a bespoke track had been built at, say, Avalon. Imagine the sweeping shots of Port Phillip Bay and the You Yangs. Imagine the boost to regional tourism.

Ah, they say, but no one will go if it’s not held in the centre of Melbourne. Apart from being a bizarre argument – our event is so unappealing that people won’t go if they have to actually make an effort – I invite them to open up an atlas and find Silverstone. The bikes at Phillip Island go ok, too.

It’s great that so many people had fun. It’s great that The Age gets to deliver what seems to be its raison d’etre these days, taking photos of Bec Judd sipping a cocktail. Obviously, a fair amount of that 80 million goes to the Grand Prix’s PR company to feed The Age stories every day for a month.

But a lot about having the Grand Prix in Albert Park is not great. And no, it’s not just for one weekend.

 

To read more by Patrick O’Brien on The Footy Almanac click here.

 

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Comments

  1. Ian Hauser says

    Patrick, those ‘commercial in confidence’ agreements certainly exercise one’s curiosity. Doesn’t it make your BS detector’s alarm system scream?

  2. Could not agree more. As a South Australian who went several times when the GP was in Adelaide, I enjoyed it back then. But it also suffered from the same problems in alienation of Parklands as you have in Melbourne. Now we have Supercars, which is the greatest load of artificial old cobblers I have seen and I remain a car enthusiast. Frankly, I would not go to a GP anywhere these days on several counts. One, the cars are now ridiculous computers on wheels. Two, bit like the EPL, only a few have any chance of winning, most races are like a procession of billy carts. Three, when the race was in Adelaide, the guaranteed minimum time was 2 hours and there were guaranteed 24 cars. Now the Melbum version is 1 hour 20 minutes and 20 cars. You mob are being dudded. Four, Formula One will sell its soul to the highest bidder, witness all the races in countries with zero motor sport history. It’s basically the old story, we know what you are, we’re only arguing over the price.

  3. Good read Patrick, who knows how much has been spent (wasted) on turning Albert Park, and its surrounds into a playground for a rich persons extravaganza? Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

    The way it was established by Ron Walker in cahoots with the government of Jeff Kennet was, remains, shrouded in secrecy. Its cost benefit remains a source of consternation.

    Proponents of its benefits such as EY consultancy speak of the 2022 Grand Prix creating an estimated benefit of $92 M, overall helping boost Victoria’s GDP by $171 M: they said the same a decade earlier. We’re aware the Victorian Auditor General had previously said the costs outweighed benefits by 5%.. Figures from 2015 to 2020 showed annual losses of circa $55 M+. It’s estimated during the decade, 2012-2022, it cost $537 M to host the event. In 2022 it generated $75.1M in revenue though apparently cost $153 M to host.

    Crowd figures are even more opaque with the Australian Grand Prix Corporation not releasing figures. Compare this with crowd figures for the AFL Grand Final, the Boxing Day of the MCG test, or the spring carnival for the horse racing. These are happily shown to emphasise both their popularity, as well as their importance to the Victorian economy. Oh by the by, it appears the 2023 crowd figures were 444, 631, quite big compared with alleged previous crowd numbers but…………………………………..

    This is one ‘major’ event Victoria can provide to any bidders.

    Glen!

  4. Patrick O’Brien says

    Quite right, Gen. We should approach any figure provided by the GP with caution.
    Jon Faine is very good at causing them to hit the panic button. His most recent piece, in which he casually dropped that just as many people attended the Flower Show, produced the usual coordinated response that actually 450,000 people attend the race, supposedly many of them overseas visitors. I’m pretty sure I would have noticed half a million extra people wandering around, but I digress.
    The GP frequently gets the day with the highest attendance, multiplies it by four, and then says that many people attended. Of course, one person going to an event over four days remains one person, not four, unless you’re in charge of the Australian Grand Prix Magic Beans.

  5. Michael Viljoen says

    Government in bed with big business.
    Common sense and all proportionality lost in the wind.
    Treating those ordinary folk, just wishing to live and enjoy ordinary activities, as ignorant peasants..
    Contempt from authorities, who shrug and say, I’m just following orders from above.

    That was our three years COVID experience.
    Don’t complain.
    Maybe try organising a protest, and the government will send police to shoot you with rubber bullets.

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