Almanac Music: Matt’s Musical Musings – Have Love, Will Travel

 

 

Have Love, Will Travel

 

Work in the bush is hard, creating a lot of pressure. To let off steam, I’m doing a radio show. It’s a real tin shed operation, up old, wooden stairs, above a dusty sports store.

 

I’ve assumed a fake identity, just to go all out on something. A fat, retired wrestler called the Perculator, with a love heart on his chest because sleeves aren’t big enough. Everybody that appears buys in. The dominatrix, the guess comedians, whoever we pull in off the street, my sidekick and his colostomy bag.

 

I don’t know a thing about radio, so each time there’s dead air, we own the moment, rather than hide from it, and skull another beer. Make the show about hopelessness and humanity, about getting it wrong, celebrating our weaknesses, all that we are.

 

As such, our human of the week is the longneck from the rock star meets newsreader incident which has become an urban myth. We interview it, happy, hopeless, fumbling fools. I slander famous people, the fakers, the hypocrites, and send them a copy of the show, daring them to sue me.

 

With each mistake, we skull again, until we’re drunk, which makes for more mistakes, which makes us skull more.

 

This week gone, I’ve somehow found a beauty. Someone’s vinyl recording of ‘Daytona Speedway, 1967’ – Track 1: ‘Second Gear Shift With De-escalating Thruster in Straight Plus General Crowd Noise’.

 

The whole album is a dream! Sometimes I lie back, just picturing its original owner as they listened, the joy it would have brought, the truth of it.

 

 

 

 

So I’m doing the show live from the wrestler’s imagined panel van, only playing driving music, the Daytona vinyl on perpetual rotation in the background.

 

The Perculator drools how he loves the deep-bass gurgle of his V8 panno so much he’s recorded it, and plays it when he’s driving, just to hear it fro everywhere.

 

On the topic of sex, sensuality and sexuality, we “pull over” so the dominatrix can interview a parking meter attendant, and a country football umpire. In theme, I’ve invited a hippy girl to talk about her VW, and The Monaros, Warrnambool’s gutsiest three piece, pub rock and punk band. There are a handful of randoms from Apollo Bay, two very confused folk singers, and a few strangers I’ve pulled in off the street, two fans of the show. All of us, crammed into a tin pot studio with the band and their instruments.

 

By the end of the slot I’m rotten, naked for some reason, ready to finish with my all time favourite song, perfect for driving, ‘Have Love, Will Travel’ by the Sonics. A belter that grinds rather than wails. That cruises, with a raw motor, and beat up old PAs for wheels.
It finishes in perfect timing for the cross to satellite feed.

 

“Ohhh, that was good… let’s play it again!” the Perculator happily grumbles in his wrestler’s voice.

 

“Once more…” he cheers when it finishes.

 

When it’s third rotation ends, I look to my sidekick, who is also the station manager.

 

“How far over are we?” the Perculator asks, on air.

 

“Uh… eleven minutes,” he says, nervously.

 

“IS THAT ALL!?” Perko booms.
Everybody laughs as I put it on again.

 

Then, when it’s done…

 

“Who’s show is this?” Perko asks, holding the needle over the start again.
“Uh… “ the station manager replies.
“Who’s…?”
“Um…”

 

“Come on…” whispers; “Who’s…?”

 

“…yours?”

 

“DAMN STRAIGHT!”

 

By the 14th time we’re an hour over, everybody knows every word, the band are playing it, full bash, full volume. All of us, the hopeless, the lost, the awkward, stomping up and down to the heavy beat, shouting to every lyric, every letter of every word, to each other, to those at home, at the sky, the world.

 

The off duty policeman who found his way in is now naked, too. The band are having a ball. Chaos reigns!

 

I play it for a 15th time. We’re all invincible, until being woken up by the breakfast crew, picking up our pieces in the morning.

 

 

 

 

 

More from Matt Zurbo HERE.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Hilarious

  2. Malby Dangles says

    Party time! You could do your own version of the song “have footy, will travel”

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