Almanac Life: The Muse is musing on 2022

 

 

Well …

 

conditions are a bit topsy turvy in our fair city at the moment so, as an experienced man who went to the School of Hard Knocks and graduated from the University of Life, I am well-prepared; and for the first time I recall in December I was mixing between longnecks of Abbotts Lager and Abbottsford Stout depending on the weather. I’m thinking I should provide my consumption data as an important input to the work of those good scientists studying global warming. Probably won’t happen as I need to do something called a spreadsheet which I thought was something you put over a picnic table to keep the flies off the food but people who know these things tell me it’s a computer thing. Apparently, you populate the spreadsheet with numbers and the computer turns the numbers into any number or percentages you need to prove your point and you send it on or print it and show it to people who are mightily impressed. All sound good but I am beggared if I know how it keeps the flies off the picnic table especially if it isn’t printed.

 

 

Sorry I digress. After a couple of Abbotts longnecks tonight I rolled myself a Capstan Ready  Rubbed and commenced to muse on things I  mused about in 2022 . In no particular order:

 

 

How did the Australian voters [myself included] ever fall for Scomo in 2018

Albo seems to be doing well and he appears to be surrounded with some intellect but he hasn’t had to step high to step over a hole. Time will tell.

Not sure I would enjoy a beer at the local with Penny Wong but to me she epitomises ‘it’s a wise old dog for a hard road.’

The Liberal Party can conduct Internal Reviews until they disappear up their own cakehole to coin a phrase but until they acknowledge quotas for females are fundamentally important in politics they will continue to become more and more irrelevant and guess what some smart females might even write you some policies of relevance.

A strong opposition is fundamentally important in a democracy and right now we haven’t got a strong opposition.

How did I go from I could never vote for Dan Andrews again to voting for him? Well he didn’t have to step high to step over a chasm.

If the Libs in Victoria want to understand why they are further back than Walla Walla the answer is they continue to persist with David Davis types and ignore intelligent females.

 

 

Just to explain Walla Walla was a trotter in the 1920s who continually won off ridiculous handicaps. His best effort was to come off a handicap of 288 yards behind at Harold Park over 12 furlongs and win hence the saying further back than Walla Walla. I know you all appreciate the knowledge I impart on things I learnt in the olden days when I was a boy.

 

 

I digress .

 

 

Why are the AFL continuing to impose hurdles on Tasmania for a team when they embraced the Gold Coast and GWS like long-lost orphan brothers and threw more money at them than confetti at a Greek wedding. Bloody expensive orphan brothers they have turned out to be.

 

How paranoid are the AFL about remaining relevant in the off season. Jeez releasing your fixture for the first round at 6am on a Sunday morning just as the Socceroos are about to kick off in the World Cup. Seriously what young genius from marketing concocted that and who signed off on it. Why bother, the Melbourne Victory supporters are doing a great job of making the AFL more relevant.

 

 

Why do AFL Clubs continue to extend coaches’ contracts before they enter the last year of their current tenure  Good business practice would be to assess performance mid-year in the last year of the contracted term and then extend if warranted. Seems to me successful business people get on the board of the club they love, walk in, hang up the pragmatic business jacket and put on an emotional supporter’s duffle coat. Who was the last coach who wasn’t paid out? Don’t know the answer perhaps Paul Roos?

 

 

How did Bob Pratt not win the South Melbourne best and fairest in 1934 when he kicked 150 goals. Apparently Bob asked the question of the President after he came second and the response was ‘Bob you were spectacular but you weren’t as effective as the bloke who beat you.‘

 

 

T20 cricket, supposedly the saviour of the game, which would see the demise of Test Cricket has ironically shored up the game by illustrating to supporters how much better Test Cricket is than the short form.

 

 

I cringe when I hear Brendon Julian and Co talking up a Big Bash Game populated by players many of whom I have never heard of going through the motions for the cheque.

 

 

I feel a real love for the game when I see Starc with blood pissing out of his broken finger bending his back for the cause and not the cheque and Marnus just being Marnus or Lyon wheeling in with the subtlety of a surgeon.

 

 

Warner is a polarising character but I couldn’t help admiring his effort in Melbourne I haven’t seen many better than that.

 

 

I do muse if Steve Smith was captain of the Aussies in South Africa when they were doing naughty things down their pants with sandpaper how is it that he is ok to captain again but Warner who was just another pleb isn’t ?

 

 

How many people are being paid on the public purse to conduct reviews and enquiries to provide answers which any person with a modicum of common sense or street smarts already knows the answer to. God forbid why is it a revelation when the obvious answer is revealed.

 

 

Cancel Culture WTF history is history good or bad or in between. Feel free to lambast history or acknowledge it but don’t think you can cancel it because you don’t like it. Sorry guys shit happens.  Hitler happened, Australian settlers treated First Nations people appallingly, but it happened. Pulling down statues, changing suburb names, trying to rewrite it in text books is a lie. How about putting your energy into preventing stuff like this happening again.  Putin is happening right now by the way.

 

 

Social media has bred a society wherein a good percentage of the population are perpetually aggrieved.  Seriously, I don’t care if you got a parking ticket because your meter was expired for 10 minutes. You know the rules, pay the fine and the guy who booked you and ignores your preciousness is not a pig he is just a bloke doing his job.  You complain about the poor condition of roads but as soon as a road is closed for repair you complain again because little Charlotte or Angus or whoever was late for their piano lesson. So much of the stuff you are perpetually aggrieved about are first world problems. Cope with them and get off social media, and if you do, you might get Angus to piano lessons on time.

 

 

Mainstream news services encourage the perpetually aggrieved.  Fourth item tonight on the Channel 9 News was a female police officer being pushed across a road in a shopping trolley on New Year’s Eve by a member of the public. They were having a ball .My reaction: ’good onya’; perpetually aggrieved reaction: ‘Police should know better, why aren’t they doing their job, blah blah blah’. Vic Police then have to prepare a statement at the taxpayers’ expense to indicate to the perpetually aggrieved they hear their pain.

 

 

I hate bullying but jeez my mind boggles at opening up the Victorian bullying hotline to effectively allow perpetually aggrieved parents to complain about Angus or Bailey or Felicity being left out of a sports team. Firstly, I worry about the drop off in volunteer coaches as a consequence and secondly what about parents telling their kids ‘all I expect is for you to try your hardest  enjoy yourself  and respect your coaches.‘

 

 

I do recall as a 13 year old 55 years ago I played my first game in the Wycheproof Under 16s and I must say I defended stoically in the back pocket and by my count I accumulated eight kicks and two non Polly Farmer like handballs. I was dropped the next week and somehow I got over it. Well it only took 30 years to get over it and lucky for Greg Goldsmith [legend, beautiful man] the bullying hotline wasn’t open as I would have called it from the phone box outside the Wycheproof Post Office and vented my spleen. Goldie would have been stood down and maybe even incarcerated if I had been aggrieved enough. When I reflect I could have got the call for nothing if my brother Tony or Merv Keane were on switchboard duty that night.

 

 

Bit all over the place this Muse, but it’s just a few thoughts I had in 2022 .Whatever 2023 brings you I hope it is good

 

 

Cheers

HK

 

 

Read more musings and some great memoir from The Muse (Drizzle) HERE

 

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