Well, winter has come a bit early in our fair city. In fact Easter Sunday was so cold I reckon if Jesus was a member of the CMFEU he would have baulked at the task until he was struck a penalty rate. Regardless, I’m not one to complain as anyone I’ve never complained to will attest. After a couple of Abbotts longnecks tonight I rolled a Capstan ready-rubbed and commenced to muse on the fusion of AFL and Government spin doctoring.
How good is footy, how good is Gather Round, how bloody good is Adelaid . That’s a paid political statement as I was privileged to chat with Gil and his mate Peter Malnourished the erstwhile Premier of South Australia last Tuesday before the Gather Round. I asked some questions and Gil and Pete provided the answers.
H: Tell us about Gather Round.
G: Well it’s a unique concept we have devised where all the teams gather in the same city on the same weekend for a round of footy.
H: Sounds a bit like the NRL Magic Round in Brisbane.
G: No it’s a totally different concept.
H: Why?
G: We are Gather which means we are all gathering together and they are Magic which is a totally different concept
P: And they are in Brisbane and we are in Adelaide which is the pride of South Australia the greatest State in the history of the universe.
H: Ok not sure about that but do you think it will be a success?
G: Don’t insult us, of course it will be a success. We have handed out scripts to respected commentators like BT, Andy Maher and Dermie and from tomorrow they will be inundating us with messages about how successful it is and how right it feels to have it in Adelaide. Our media partners love it as they only have to set up in one town and they get an extra round for their rights. They are so thrilled they are actually despatching commentators to Adelaide in lieu of calling from the studio.
H: Even before a ball is kicked you are calling it a success.
G: Of course, don’t you understand the concept of making something a success. The more you tell the dumb punters something is a success the more they think it is a success even if it isn’t a success.
P: My spin doctors are all over it. The messages will be success, success and vibe, vibe.
H: Peter I digress but how is the ambulance ramping going over there as I understand it fixing it was pivotal to you being elected?
P: Next question we are here to talk about the success of Gather Round.
H: Ok how are ticket sales going?
G: We are confident we will sell out all nine games which means we will sell over 330,000 tickets.
H: Gil not sure how that works. I will concede 37k tickets for Norwood and Mount Barker but where do the other 300k come from?
G : Geez do your math Adelaide Oval 50k x6.
H: But there are two double-headers that cuts it back to 50k x4 or 200k.
G/P: Don’t bore us with data. It’s a success, it’s the vibe.
H: As I understand it over 500k have attended each of the first four rounds. Seems to me like over 250k people won’t be able to attend this weekend.
G: Again a statement of ignorance. It’s the vibe and it’s a bloody success. You are making me angry. I wish I could bring in one of my polo ponies to trample you.
P: And good luck getting an ambulance.
H: Peter, as I understand it the SA Government is stumping up about $14M for this successful vibe. How does the business case stack up and are all the taxpayers happy with the commitment?
P: Good question. The taxpayers will all be happy as they will be inundated with key messages focussing on vibe and success. Let’s face it, I am a good looking rooster just like Gil and I am in the political honeymoon period. South Australians love me in fact I reckon right now I would be held in higher esteem than KG Cunningham and dare I say even Donald Bradman. Now to the business case which has been prepared by the same consultants who prepare the Grand Prix business case for the great Dan Andrews. Simply I give Gil a cheque for the 14 mill, we are inundated with tourists who spend $70m and Bobs your uncle .
H: Good numbers which I am sure will stand up under scrutiny just like the Grand Prix numbers. Peter are you interested in taking the Grand Prix back.
P: Can you talk to Dan about that. It might be the right time as I hear he is cast and down to his last quid.
H: Thanks lads I have got the vibe and I understand now why it will be a success . Gil the concept is to share it around so where to next year.
G: You just don’t get it do you? When everyone gets the vibe and judges it a success and we all declare Adelaide feels right my good mate and fellow South Australian has another $40m plus tucked away to fund us for the next three years. It won’t be going anywhere.
That was the end of the conversation. And I can report that, as Peter and Gil walked away arm in arm singing we are the pride of South Australia, I stood and applauded.
In summary sure it was a success and good luck to Adelaide for the next three years. However the spin doctoring around something which stripped bare is a mutually beneficial commercial transaction leaves me cold. Just tell us that from the start. Footy fans don’t need to be insulted with that crap, they turn up for the love of the game wherever it is and they understand why clubs sell home games so why shouldn’t the AFL create and sell a round. By the way, I reckon Saints v Pies may well have attracted 75 to 80k at the MCG today, just saying.
Cheers All
Go Dogs they are looking a bit flaky but who knows
HK
Read more musings and some fine memoir from The Muse (Drizzle) HERE
Read more on Gather Round HERE.
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Well said Muse. We were over from Perth at the Sunday game for our sins – my Eagles are still atoning for highway robbery in 2018 – as any number of Collingwood fans gently reminded me on the day.
When the “3 more years” commitment was announced by Gillon it went down like a pig in a mosque in the crowd around me. Hint to spin doctors – not happy news for an assembled crowd of Pivots/Perthites/Pies and Saints.
“Mali” is Croatian for small or little. I’ve asked the Avenging Eagle to confirm that “Nauskas” is the Croatian version of “Gillon”. The Front Bar should have a regular “Little Gillon” interview segment.
The chants of “3 More Years” for Gather Round sounded like the Nuremberg Chorus awaiting the announcement that Gillon has “reluctantly” decided to go around for another term.
Thanks Peter very funny but very accurate . If I had been setting a market on an Adelaide extension I would have opened them at $1.02 by close of business on Wednesday night and firmed them into money back $1 by Friday lunchtime .
It was the vibe .
Very droll Muse. And pretty much on the money. The vibe however, was very real from what I experienced. I was surprised by the announcement of ‘three more years” (where and when have I heard that before) but seeing that the golf is on next week (and will, I assume, be on just after, or just before ‘the gathering’ for the next three years) it’s starting to make a bit of sense. Hopefully the number of families and individuals who have never visited SA for recreational, artistic or sporting reasons are significantly reduced.
Loved this. Well played.
Nice work Muse. I get very suspicious when “everyone likes it” type of vibe comes across.
Love to see the business case for the $14m.
Conceptually I don’t mind the concept so long as it brings footy closer to the punters. That is, regional areas. But there were 6 games I believe at AO. So not sure it passes that test.
Nice insights Drizzle. The vibe felt real. The sports culture in SA is strong. Playing, watching, talking. So the vibe does not need to be ignited by publicity.
I think more country games would work. Certainly the Barossa (he said, self-interestedly). I wasn’t at The Parade but that final quarter of Giants-Hawthorn looked like a classic of the suburban ground genre. Reminiscent of days past.
One of those games at Tanunda or in Mt Gambier or Port Lincoln would be brilliant.
Equally, the concept could work in other states – albeit Queensland is decentralised. Sydney?
People are talking about the golf follow up. (Interesting how the mainstream media have fallen at the feet of LIV, including the ABC). But the more significant ‘people’s event’ is the biennial Barossa Vintage Festival which starts today and runs to Sunday.
Thanks for musing.