Almanac (Footy) Poetry – The Rhymer: Woolly Footy Jumpers

Woolly Footy Jumpers

Didn’t they itch, didn’t they scratch?
woollen jumpers on our backs

they shrunk to nothing and the colours ran
and smelled like buggery in the property van

the collars chaffed and the numbers tore
wash ’em again and they shrunk some more
stitched up sashes, hoops and stripes
and monograms for the posher types

The colours came in every hue
not recognised by ram or ewe

from whom the raw material came
to keep us warm at every game

the footy teams kept the farmers going
the need for wool was ever growing

then some smart arse academic
developed jumpers of synthetic

and in a matter of a generation
Un-wool jumpers swept the nation

no more itchy scratchy wool
and the farmers left with three bags full

as easily laundered, comfy fit
replaced the awful woollen kit.

Farmers all gone down the drain
no more producing ball or skein

If they planted fields of polyesters
they’d be as rich as their ancestors

no longer need for them to shear
to provide the players with comfy gear.

© The Rhymer 2018


We’d love to see you at the launch of the 2018 Women’s Footy Almanac on 4 September


  1. Earl O'Neill says

    I hear it as a ballad in 3/4 time.

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