Almanac (Footy) Poetry – The Rhymer: In The Back!

In The Back!

Bring in some zones,
and other unknowns,
draw different lines on the ground

let’s make the game
more attractive, they claim
by tearing the old structure down

Rubbish I say,
the game is ok,
the rules are already in place

since Tom Wills came to fame
by inventing the game
we’ve tried giving the players more space

the rules are all there
just make it fair
Give ball players a chance that’s much better.

Pay holding the ball
but that isn’t all
don’t give rewards to the ‘sweater’

They hover about
for the ball to come out
then jump on the first player in

They drag the ball under
Raise one hand and wonder
If the umpire will be rewarding him.

The player is cursed
if he gets the ball first
and shows the greater endeavour

But in comes the pack
all over his back
but the rule could never be clearer.

a push in the back
is a push in the back,
about that there is no debate

If it’s stacks on the mill
award the pill
to the first player there – no debate.

It’s no matter if they
are last in the melee
each player that’s ‘in”s an offender

the pack ’round the ball’s
unattractive to all
the result’s like a cat in a blender

The in-the-back rule
is just the right tool
and to open the game would be prudent

Give the umpires instruction
to enforce the function
and we will all see an improvement.

© The Rhymer 2018


  1. Rabid Dog says

    Now, for a stanza about last touch/deliberate out of bounds; or being too hard at the football; or too hard a tackle and we;re almost there.

  2. Bob Morrow says

    Hear Hear ! Well said.
    Could change “Cat in a blender” to Frog in a blender for all us Geelong fanatics.

  3. Jarrod_L says

    I like it! Both the sentiment and the meter – nice work.

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