AFLW: Some reflections on the AFLW’s 2022 Pride Rounds

One of this year’s Pride stories, as written for the ABC by Kate O’Halloran (friend of the Almanac and Women’s Footy Almanac contributor), was about Gold Coast Suns player Tori Groves-Little coming out as a non-binary person – you can read it HERE. Darcy Vescio, a five-year player with Carlton, had also identified as non-binary in a tweet from late December 2021.  When Kate was talking to Virginia Trioli on Mornings on ABC, January 21st this year, Virginia’s phone lines lit up with awful messages and anti-LGBTQI+ sentiment. It got me thinking about way back in my time…

 

 

As a woman in her late sixties, I can’t remember when I first learned about homosexuality or lesbianism.  I do remember they were insults in the school yard even when I wasn’t sure what it all meant. They were the same school yards that would taunt young children of colour, as ‘Abos’, called random people ‘Jews’ if they wouldn’t share something or even if they had something someone wanted. In Springvale, we had Migrant Hostels, so there were Greeks, Italians, Yugoslavs, and mostly white immigrants of the day.  There were also abusive words for these groups and probably between these groups.

 

 

I was ever wary of the ‘Jew’ label being thrown around. Later, ‘lezzo’ and ‘poofta’ were used as insult words.  I don’t know if it’s because my family were Holocaust survivors, or Lefties, but it always rankled, and I was always aware of marginalised people or communities.

 

 

When I went to uni, from Springvale to Latrobe Uni, I knew I wanted to join the Women’s Movement and the Left. I was in for quite a shock to find the left was fractured into warring groups, and that from the Maoists of the 70s there existed a desire to beat the other groups and rape the feminists. Nice. So that was my first lesson in Left politics – ‘which left’.  The Women’s Movement was easier, though there were the radical feminist and general feminist, but I didn’t find that as a hard divide, more of a range. At uni, I fell in love with a woman for the first time, though her relationship with my housemate was too much for me to deal with and I gracefully bowed out. There have been crushes since, but generally I have been what could be labelled a heterosexual woman with a crush or two every twenty years.

 

 

I studied and had friends who were of all persuasions. I loved and left and loved again.

 

 

I marched with the women’s group and can be seen, along with my old university and life friend Rina, holding a banner in the documentary about Feminism in Australia, ‘Brazen Hussies’ by Catherine Dwyer.

 

 

So that was all 40 years ago.  I have been a wife, a mother, a divorcee, in a defacto relationship and by myself.  Then comes the next generation to shake the sexual tree once again.

 

 

Within my family I have those identified as trans-woman, gay, bisexual and straight male; (cis- is the word modifier if you identify with your male or female self.)

 

 

I stumbled a bit with the trans language at first, and have gaffed with calling people who use ‘she’ a ‘he’.  That was years ago, and I have tried my best to be better since. It’s an adjustment. It’s new. Growing up there were gay men and lesbian women, from my perspective and experience at the time at least.

 

 

The conversation with Virginia and Kate reminded me that there has always been a range of people, from the feminine to the masculine, in both male and female, as well as within each ‘sex’ and the in-between. Otherwise, why would all the holy books make such a fuss about it? Fluid gender identity has always been there, probably more in bubbles and underground for safety reasons.

 

 

Although lesbian, gay and bisexual have always been on my radar, I have had some rapid learning with transgender, queer, intersex and asexual people. I have had to learn that ‘sex relates to a person’s anatomy, while gender refers to a persons’ self-identified feeling of being male, female or a combination’. (CU Denver News, June 30, 2020).  This articles places a graphic and a connection to a great explainer at https://www.genderbread.org/.

 

 

I am very proud in the role that AFLW has had bringing these discussions forward in a wider context, even though there will always been a backlash.  People seem to forget our innate differences in their quest to try and make us all from one mould. But we have never been of one mould. Society has always struggled with accepting different sexualities and gender expressions.  Anything other than straight and cis was deemed unacceptable by most European society and especially those who were religious.

 

 

People are who they are and are not ‘changing their sexual identities and or gender’ just for the heck of it.  They are finding who they are as best expressed on their insides and out. We all have a way to go, and I thank the AFLW and the few male athletes (like soccer player Andrew Brennan) who put themselves out in the world as they really feel, despite the rancid responses they are faced with every day.

 

 

 

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About Yvette Wroby

Yvette Wroby writes, cartoons, paints through life and gets most pleasure when it's about football, and more specifically the Saints. Believes in following dreams and having a go.

Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing your experiences Yvette, hopefully an important time of growth and learning for many, despite those who use an opportunity to hate or kick down.

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