AFL Round 9: The 2013 ‘Mopsy’ Fraser Cup

Greetings Tipsters

Did that really happen?  It must have, no-one could make it up.  Imagine if, three months ago, you’d read one of those predictions columns and the suggested story of the year was “In the first game of the indigenous round, the 20th anniversary of Nicky Winmar’s spontaneous gesture of pride before an abusive crowd at Victoria Park, Adam Goodes, most decorated indigenous player, best on ground in Sydney’s comprehensive thumping of an inept Collingwood, has been racially abused by a sour-faced teenage Pies supporter.”

No, you’d say, that’ll never happen.  So imagine reading this next sentence back in March “A few days later, Eddie McGuire will suggest Adam Goodes as a suitable promotions man for ‘King Kong’”

I was quietly in awe of the serendipitious nature of Friday night’s events.  I’m a bit gobsmacked by Fast Eddie’s comments this morning.  Did he get stuck into the fruit punch on Tuesday night?  He’s far too experienced a performer, as Friday night showed.

There was a shot of Ed on the boundary at the end of the game that prompted me to say “He’s figuring the angles already, what he can do to put his club in the best possible light.”  So it was with a cynical jeer that I saw him in the Sydney rooms a few minutes later.  Which one is the real Ed?  Does the real Ed even exist?  When someone has spent so much of their life putting forward a persona for public consumption, the boundaries between persona and person can get blurred.  It happens to actors and singers all the time, why not the jowly bloke who hosts ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’?

Sometime on Wednesday morn, perhaps, the persona slipped and Ed’s own inner-sour-faced teenage Pie fan surfaced.

Sparkies played well, didn’t they?

What was Mad Sheeds thinking, watching the Kebabs get done by the Wiggles?  “I’d give up five draft picks for Naitanui!”  Maybe.  There’s no doubting that he’s a tremendous player, but would he be as effective with a team where he was the focal point, the marketing star, and no Dean Cox?

Those Kebabs can put together some good football.  Maybe it’s only for a minute or three at a time, but it’s there, and Cameron will be an alltime champion forward, but what they really need is a 120 game centre half-back to hold the backline together.  Those kids are all over the shop, they don’t seem to have much idea what to do.  A younger coach would probably be a good idea, too.

It seemed like just a few minutes later that I looked up at the teev and there was Matthew Richardson giving Leonardo di Caprio a #12 Tiggers jumper.  Was I seeing things?  We had guests and the music was playing, so I wasn’t entirely certain until I saw him giving them to Tobey Maguire and Carey Mulligan too.  Then he was out on the red carpet looming over Baz Luhrman.

What does this have to do with football.  What does silver-grey have to do with the Mosquitoes?  I envisioned a secret cabal meeting late at night, stern, grim men, wealthy, powerful and embittered.

“Zeus wants an alternative strip?  Ha, we’ll give him an alternative – GREY!”  It’s neutral, it’s bland, it makes the Mayblooms jumper look classy, it’s the worst colour on any strip in the league.

The Shinboners lost at the death, again!  I’m glad Grandad isn’t around to see this, he’d be 113 and not up to throwing the remote control into the next room.  I remember him complaining about the state of football in the mid 1970s, saying “There’s too much bloody handball!” so today he’d probably be saying “It’s too much like bloody rugby” and, if you watch the Footy Flashbacks on Sunday, you might be inclined to agree with him.

Cheers, Tipsters

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Brought to you with the assistance of Emitt Rhodes’ eponymous 1970 solo album.



About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.


  1. Tasman Hughes says

    I think Eddy Maguire should be sacked. What a disgrace. He obviously doesn’t understand that these “jokes” can cut someone deeply. I’m at loss to explain what he was trying to achieve by saying what he did. He’s just dragged all this pain back for Adam Goodes. I’ll lose all faith in society if this racist is not sacked.
    He shouldn’t be able to get away with it.

  2. Tasman Hughes says

    I’ve just watched the news. I’ve lost all faith in society.

    The injustice of it is too much. Nathan Buckley is a ridiculous idiot. Perhaps no one is perfect, but Maguire is one particularly imperfect person.

    The whole of Collingwood, excluding Harry O’Brien, should be ashamed of themselves.

  3. Earl O'Neill says

    You’ve no faith in society? That’s a good start.

  4. Tasman Hughes says

    Blame Eddy Maguire

  5. Tasman Hughes says

    And if society treats an absolute star like Adam Goodes like this, why should I have faith in it?

  6. Earl O'Neill says

    Bloody hell, you’ve asked one of the big questions there. Most of the media (of which Fast Eddie is a part) have been supporting Adam Goodes all the way. There’s been some voices who demand to differ – from what I’ve heard, talkback radio has been flaming on this.
    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You may think it ugly, cruel, bigoted, yet it is their opinion. You don’t have to agree with it, you need not respect it, you ought argue against it as strongly as you want.
    But people are always gonna be people, they will drive you insane, if you let them.

  7. Tasman Hughes says

    You’re right. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if that opinion is inhuman, crushing another person into the ground because of the colour of their skin. As Archie Roach sang in round nine, judge by the colour of the jumper, not the colour of the skin .

  8. Tasman Hughes says

    This has been a very deep conversation, hasn’t it?

  9. Earl O'Neill says

    I’ve had deeper, but in loungerooms, never on football websites. Neat to see your avatar.

    Yep, even if that opinion is inhuman, because without free speech, how would you know?

  10. Tasman Hughes says

    Very true.

    I was just wondering about the title of your article.
    It’s probably a reference to something I don’t know about.

    The picture is of me at Bellerive Oval in Hobart, watching the Swans beat the Kangas.

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