AFL Round 5 – Collingwood v North Melbourne: Honey, I’m home.

You know those kinda psycho footy fans that go off even if they’re surrounded by quiet people so they actually end up looking even more psycho? Yeah I became that today.

I was literally buzzing with energy, despite only getting six hours of sleep I jumped out of bed ready for our Easter footy marathon. Cruise to the MCG to watch my boys and the Roos, then dash to Etihad to watch my Uncle’s Bombers and the Saints.

Dad didn’t need much convincing to buy the tickets just where I want them, bottom level as close to the front as possible, that way my boys could hear me and I’d be close enough for them to…oh I dunno…maybe slide over a few phone numbers *CoughFASOLOi’mOverHereCough* #callMeMaybe

Honey im home!

Honey I’m home!

As the MCG started to fill the butterflies in my stomach started to tumble, we really REALLY needed this win and another Carlton loss wouldn’t be too much to ask right? #CopThatDaisy

By the end of the first term I needed water. The crowd around me was surprisingly quiet, well minus the man who was giving it to Dal Santo, but still I was alone in screaming like some possessed fangirl. Get excited people! Someone else tell Dal Santo he sucks, yell out SOMETHING! Nothing.

Erasing my worries of North flying away early, my Collingwood boys, though a little clumsy, were nineteen points ahead. When the siren sounded all that was left of my voice was a raspy croak. Yes, that loud, bogan-with a ‘Maria’ twist ranting nutcase was me. Though my throat was scratchy and begging for water I knew the importance of balancing the water/screaming ratio to avoid toilet runs every ten minutes. I only allowed myself two sips per siren, there’s no way I was going to miss the next Jamie Elliott screamer because I needed to pee #JustSaying #PrioritiesPeople

Speaking of Jamie Elliot…the kid is all kinds of amazingly ridiculousness! First off he melts the hearts of both 16-19 year-old girls because of his adorable babyface goodooks and 30+ year-old men because of his tendency to ride Jimmy Bartel’s shoulder for a flyer, tackle the bigger players to the ground and kick in the fricken’ middle of the big sticks. During the warm up he was only a few meters away from me practising set-shots at goal. I kid you not, he slotted at least fifteen goals. Everybody was raving about Jamie. I think that Grease tune; ‘hopelessly devoted to you’ was actually written by Collingwood supporters for Jamie. He ran back to clean up in defence, he tore through the mid-field, he set up from the wing, he tackled , racked up twenty-four disposals and kicked two goals. Any mention of him after the game and I was beaming! #WhoIsDaneSwanAgain



The opposition let Jamie loose because they worry about Cloke even when he’s not in form. Anytime Travis Cloke was in hearing distance id yell out some support. We all read that his performance is about his mentality so why not yell positive things at him? “Go Clokey!” *misses the goal* “Its okay Travis, Next one!” Eight shots at goal, four goals, four behinds I’ll take some credit haha.

Although we were sitting as close as possible I’m blind people! I wear glasses because I’m short-sighted and that’s great because it’s much easier to identify players from their faces than their derrieres but my false eyelashes annoyingly kept hitting my glasses lenses. I was THIS close to yanking them off! Only Danni Eid would wear false lashes to a footy match.

dashing couple

dashing couple


Where for art thou North Melbourne and what the fudge came over Lindsay Thomas? He normally has a field day against us, maybe he didn’t follow the water rule and spent most of the game going for toilet runs, or maybe like most of his team mates he just couldn’t be bothered. Boomer Harvey and Petrie seemed the only two out there trying. Dad reckons North might as well chuck in the towel when Boomer retires, they aren’t going anywhere without him. I agree, well to a point.

North just didn’t want the game, no fight, no spirit and I was more than happy to celebrate each Collingwood goal like I belonged in that weird Collingwood dance troupe. Don’t know about you but while they were dancing I was taking selfies.

One last cheer as the siren sounded, one last glance over at the boys. Smiling to myself like a weirdo I though; Bucks isn’t doing too bad after all and maybe, just maybe we could be playing finals footy.





COLLINGWOOD                 5.4    10.6 11.9 13.15 (93)       NORTH MELBOURNE       2.3    5.3    5.7    8.10 (58)

GOALS Collingwood: Cloke 4, White 2, Beams 2, Elliott 2, Pendlebury, Lumumba, Goldsack North Melbourne: Thomas 2, Bastinac 2, Gibson, Currie, Greenwood, Harvey

BEST Collingwood: Sidebottom, Swan, Lumumba, Pendlebury, Cloke, Elliott North Melbourne: Cunnington, Gibson, Harvey, Thomas


3- J. Elliott (COLL)

2- S. Pendlebury (COLL)

1-J.White (COLL)


Umpires: Margetts, Nicholls, Hosking   Official crowd: 57,116 at the MCG

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Luke Reynolds says

    Haha love the water rule Danni! From selfies to false eyelashes, this was a very funny read. Is Blairy still your main man or is he now 3rd behind Fasolo and Elliot??!!

  2. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Great read Danielle v amusing ( I think you have had a better weekend than your dad )
    Very one eyed in a amusing way , I hope you snare , Jamie Elliott ! Good stuff

  3. Danni, you’re a great character .. false eyelashes to the footy? Not many could pull that off with panache. More reports please.

  4. Stephanie Holt says

    And now you’ve written up the curtain raiser, any chance of your thoughts on Saints v Dons.

  5. Thanks for the love everyone! :)

    Luke- the water rule is a sacred one, embrace it in your own life haha. I love all my boys but Fasolo has nudged his way to the top #datass lol

    Malcolm- haha thanks! I adore Elliott but he’s a tad young fr me at 19 with me turning 22 and all haha I also have preference for brunettes!

    T bone- :) glad you enjoyed the read! The only place I go without false lashes is prob the supermarket haha. Ill do my best to keep em coming!

    Stephanie- Sure thing will write it up tonight! :) stay tuned!

  6. E.regnans says

    G’day Danielle,
    Good job on pumping up T Cloke. He was clearly assisted on the day.
    And good job on the eyelashes v glasses dilemma. I’d never realised that this could be tricky. What do people with naturally long eyelashes wear to help their vision? Contact lenses? Goggles? Scissors?

  7. Thanks E.Regnans! I think I helped (well id like to think so haha)
    lol people with naturally long lashes don’t have lashes as long as false eyelashes. Most people trim their false lashes down before they glue them on, but I’ve got pretty big eyes so I can pull them off untrimmed, though next time I think ill wear a shorter pair to the footy haha

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