AFL Round 2 – Collingwood v Melbourne: Magpies Made of Steele

by Danielle Eid

Let’s cut to the point shall we.

That was the worst I think I have seen these boys play, I mean seriously!

After last weeks performance I was excepting a big BANG! Something that would make me parade down my street with my flag.

I was wrong, very, very wrong.

As soon as the first quarter ended I wanted to cry.

Not because we were losing in general, but because we were losing TO MELBOURNE!

I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t happy, Mick did not look like he was about to hand out Easter eggs when he came down to gather the troops.


Boy was I in a mood.

The second quarter brought better clearances, Travis Cloke got a goal which was good to see, and Lockyer sent the margin down to a point. There was a great passage of play which I loved where Steele Sidebottom did his ‘thang’ around the boundary all alone, sent it to Beam who passed it to Superman which ended with me singing a bit of Ricky Martin, HE BANGS, HE BANGS, through a goal that is. Steele, Dane and Jack what a hot combo that is. I think that would have to be my favorite play of the game. Then poor Johnson went down, which broke me heart. I mean, he had it tough with a leg injury, fought his way back into the senior side and now this! But what brought laughter was the fact that it took 3 Dees to bring down Big Trav Cloke, LOL.

This week I have to say that Superman was a bit better but I was still unhappy with the dropping of the marks! Put some glue on those gloves or something, just fix it!

Yes Superman is pretty but his effort this match was not near delicious. In fact I was so unimpressed that I think if I had been at the game I would have thrown myself from level 3!

Medders is kept to one goal, which is disappointing, but at least it was a pretty snap through the goals.

Petterd and Green were inspiring for the Dees and I didn’t like it one bit!

*bangs head on notebook*


FINALLY Superman goals= BREATHE


“Don’t worry”, my uncle Jack said trying to calm me down, “Melbourne won’t win; they don’t know how to win.”

After this there are no other notes on my note book, I was stuck to the TV screen, my heart beating a thousand beats, then all I remember seeing is the ball in the Melbourne goal square, Ricky Petterd versus my new found poster boy, Steele Sidebottom, who does everything right to cause some sort of unbalance, a Melbourne mark dropped, Steele on his knees, siren.

My uncle Elie who had wandered into the room during this last minute was the victim of my excitement.

After numerous squeals of joy I jumped on my uncle, exclaiming “WE WON, WE WON!!”

He wasn’t impressed, thinking a Collingwood loss would suit him more, calling the Dees ‘losers’ in his dismay as I ran off to give the tongs to my grandfather so he could handle the barbie. On my way, happy as can be, I spotted the words ‘stainless steel’ on the tongs.

I thought of brave Steele in defence trying to do whatever he could to stop Petterd.

 I hugged the tongs in spirit of the moment; gee I must have looked like an idiot.

Collingwood   12. 14. 86

Melbourne       12. 13. 85

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Great piece Danni :)

  2. Danielle says

    naww thanks Jeff! :)

  3. Great article, Danni. Love the bit about the stainless steel tongs ;-p
    He got hot at the right time for you, didn’t he? :-p

  4. Good work Danni, bad luck on the performance though. I feel sorry for Petterd.

  5. Danielle says

    thanks Susie and Adam!
    hahah yeah Susie he did, i cnt stop thinking about how cute he looked in that prank! lmao gotta love a guy who can rock trackie dackies! ;)

    Adam, it was a really bad performace but they will bounce back, Petterd was really good hes got a good future ahead.

  6. Since you cracked the sads, nice report. Lol

    Better luck next week, if Harry O’Brien can take out Riewoldt for me i’ll pay you $5.

  7. Guys, remember to draw confused looks from all your friends this week by going up to them and saying “do you know this time last week it wasn’t?”

  8. Damian Watson says

    Great work Danni,

    I must admit that is the first time I have ever heard someone in their right mind admit they had hugged a pair of tongs.

    You should have been at the ground that final minute was frantic.

  9. Steve Healy says


  10. Damian Watson says

    You couldn’t bear to look Steve.

  11. Danielle says

    naww thanks Damo!! :0
    yeah would have been good i if was there.

    Gigs, what? oh and can u tell everyone that im ur favourite we has a massive argument over it, so celar it up please! lol

  12. Danni, you wouldn’t be alive if you went to that match. The fact that you survived it by watching it on TV amazes me. I was a wreck just listening to it on the radio! lol

  13. lol i know, i know.
    i would have like run onto the groung, stuff the 5000 fine! and hugged steele!!

  14. Damian Watson says

    The fine has jumped to $7000.

    The footy record cost has increased to $5!

  15. Man, I can’t believe what I missed out on! What an amazing ending it sounds like!

    I did listen to the first half though.

  16. I refuse to play favourites. You are all equal. It’s just that some of you are more equal than others.

    Danni, have you worked out what I was talking about? Because daylight saving has ended, this time last week it WASN’T this time. (It was one hour later.)

  17. 16- Gigs! we all know that im ‘more equal’ lol :)
    btw i sent in a freo v ess report the same day as i sent this one, so dont think i sent this one in twice lol.

    yeah i knew it was something like that, but its just confusing, i read it and i was like AHHHH BRAIN MALFUNCTION!

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