AFL Round 18 – Review: Drugs, Borat and Homer Simpson

Stuart O’Grady what have you done? You have sullied our reputation…we don’t take drugs. We complain when anyone else does and maintain the facade that we’re robbed and we play by the rules. And if anyone is caught we’ll just stick by them and convince ourselves that there has been a massive mistake…he/she really is of good character. For chrissake Warney even blamed his mum – just proves that we don’t take drugs and that not all parents do the right thing by their kids.

What is happening out there?

It’s all a bit bemusing. Poor old Cadel. Maybe he should’ve taken the stuff also and won himself more Tours de France before getting found out and living out his days in a vortex of shame and guilt.

In the words of Homer Simpson: “If I’m wrong, I’ll recant on my deathbed!”

Rd 18 2013 FEARLESS: The GWS song – sounds as if it’s from the Borat CD…

Two sides clashed from the upper echelons of the ladder. The Hawks and the Bombers had made changes but the Hawks’ additions probably served to bolster the team best with Buddy kicking 8.3 and Sam Mitchell having 31 touches. The Bombers got off to a flyer before the Hawks gained the lead and never lost it. Hawks by 56pts.

Carlton returned to Club Metricon, the scene of last year’s Ratten execution at the hands of the Sunnyboys. Fast forward 11 months and it might have been a blessing for the Blues. 40 scoring shots to Mick’s Blues against 22 for the home side was a fair indication of who controlled the game. A wayward Blues home on the coast by 43pts.

Melbourne hosted North at Etihad, a venue where the Demons hadn’t won since 2007. A scrappy 1st half saw North lead at the ½ by 25pts off the back of some Wells magic. 35 was the number – the age of Boomer, Boomer’s stats and Aaron Black’s number as he kicked 4. The Roos 16.9 to 1.2 in the 2nd half…the Dees invisible! Roos by 122pts.

Sheeds entered the MCG for the last time as an AFL coach as his young GWS side took on the Pies. After the Borat-style GWS song finished, Sheeds nearly pulled off the upset of the season. Young Giant Jeremy Cameron kicked 7 as the Pies ultimately cruised to a 40pt win. A 16pt GWS lead at the ½ had the Pies army quite nervous…

Given excerpts from Cat great Scarlett’s book during the week (barbs aimed at St. Kilda greats), it was good to see both teams at the end pose for a collective photo raising $$ for Casey Tutungi, the ex-Cat who is tragically now a paraplegic. Despite the big Cat win by 101pts, hulking ruck Dawson Simpson badly hurt his leg.

Fremantle entered their forward 50 33 times and yet still won by 22pts over the Crows at Subi – the equal lowest amount recorded. The Crows unfortunately suffered two more injuries to big men McKernan and Jenkins. Any chances the Crows had late were snuffed by a disciplined Freo outfit. Nat Fyfe outstanding – 29 stats, 4 goals.

At some point during the week, the game between Port and Brisbane began to take on significance similar to the golden era between the two teams of the mid-Noughties. Who’d have thought that at the start of the year? Port managed to cling to 8th, despite their inaccuracy. Brisbane had their chances, Port home by 9pts led by Boak, Schulz.

An undermanned Eagles team travelled to Etihad to take on a Dogs outfit wanting to take a scalp. Luke Dahlhaus upstaged some of his more prominent names on the field with 29 stats and 4 goals. The Dogs’ 1pt lead at the ½ gave them the confidence to run away with it by 22pts. The Eagles’ finals hopes dive – but they’re not done yet!

Sydney hosted Richmond, knowing that the Tigers hadn’t won in the Harbour City for 10 years. Even early in the 2nd, the Tigers lost some traction as the Swans headed to the main break up by 15pts. The Swans’ ascendancy grew and the Tigers could not keep pace. A 33pt ¾ lead became a 47pt Swans’ win. A reborn Jesse White 4, Kurt 3.

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