AFL Round 18: North have Delicious midfielder but Carlton taste victory in the end

Danielle Eid

Is it possible to get a degree in laundry-folding?

If so I should receive honors. Mums got me doing laundry all week and it’s come to the point that I don’t even bother complaining; why waste my breath? All it will do is get Mum in an angry mood.

Luckily, doing the laundry has been the only downside to my week. The upside was finding out my favourite cousin’s wife has given birth to a baby boy. They are still newlyweds and my family and I flew up to Sydney for the wedding last June.

This good news got me thinking about the miracle of life, which got me thinking about religion. I have always wanted to try to link religion to footy in some way. After consulting with fellow Almanacker Josh Barnstable, this week we have swapped; I’m writing for his beloved Rooboys while he writes for my adored Magpies.

This year North has been a struggling team and when I’m struggling I turn to religion so this is a good opportunity to try link footy and religion. Well hopefully it will work.

As a Christian the Bible is one of the most important scriptures to me.

With North in mind I chose a few sentences that I think relate to them in some way.

First I came across a sentence that I thought relates to all supporters and their team. I split it up like this:

SUPPORTER: I am with you, and will protect you wherever you go (PASSION)

TEAM: I will not leave you until I have given you everything I have promised you.

(PREMIERSHIP) –Genesis 5:1-2

In the beginning God created the MCG and humans, then he said “let there be football” and the great game began.

Both teams start the game with misses at goal and quite a few frees given early.

Thompson gets the first for North. Simpson runs in for a goal but a free-kick is given to Carlton. How bloody annoying, I mean it’s his last game and the umps still wont cut him any slack! Gibbs goals and to my delight Fev hits the post, ensuring my automatic reaction of, “Ewww Fevola!!”

As Petrie scores I’m sure that Josh is happy with the way the Roos are playing well as a team. Teamwork is essential for a win. If all the gears don’t work together then the machine won’t work either. Bible reference for teamwork:

If any of you wants to be my follower you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me.

– Mark 8: 34-35

So far the Kangaroos have shown this team work in that every player is committing and contributing their part to the team. The skills so far aren’t that great but the quarter finishes with scores level, not a bad result.

North Melbourne: 3.4. (22)                       Carlton: 3.4. (22)

The Adorable Andrew Swallow starts the second quarter with a behind; he’s Cute with a capital C! Ha-ha, if Josh could say anything now he’d tell me to shut up about the good-looking players and concentrate on the ugly talented ones! Swallow’s hair looks a shade darker than usual – me likey!

North are annoying me with their misses at goal, I’m telling you it will be the death of them!

Harding puts the Roos in front while my husband, Anthony, misses. Well I hope he’s not expecting a good night kiss after missing that goal!

The man of the match Simpson limps off. Trust him to be all courageous and stay out to help his team.

Bible reference for courage:

Be on guard. Stand firm in faith. Be courageous, strong and do everything with love.

– Corinthians 16:13-15

Thomas gets his third and I’m sure Josh is beaming for ear to ear at his team’s display of liveliness. Until … Fev!! Damn you!! As you can tell from that comment Fevola kicked a goal.

Siren- North up by 11 points with lots of positive action.

North Melbourne: 7.9 (51)                           Carlton: 6.4 (40)

Petrie scores and Murphy answers to start the third quarter.

Fev sprays one and I smile as if I had just seen Nathan Brown. Sorry Josh!! I’ll try to shut up about boys now!

Harvey, Gibbs and surprisingly Thornton add their names to the goalkickers.

Fev kicks his second, sometimes karma can be a female dog!

Swallow gets his first, apologies Josh but this calls for a celebration. Instead of a bible quote, I’ll quote from the movie 17 Again: “If that boy were an apple, he’d be a Delicious!!”

Fev kicks his third and I’m guessing that my hate toward Fev is nothing compared to how much Josh is hating him right now!

Murphy and Thomas goal to finish the quarter.

North Melbourne: 12.7 (79)                  Carlton: 11.9 (75)

Last quarter begins and I rug up as Murphy bangs his fourth. He needs to be stopped!

North misses and misses again. By now I assume that Josh has punched a hole through the television and is getting weird looks from his kitty.

Six behinds in a row, which could have been six goals in a row to drive a nail in the Carlton Coffin.

Looks like North supporters just have to be patient.

Quote from Bible:

Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

– Ephesians 4:2

However no matter how patient you are you must be fuming at the football gods for letting North miss all these goals!

With 2 minutes remaining North are down by 11 points. Josh is probably feeling the pressure and sitting on the edge of his seat. Goldstein does a Toovey by mucking up at the worst moment.

Siren. “Aww mannn I tipped NORTH!! ARGGH … FEVOLA!!!”

The teams make a guard of honor as Simpson is chaired off the ground by Rawlings and Jones.

It’s so moving when players retire.

North Melbourne: 11.18 (84)                        Carlton: 14.10 (94)

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Josh Barnstable says

    Great report!

    The line about Swallow being an apple would make him delicious, you can just use Bruce McAvaney’s quote: “He is such a young, delicious player. Haha.

  2. Thanks Josh. yer i know…but its much less awkward when it comes from me right??
    HAHA :)

  3. Josh Barnstable says

    Yes haha. I was at the match and it was so frustrating in the last quarter with all the behinds being kicked.

  4. omg poor guy!
    you should have put on some footy-boots and helped them out. oh and while you were out there gotten Swallow’s jumper for me!

  5. Steve Healy says

    Josh, I knew it would have been hell for you on Friday but what I went through today at the MCG was unbearable. Especially when half your supporters want you to lose. Worst game I was at ever.

    Anyway, great report Danielle.

  6. Josh Barnstable says

    Her new name is Daniella Steve, and i thought today would have been a good match, despite the final kick of the game which would have been enjoyable anyway. Bad luck, better luck next week!

  7. ..JOSH!!!!!!

    don’t listen to him Steve! JOSHUA doesn’t know what he’s talking about!!!

  8. Steve Healy says

    Hahah nah the e with a typo I meant to type a.

  9. looks like im going to have to resort to a song to get you boys to understand!!

    my rewrite of Umbrella by Rihanna:
    “dont call me Daniella- ella- ella- eh – eh -eh!”

    get it!!!!????

  10. Josh Barnstable says

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that’s gold Danielle! Lol

  11. why thankyou!
    boys always seem to understand things when they are in lyric re-writes!!!


  12. Josh Barnstable says

    No i’m not understanding actually, i just think it’s funny Daniella!

  13. Joshua!!!
    what am i going to do with you??
    The reason i dont like being called Daniella is because its TOO girly on me. i have a good friend called Daniella and the name suites her but i look like a ‘Danni’ all the way. i tried to get my friends opinion on this matter and they said the name Danni fits perfectly. Daniella just doesnt work!

  14. Steve Healy says

    What about Daniellae? Is that ok?

  15. HAHA..omg!
    JOSHUA AND STEVEN!! respect your elder ( in this case its me)thankyou!! j
    ust keep it at Danni!!

  16. i feel like a mother yelling at two kids!!

  17. Steve Healy says

    It’s Stephen actually to tell you the truth. What about elleinad, your name backwards. (or alleinad)

  18. Josh Barnstable says

    Fine fine fine i’ll stop. Pretty funny though lol.

  19. About time!
    did you guys see the Loser gesture Didak gave to the Bris boys?
    i was laughing so hard ITS SO CUTE comming from Didak!!

  20. Josh Barnstable says

    Elleinad sounds like the next name for Etihad Stadium haha

  21. Josh Barnstable says

    I saw what Paul Medhurst did to the Brisbane player’s boot, throwing it away haha. I just wish that an opposition player’s boot would fall off one day when i’m playing against a team. I could do so many things that are making me laugh right now hehe.

  22. OMG yes that was HILARIOUS because Medders is SO ADORBALE LIKE A TEDDY!!
    this is how it went:

    Medders: ohh lookkkk a SHOE!!
    Medders: hmmm, well ive still got mine on, so its not one of mine..what should i do with it?
    Medders: ohh well ill just chuck it over there…

    HAHA lol :) I LOVE MEDDERS!!

  23. Steve Healy says

    I thought it was funny when it had through for a behind and it was punched back into play and then Toovey walked in and kicked the smallest kick ever for a goal. Yea I love it when players lose a boot, especially when they keep it off and run away from the trainer.

  24. Josh Barnstable says

    Lol that’s probably what happened Danni. But what’s even funnier than a player losing their boot? Haha who remembers Corey Enright, Round 22 2007 playing in his speedo’s? Hahaha.

  25. OHHH GOD..yes i remember…
    im sure so many people have be scarred from that moment!!it was soo his teamates stil went ahead and kicked the ball to him!
    i wouldnt be complaining if jumpers got ripped more often though!

  26. hey Josh you can use that meddy thingo o wrote in ur report if u want

  27. Steve Healy says

    Hahahaha. I’ts also funny when player’s jumpers get ripped off. It happened to Jake King today. It also happened to Nathan Foley against Essendon this year and he got it replace with a 47 instead of 41

  28. Josh Barnstable says

    I remember Harry Taylor going through 2 jumpers against Melbourne last year and got it replaced with number 78.

  29. What do you guys think would happen if i went over to the Lexus Centre now with a bowl of soup to spoon feed Nathan Brown so that he getts better.
    would they let me in???

  30. Steve Healy says

    A bowl of soup won’t help his knee hahaha. You’ll have to get through Eddie McGuire first so I think your chances are slim.

  31. OR i think that i can bribe Medders to sneak me in if i give him my shoe!!

  32. Josh Barnstable says

    Hmmm i don’t like your chances Danielle. Anyway, i’m sure Strauchanie would intercept you and make you spoon feed him!

    well i would mind, ill line up the whole team and make a HUGE bowl of soup.
    plus i think Straunchine would prefer i feed him a Marsbar!

  34. Josh Barnstable says

    OR bribe Heath Shaw with a bigger jumper?? Or a band-aid for his head. Ouch did you see what happened to him? That would have killed!

  35. Steve Healy says

    Feed him a pie and hotdog like Doc Larkins did in the Legends game

  36. Haha True Steve.
    yes i saw..poor thing, i wonder what his reaction would be if i used a bandaid with Barbie or the Wiggles on it!!

  37. Steve Healy says

    Nah, if the doors locked get Heath Shaw to crash his car through it to let you in.

  38. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

  39. Steve Healy says

    Hahaha ok maybe I went too far. Maybe Nick Maxwell could fist the wall to let you in.

  40. Josh Barnstable says

    Or call up his homie Rhyce Shaw from Sydney and Alan Didak and it’ll be a team job.

  41. **COVERS FACE**


  42. Josh Barnstable says

    Or get Rocca and Dawes to grab Toovey by each end and throw him into the doors. Toovey’s head is that thick he would break the doors down lol

  43. Steve Healy says

    Or Travis Cloke could kick a footy through the wall. But he’d miss the wall completely.

  44. Steve Healy says

    Toovey’s possum eyes would break the door down lol

  45. :)
    thats more like it..
    Ill take the Toovey through the wall option

  46. Steve Healy says

    Hey Danielle I was at Collingwood V Brisbane and someone was calling Lockyer “Sheep Head”.

  47. WHAT…
    SOOOOOOOOOO lucky i wasnt there..arggg i hate it when people bag respected players who never do anything wrong…THATS SOO EFFING WEAK!! JERK!!

  48. Steve Healy says

    Well he was a Collingwood supporter. A typical Collingwood supporter hahaha.

  49. Josh Barnstable says

    Yeah Lockyer is a great player, one of my favourites for Collingwood. I tipped him to be captain a couple of years ago but Maxwell got the job instead. Interesting fact: Lockyer didn’t kick a goal, first time he hasn’t kicked a goal in a while i think.

  50. that’s even worse!
    seriously it annoys me when everyone is too busy going on about Didak, Davis and all the high profile players while they ignore the one that have been there for so long and given so much!! some people make me sick!
    yer your right Josh.. and ill bet he missed because he heard that Jerks comment!
    im proud to say i own a Lockyer badge :)

  51. Steve Healy says

    First time he hasn’t kicked a goal since Round 12 Josh ;)
    He has played well this year though, averaging 20.1 possessions and he’s kicked 26 goals.

    You own badges? I’ve never understood the concept of badges of AFL players.

  52. haha give me something to look at during half time.
    i have a few actually.

    ive got Medders, Didak, Lockyer, Pendles and Nathan Brown.
    i still have to get Superman :)

  53. Steve Healy says

    I look at the Record during Half Time lol.

  54. Josh Barnstable says

    I haven’t read my record yet actually, might do so tonight. Lockyer is definately in the bracket of players who don’t get the recognition they deserve

  55. speaking of records…the guys that sell them are CUTE!!
    my freind and i were walking to our seats and this really cute dude is standing in a record stand with his fluro jacket and me and my friend and i couldn help but giggle and nudge eachother as we walked past him.

  56. Steve Healy says

    Hey Josh where were you sitting for the game on Friday?

  57. Steve Healy says

    I hate Record sellers. They always hand out stupid change. I once bought one with a $20 note, and the guy gave me 8 two dollar coins! can you believe that?

  58. that me means he must have been really good lookinf..cos you cant be stunning AND smart!! :)

  59. Josh Barnstable says

    I sat in level three in the first quarter because apparantly when you get in for free thanks to your members ticket you get crap seats! After quarter time we grabbed some seats at the back of the Carlton cheersquad which was to the Coventry end (right). We sat right at the back, so if i looked up i could just see the wall with the small TV’s planted on there.

  60. Steve Healy says

    Nah he looked like one of those guys who are ugly and dumb

  61. Steve Healy says

    Yea I hate that. And you can only see half the goal posts.

  62. Josh Barnstable says

    Yeah ya can i’m stunning and smart! Haha :)

  63. lmaoo WHOAAA JOSH!! look at you go!!
    well i cant say much knowing that i only go for boys older than me.
    but i can say that you are smart and funny.

  64. Steve Healy says

    It’s easy for someone to say that on the internet Josh hahaha.

  65. im sure both you boys will give girls your age a run for their money!! :P

  66. Josh Barnstable says

    Haha thanks.

  67. Steve Healy says

    Josh, when do you turn 15?

  68. Josh Barnstable says

    August 20, which is in 19 sleeps if my maths is correct

  69. Steve Healy says

    Oh all right you’re older than me then. I’m septemebr 30

  70. nawwww your so young!!
    i remember being 15. lol i sound like im 80 or something!!
    i cant wait till next year MAY..ill be 18!! so cant wait for that!!

  71. Josh Barnstable says

    Hopefully Collingwood can deliver you a better birthday present next year Danielle :) unless they are playing North Melbourne of course.

  72. haha thanks Josh :P
    ive told my friends to buy me Nathan Brown, thats all i want.
    in a nice big red bow!!
    you know..i would be happy with a draw if it is against North, so i dont want to lose and i dont want North to lose!

  73. Steve Healy says

    Yea maybe Toovey will kick the ball to you in the crowd for your birthday present.

  74. yer out of bounds!! and then i will run down and kick HIM!!
    LMAOO :)
    the best present he could give me is if he leaves the team.
    i wonder what to wish for when i blow out the candles!!??haha :)

  75. Steve Healy says

    I hope Melbourne beat Collingwood on Queen’s Birthday next year- they better.

  76. Steve Healy says

    Trade Toovey for Michael Newton hahaha. What a trade that would be.

  77. lol GOODLUCK.
    howeve i must admit that Melbourne do play well against us.
    Newton?? hmmm you know what i would trade Toovey for a toothbrush okay!

  78. Steve Healy says

    Hah if Toovey doesn’t play next week someone should let a Possum on to the ground with a number 34 on it’s back. Like Tony Lockett and the Pig at the SCG.

  79. Josh Barnstable says

    I remember Trav Johnstone ripping Collingwood apart a few years ago on the Queens Birthday. And then Russell Robertson kicking 7 goals the year after. Going to the Carlton game on Friday night was sort of my birthday present, as i didn’t want to go to the game much closer to my birthday: North Melbourne vs. St Kilda. Carlton suited me just fine!

  80. Lol..thats not a bad idea.
    for some reason ive always wanted to chuck a plush teddy-bear at Medhurst, HE LOOKS LIKE ONE SOO BAD

  81. Josh Barnstable says

    Haha good idea about the Possum Steve! And we’ll take Newton in a second thank you! He’s good!

  82. Well boys ive just put on my alarm on 6:30 AM for school tomorro..have to get up for hair straightening and makeup (which im not supposed to be wearing)
    i better get some sleep or ill be the one with possum eyes tomorrow!!

    :) Danni

  83. Steve Healy says

    Too bad Travis Johnstone is terrible at the Lions now lol.

    Are you kidding? Newton was terrible today. He soccered a ball out of bounds from 10 metres out when he could have easily picked it up and kicked a goal.

  84. Steve Healy says

    Good night.

  85. Josh Barnstable says

    He is a bit like Ash Hansen. Can be good but can be bad as well. If he can get his kicking up to scratch and move to a good team (no offence) he could be a good player, not a star goalkicker but handy. I also better get to bed, god i hate school on Mondays!! Night

  86. Steve Healy says

    Move to a good team! How many Premierships have the Dees won mate?

    If Newton moved to a better team he wouldn’t get a game.

    He was Ok in 07, bad in 08 and terrible in 09. He can kick a good goal or take a good mark but he makes the worst errors out of any player in the AFL. He’s usually a laughing stock to most of us supporters when he plays.

  87. Comment 79: God i wish i went to the St Kilda game instead..

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