AFL Round 17 (FPS): “I hate Carlton!”

by Michael Atta


REPUGNANT :- Carlton Supporters


There is no better feeling than waking up on a Saturday morning knowing that your beloved Collingwood has thumped the old foe in Carlton and you have the remainder of the weekend to savior the Victory. It also means that we can watch all the TV Football shows like On The Couch, One Week At A Time’and Footy Classifieds as commentators wrap up our final chances and get stuck into Carlton! I only wish I could still purchase a copy of the Sporting Globe then my weekend would be complete !


This week I didn’t have the pleasant surrounds of the Medallion Club with its icy cold Crownies , rich full bodied reds and  all its trimmings, instead I settled for standing room in the forward pocket, sipping a $9.00 bourbon and coke surrounded by Carlton pain in the arse supporters. It was actually a pleasant change and don’t worry as the game went on I didn’t miss the opportunity to gave it to a few of the ill informed, smart arse Carlton supporters who were extremely vocal during the course of the game.


   I hate Carlton!


Let’s face it the quality of the game was poor and if not for a couple of magical goals by Neon Leon there wasn’t a lot to savior from the game. The goals were so good he could win two cars! One other highlight from the game was the new world and Olympic record set by the pies in running bounces!


The game can best be summarized by Mick Malthouse’s quote after the game, “ we did a lot of things right, we did a lot of things wrong, but we did the majority of things right, which we needed to do” 


The game was set up in the first quarter, where we won the centre clearances, with Swann and Pendles winning plenty of the ball, Shaw rebounding off half back and a trip down memory lane with young Barham breaking the lines, eluding a couple of would be tacklers and kicking a goal!


The second and third quarters were ugly affairs with both defenses on top and more turnovers than you would find in a Danish Pastry Shop.     


The last quarter was similar to the first and it was good to see Didak playing his 150th break the shackles and get a few touches and kick a nice running goal. It was important that we finished off the game well and take some confidence and form into next week’s game against Brisbane.





Our defense has become one of the best in the AFL, lead by our Captain and without doubt the most improved player at the club, Nick Maxwell. His leadership, skill, strength in the air and at ground level has inspired those around him. Presti is doing his job, week in and week out and whilst he doesn’t win a lot of possession he is all over his opponents like a lap dancer with a punter at the Men’s Gallery! Harry has been fantastic all year and has become a truly unique player in that he can play on a big or small forward, is deceptively quick and has that little bit of flair and hair that we as fans love! Then there is the best player on the ground this week, Heath Shaw who has been slowly building his run and form in recent weeks. I would also like to acknowledge the games of Leigh Brown and Allan Toovey who whilst both can make mistakes have played pivotal roles within the team all year.


Voting was difficult in that you probably could have given best on the ground to any of the top four vote getters. I ended up giving one vote to Dayne Beams who I thought played well over the four quarters and should this week receive a Rising Star Nomination. My apologies to Travis Cloke, Pendles, Presti and Johnston.


The Ray Byrne Medal goes to Heath Shaw




1                    Heath Shaw

2                    Nick Maxwell

3                    Leon Davis

4                    Dane Swan

5                    Dayne Beams    



  1. Danielle says

    I agree with everything you said.
    As A fellow Magpie , i hate Carlton too.
    Did you see Joffa wearing an “I HATE CARLTON” t-shirt? i want one!!
    GO PIES!!!

  2. Stainless says

    Whilst it gives me no great pleasure to see Collingwood winning, I agree there is something particularly irritating about Carlton this year and it’s great to see their bandwagon hopping supporters having to cop such a mauling. After the anguish I had to endure in Round 1 when they thrashed Richmond on a night when everything Carlton tried worked perfectly, it was great to see them have a night when absolutely nothing went right for them.

    (Tigers beating Essendon wasn;t bad either).


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