AFL Round 12 – Carlton v Hawthorn: Statistically A Perfect 10

Football is an institution to many. Like a much loved pet, it comes into our lives in different ways and becomes a part of it and we live our lives with it and around it.

For me it arrived in the shape of 1976 Scanlen’s football cards. While the hard pink chewing gum was instantly recognisable as an edible item for a 6 year old, I was drawn to the colour of the jumpers and the names of the teams and players on the cards. I became a footy fan. As a family friend (Richard Walter) was playing with Hawthorn I chose the Hawks as my team. My team won a flag straight up but I didn’t really absorb what a premiership was in 1976 – although I enjoyed the colour pictures in the Herald Souvenir liftout given to me by Richard’s father. I do vividly remember being parked in front of the TV to watch them win in 1978. Richard featured as card No.5 in the 1978 Scanlen’s series and played 2nd ruck for the Hawks in the Premiership that year before consecutive knee reconstructions ended his career at the age of just 21. For me though, my career as a Hawks fan had only just begun.

By 1979 I wanted to know more about my chosen team of Hawthorn who had won 2 flags in the 3 years I had followed them. I would borrow all the football books I could find in the Kallista Primary School library and devour the information. The history and statistics featured in Football – The Australian Way (John Craven), How To Play Football (John Dunn), Courage book of Brownlow Medal Records, League Football In Victoria 1972 (it wasn’t a very modern library) and Ron Barassi Football Book became instantly recitable items for me. I can still recite every Premier and Brownlow Medallist, if only that had been a school subject.

What I found was that I had chosen a fortunate time to start following the Hawks. There was very little mention of them in the pages of history because they had rarely been making it other than for the wrong reasons. It was all Carlton, Collingwood, Essendon, Melbourne, Geelong and Richmond. In the early days South Melbourne and Fitzroy were prominent. Hawthorn had won flags in 1961 and 1971 as well which at least gave us more than St.Kilda, North Melbourne and Footscray.

I read about past stars like Barassi, Skilton, Nicholls, McKenna, Whitten, Murray, Dyer, Hart, Stewart, Baldock, Bunton, Coventry, Farmer, Reynolds etc. Many champions but few seemed to come from Hawthorn. Hudson was about the only name that was mentioned alongside those. Arthur, Crimmins, Kennedy, Peck and Edwards were about the only others considered worthy. Who were Clem Splatt, Stan Spinks, Tich Utting and Butch Prior, among the few Hawthorn early mentions in the sparse records? Every club had at least 3 Brownlow Medallists – Hawthorn had none.

Then came the damning statistics. The team I followed had finished in the bottom 3 in all but 4 of their first 29 years in the VFL, including 9 wooden spoons. Imagine the last 4 years of the Melbourne FC and multiplying that by 7 – that was Hawthorn’s history 1925-53.

Statistics give bragging rights. Collingwood have 15 flags, it gives them statistical power – even if only 4 have occurred in the last three quarters of a century and few of their fans have seen more than 2. Geelong are wanting to have VFA premierships pre-1897 included for more statistical clout.

Football is a game of stats. The highest score wins…statistics. The AFL ladder…statistics. Determining great players…roll out their statistics. Analysing games we discus forward entries, tackles, pressure acts, hard ball gets etc…it’s all statistics.  Ron Barassi once famously berated Gerald Healy at the SCG in the early 80’s “Give me possessions and I’ll shut up”. Dreamteam and Supercoach – it’s all about statistics.

For me in 1979 the statistics of interest were wins/losses against teams, highest/lowest scores. You can hate a club for many reasons, I hated Carlton statistically. In football you are not envious or jealous – you just hate. Our record against Carlton at the time was amongst the worst in the VFL – 24 wins (mostly in the 60’s and 70’s), 74 losses. We had lost our first 25 encounters with Carlton consecutively (1925-38) while conversely our longest winning sequence was just 3. It is the 2nd longest losing streak in VFL/AFL history (Hawthorn also own the longest v Collingwood – 29 1925-41). Carlton had kicked a then VFL Record 30.30.210 against us in 1969. Greg Kennedy kicked a club record12 goals against us in 1972.  Our greatest win in 55 years against them had been by 60 points in 1971. We owed them some pain in return, we owed them statistically. But in the next few years, 1979-82, Carlton won 3 more flags and kept torturing us with 8, 9 or 11 goal quarters to win matches they shouldn’t have – they even did that in 1983 when we won a flag.  Winning 10 out of 11 from 1984-87 gave Hawthorn some atonement but losing the 1986 2nd SF cost us a chance of 10 in a row. I REALLY wanted 10 in a row against Carlton but by the time the 90’s came along Hawthorn had waned as a power and that dream seemed destined to be unfulfilled.

Finally, 34 years after becoming a statistical follower of the Mighty Hawks, the day – or night as it was – has arrived. 10 in a row against Carlton and interestingly also 10 in a row for the season, that is statistically well balanced. Thanks to the draw, where we usually only meet them once per year, this also becomes the longest period of time in Carlton’s history that they have failed to beat an opponent.

Now if we could only get 10 in a row against Essendon or Collingwood.