AFL Round 10: The Wrap


Where life imitates Football

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.  It was such a lovely morning on Sunday we decided to leave the black crepe decorated Wraplounge to take in the sounds and scents of the Burbs.  The local Rec had a couple of junior matches going.  The locals played in the Golden Brown of The Leafy East; they were up against a  Team From Old Fitzroy and another one playing in the Yellow & Black of Struggletown.  The standard was incredible.  The U11s (TBFOF), as would be expected of lads of their tender years, had soft hands, but the run and structure was there, and the kicking.  The older lads, the U13s, were locked in a lead-changing thriller that saw the ball swept from end to end at a breath-taking pace; run and carry interspersed with a long kick to position whenever the opportunity of advantage was there.  When someone expressed surprize at the quality of the Footy, they were told, You’ve been watching the AFL for too long.  After watching the first half of the Carlton v Adelaide match you could see what they meant.

Furthermore, the coffee was twice as good and half the price you’d pay at The Elite Level.

But enough of my gabbin’.  Let’s see who’s left to go again after Round X.

The Pivotonians v The Shinboners.  No surprizes here.  The Handbaggers burst out of the blocks – as is their want – and with The Big Tomahawk dominating, withstood everything The Shinnies threw at them.  Which – it must be said – didn’t really include The Gasometer.  It doesn’t get any easier for The Norsemen next round – a trip to the Western Edge of The Fatal Shore to take on The Eddie Eagles in the loneliest time of the weekend.  Nor does it get any easier for The Moggies: The Bloods on a Thursday night up in Sin City.

The Greater Western Sydney Leviathans v The Striped Marvels.  At the Post Match Presser, The Richmond Coach, Sir Jack Riewoldt, said it was refreshing to see the players sticking with the Game Plan.  The Tiger Full Forward’s 11-2 was nearly more than the whole side kicked last weekend, but then, they weren’t playing GWS last weekend.  Don’t know what’s happened out there at The Western Frontier of Tinseltown, but they’re leaking goals like ASADA review leaks confidences.  The Penrith Pygmies have been invited down to THOF by TRP OTR for a dabble in The Twilight Zone.  Keep the kiddies away from the screen and on no account take them anywhere near Yarra Park on Sunday.  This is going to be a very ugly episode in the long annals of VFL/AFL Football.

Carringbush v The Wedgies.  Did The Maggies get out gaol, or did they play their GAD card?  A six goal Final Stanza got them across the line, but not before a Hundred Minutes of Football.  This match had all the thrills of the fare and all the delight of the circus.  If you had your cousin over from Ghana, this is the one you’d want her to see.  The High Flying Kings of The Big Game may consider themselves stiff, but in a match like this, the loser is always going to have cause to lament.  The main lamentation should be that they blew a golden opportunity to win on the road against quality opposition.  And that chicken is sure to loom  large on the roost come the end of August.  They have The Sunbeams at home for the early one (EST) in Round XI.  The Woodsmen have The Saint Seaford Seagulls on Friday night under cover.  That’s right Wrappers: The Carringbush Faithful will have to find their way down to the dark & mysterious Docklands.  (Thank god for GPS navigation – Ed)

Port Adelaide v The Mayblooms.   The Reigning Premier is dead.  Long live The Reigning Premier.  The once unfashionable Port Adelaide drew a record Home & Away crowd to TPAO to see The Homeside complete the double of last year’s Grand Finalists.  And you’d reckon they would have won a few fans from The Wider Football World.  Their pace is electric and their tackling ferocious.  They had The Mayblooms on the back foot from the Opening Bounce, and although The Mustard Pots fought themselves back into the contest over the Championship Quarter, The Challengers have made The Fourth Quarter their own this season and were able to stamp their authority on the match to sit a match and percentage clear astride the Competition Table.  The Hawkers were competitive all night, and can take some solace that the GF is played at The G, and that they had six of their best eight sitting up with the Wives & Girlfriends.  Their main concern now not so much securing the Double Chance; it’s avoiding having to go over to Adelaide to use it.  They host Gone West Sydney in the gathering gloom next Sunday.  The Hinkleyites have the star billing on the Big Stage for Saturday night against The Rampaging Redlegs.

The Red & Yellow Horde v The Kennel Coughs.  The Sunbeams are in the Four and have a draw and a game style that could see them still there at the end of August.  They have five Eight Point Matches over the second half of the Home & Away Season – three of them at home.  If they can turn the Metricon into a Killing Field they will earn themselves a Double Chance.  The Labradoodles stayed with them for half a game, but as they have all season, undid all their good work in one dog of a quarter.  The Abletts are off to the City of Churches next Sunday for the early one against The Unwooded Chardonnays.  The Bow Wows have The Anchormen on the Shifting Sands at the meaningless time of 15.20 hours.

The Miseries v The Chardonnays.  If ever a match should have been declared a draw it was this one. Not because neither side deserved to lose, but because neither sided deserved to win.  (You predicted this Wrap – Both sides are rating mediocre minus.  We’re going for The Homeside, but keep your hands in your pockets – Ed)  Never mind that Ed.  It’s an indictment of where The Game is at – at The Elite Level – when you consider both these sides have pretentions of playing in September.  The Bluebaggers are up in the Lions’ Den in the gathering gloom of next Saturday.  The Ravens are back in the City of Light to turn off the hot water in the showers for The Little Master & his Steaming Suns.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. On the money as always Mr Wrap, Shame about the WROTR but stick with the Wedgies for Sunday back on the fatal shore. There’s something brewing. Could be indigestion, but you never know.
    I spent 2 years following Swan Districts Colts when my nephew was playing. Steve Coniglio now of GWS was the skipper. Easily the best footy I have watched in the last 10 years. All of the skills, with none of the mechanistic, tactical crap that super endurance athletes can produce in the Anti Football League.

  2. Earl O'Neill says

    “You’ve been watching the AFL for too long.” Gold!
    Gotta get out and check the Sydney Football League soon. I wonder what colours Balmain are wearing this season?

  3. The Wrap. says

    G’ay Earl. Howya travelling? Been down to Millers Point lately? The Old Girl was asking me about the Palisade. Do you know if she’s back in action yet. Best pub in Sydney by far.

    And if Balmain aren’t wearing the Yellow & Black of Struggletown the job’s not right.

  4. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Top stuff Wrap and local level is quite often better footy to watch as the blues and crows showed , Sunday there are a lot of very average teams and players at the elite level

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