Abu Dhabi Falcons Player Profiles

By Dan Brooke (with assistance from Russell Yule)
  • M Day: Flash or Flamer was the nickname decision. Flash won as Mick’s ability to go from here to there in the blink of an eye is superb. Almost manages to disguise his ginger taint through bright eyes and bushy tailed approach. Has promised to demonstrate on field “The Wombat” when he kicks a goal, however despite goaling the wider UAE community is yet to be regaled with the afore-mentioned celebration. Once he learns the rules and realizes where he can kick goals will probably lose reputation as a team player.
  • M Molnar: Once described as the Junkyard Dog, he’s hungrier for the ball than a cattle dog with tapeworm. Voted most likely to finish game drenched in blood. Will dive in, get the ball and be off and running before anyone’s had time to blink. Apparently he’s planning on talking to his girlfriend after the game too, monumental event.
  • J Parmansche: Superpunch as he’s known, not because he is One Touch’s partner in crime when random blokes go within 50 metres of Lisa, but because of his ability to punch, get up, chase, get ball and kick goal. Known for his fine assortment of “beach muscles” and knowledge of how to develop them.
  • M Deverall: The tallest bloke in the league will once again play a commanding role in the ruck. Don’t let it be known that although he technically doesn’t leave the ground when he jumps he still wins the majority of the taps. Is making an impact up forward with Go-Go-Gadget arms thwarting fullback attempts at punching by about 34 inches, despite still not leaving the ground.
  • S Brohaska: Ten. It is official that Snuggle’s girlfriend will be attending the game and after drinks. Make her feel welcome. Stu will be trying to impress her on the field so expect him to lead from the front as usual. Smooth, silky runner who is not afraid to get in and under as required. Has probably contributed in the lead up to most Falcons goals this year.
  • A Trezinski: Trigga…the only bloke in the UAE with a drink named after him (fresh lime please). Absolute class on and off the field, will be the commander of the midfield. The little feller is the classic Jeckyl/Hyde, Superman/Clark Kent character. Completely rational, logical and calm off the field. Total focus and commitment to the ball and team on the field. As involved in lead up work to goals as Stu.
  • G Tracey: First gamer, it is an unknown fact that Gary comes from a pikey background. Therefore do not be surprised if after the game he presents all the opposition players wallets, phones and car keys and tries to sell them to you. Fitter than the proverbial Irish fiddle and a stalwart of the local Gaelic club, (which I can’t spell without remedial assistance), is learning where to be and playing key role as a relief player in the mid-field effectively allowing our guns to recharge while holding up an end in cricket parlance.
  • J Hanusek: Officially best off ground with his bar rants at Aloft genuine crowd pleasers guaranteed to be the funniest things you will hear all year, just get him started. As usual will bring the talent he provides off the field on to the field. Plays fullback with the single-minded determination. Rarely misses a game, rarely beaten, improves with every game played after two seasons coming from a US football background is now amongst the first picked. Great player, great bloke, but do not trust with expedition leadership. Got the majority of the team more lost than Burke and Wills on jaunt to Muscat last year…
  • M Wood: Never handballed in his life, always u-turns, snaps over his head rather than a better option…but he’s good at it so we let him do it. Has a love/hate relationship with One Touch which is really cute. Despite many short-comings – ginger, skinny and ginger – manages to gloss over these by having a big motor and the loudest voice. Generally jags a lazy 3-5 goals while playing as a forward leading to the mid-field and beating his man back to the scoring zone. Best return was 8-9 last year on one leg. Foundation member of the Falcons being present at the meeting to see if there was interest in forming a team in Abu Dhabi as well as being part of the first team out of the capital (combined with Muscat).
  • J O’Neill: The flying Irishman, no one can question Kneecaps ability to get the ball, run with it, break tackles. If only he could learn to kick it. I did see him kick two at training which could be a sign of things to come. The only thing faster than his ground coverage is his conversation, which either requires clarification or results in nodding agreement with absolutely no clue what he is talking about. Fortunately his kelpie with different coloured eyes nature on the field, (allegedly a sign of psycho in said canines), is tempered by the craic of it. Top man.
  • M Brunsdon: One Touch, Cross Bar, Punchy….one thing this guy has is a lot of nicknames (mostly self-imposed). Big hips, big heart and will snaffle double figures this week I reckon. Loves cuddles with Lisa too. So cute. To describe Matty B as laconic would be to waste too many syllables on him. One of, if not the most versatile of all Falcons. Has enjoyed the emergence of a settled backline to be part of the forward and occasionally mid-field rotations.
  • S Lebbel: Probably the best French Aussie Rules player I’ve ever seen. Celebrates better when he hits a bloke on the chest rather than when he kicks a goal. Whippet like on the field, star off the field with his multicultural background and banter. Although not sure if he is talking cockney with a French accent or French with a cockney accent. Like Big Jim H, another BP (quiet achiever).
  • B Cummins: Never seen a bloke get away with more throws in my life. Finds the ball all the time and kicked a couple in his first game last time. It would be great if we could all understand him when he talks though. Is making rapid progress developing ability to kick the odd shaped ball as he adapts from the Gaelic footy. Speedy and getting to the ball more often each game.
  • Flippa: Officially the ‘Fossil’ of the Falcons this year. The bloke looks like he could benchpress a rhino and the smile on his face after his running goal from the backline was more than memorable. Another Falcons original, representing the Dingoes before the capital had a team. Tougher than boot leather, survived a motorcycle prang by holding the veins and arteries in his smashed leg together, until able to call wife on the phone and get an ambulance. (People slowed down and then drove off in horror…) The man I want beside me when the chips are down
  • Willy Horndog: The Horndog shows his courage by backing into packs, throwing himself on the ball and just being generally an all round good bloke. Good for some cheap booze too, great contact to have. Wait until his missus gets here and sees him play, he’ll step it up even more on the pitch. Competes with Matty B for chief of the laconic tribe. Solid, dependable back man who makes an impact on every contest and makes any opposition players earn any kick they get.
  • Gareth: His job is to defuse explosives. I wouldn’t mess with him as his kicking style is explosive and he explodes through packs. All round an explosive player. Has missed a few games through being required to save the world at a moments notice. Another from the trenches who you want beside you.
    • Ash: first kick in a Falcons jumper resulted in a roving goal. Will be the youngest player on the field but can play well above his years. I reckon he’s watched the pies GF win more than me. Travels more for training than any other player in the ME-AFL thanks to supportive dad. The only reason dad doesn’t play is so he doesn’t get shown up by Ash. Biggest problem for Ash is being part of a Falcons forward line that doesn’t know the meaning of handballing. Still gets a few goals by cleaning up the spilt pill.
  • Sully: Another of the crossover Gaelic crew. Has been quick to pick up the different skills and combined with his fitness is a big asset to the bench, if not the first 9. Has been the victim of a few big hits, but shrugs them off and motors on. Makes himself available and is becoming a key link man in the mid-field.
  • Dan Brooke: Supercoach. Has taken over the reins from the non-playing Pete Free a recent repatriate. Has dominated every ruck contest as well as playing more like a running mid-fielder in open play. Can take a contested grab, link up, hit a player lace out on a lead and kick a goal. Has played through injury and is now able to show the full range of his talents. A write up like that should see Gus in the team for a while.
  • Gus: Has surprised many by making another comeback after a year off. Foundation member of the Falcons, is motivated by desire to be part of Falcons history and to take the Fossil mantle from Flippa. While slower than a fully laden semi on the Sheikh Zayed Highway, has shown the rare moment of exquisite skill. Last game had the crowd on their feet although attempt to get into the scoring zone was thwarted by errant and extremely comic bounce. Competitive in the ruck and willing to work hard during the few minutes left in him on the field while allowing the real players to have a rest.

About Russell Yule

Indogus is the alter ego of Russell Yule. He has retired more times than actually played games, although is completely retired now in order to live vicariously through his children's sporting proclivities. Given any available space in a conversation, he will regale you with boring stories about his exploits with the Bali Geckos or Abu Dhabi Falcons, of which he is extremely proud.

Comments

  1. Apologies top a few of the boys who are missing. Working on updating the list in near future…

Leave a Comment

*