Round 1: Sydney v St Kilda

Cheyenne spent summer by the sea, determined to read the winds until he received a Season 2010 Sainter vision. Finally, Ross Lyon appeared, hovering above Cheyenne’s tepee. He was sitting in a small canoe, continually bailing out water, a huge smile on his face. Most would have considered his position precarious, but Ross was confidence personified. Until the clash with the Swans last night, Cheyenne was puzzled as to the exact meaning of the vision. It’s all very clear now.

There will be no blowout victories for the Sainters this year – we don’t want easy victories. Every battle will be trench warfare – we want to be tested every week so that by September the Sainters will be a seasoned fighting unit, attuned to winning tight struggles. When we get 3 goals up, we will suffocate our foes, even as we retain possession of the pill, daring them to try ridiculous advances and haymakers.

How the footy battle positions have changed in a few short years. We now have 2 forwards (Nick and Kossie), five backs (Blake, Bakes, Gilberto, Zac and SamFisher) and two ruckmen. The other 13 warriors are midfielders. Three (Milney, Schneider and Porno McQualter) hunt mainly in the forward line, three (BJ, Farren and Grammy) specialise in attacks from the back half, Clint Jones is the lightning-quick tagger supremo, and the other 6 rove the entire battlefield. We love the long kick that creates a throw-in, the endless tackles and spoils that end up with a ball-up

Collingwood can have their easy 6 goal wins, but the fact is that Anthony is a dud trying to impersonate a key forward, Neon Leon is never sighted in finals, Cloke, Fraser and Johnson would have trouble imposing themselves upon a Little League game, and no amount of state of the art spas and shiny gold-plated weights will disract from the fact that they are relying on Big Bad Leroy Brown to cement a top four spot that is virtually guarranteed by their obscenely favourable draw.

Kossie may cop a short holiday, but Cheyenne loved his determination to make a mess wherever he went. Grant Thomas was right all along – he’s our best ruckman by a mile – even if it’s in 5 minute bursts only. Gardiner will slot straight in, and soon the numbers 2, 5 and 15 will be battling hard for 2 spots only.

Keep the heart medicine handy. This is going to be an exciting year, so let’s enjoy the tension.

Cheyenne Autumn

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