Almanac Funny Teams: A colourful team

In my many years of watching footy I’ve seen a few colourful characters. I thought I’d put together team of the best i’ve seen.


B:          B Brown, Fitzroy.                N Brown, Collingwood/St Kilda.            M Brown, West Coast.


H/B:       R Greene, St. Kilda/Hawthorn.        M White, West Coast/Geelong.               R Blew, Essendon.


C:                W Blackwell, Carlton.               J Greening, Collingwood.                      G Brown, Collingwood


H/F:                M Brown, Richmond.               J Brown, Brisbane.                                B Green, Melbourne.


F:                          N Brown, Fitzroy.                                   W Brownless, Geelong.                W Brown, Richmond.


Followers: M Green, Richmond.                      S Black, Brisbane.                         N Brown, Bulldogs/Richmond.


Interchange:        J White, Melbourne/Fremantle.        H Black, St Kilda/Fremantle.       M Browne, Geelong.         P Brown, Geelong


Emergencies: M Greenslade, Richmond.          A Black, North Melbourne/Geelong.          J Green, Brisbane/Essendon.


I did use a bit of literary licence including Russell Blew. Though I was born during his career, I was still in nappies during that period.


Who would fellow Almanackers choose to coach these colourful chaps?






  1. Coach of the Coloured Team :
    Alan “Blue” Jeans
    Bluey Hampshire
    Mal Brown

  2. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Good to see someone working a bit Blew, Glen

    Tom Alvin Purple
    Mauve Keane
    Dillon Viojo-Rainbow
    Peter Pantone

  3. Carole Fabian says

    Matthew Scarlett
    Tyson Goldsack

  4. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Nice one Glen ! Colours of autumn coming out as another season begins. Lots of Browns giving the team an earthy hue.

    Darryl White
    Bob Rose
    Robbie Gray

  5. Mark Duffett says

    Just about enough for a seconds team if nicknames are eligible. Buff Tyrrell

  6. There was a VFL umpire called Don Blew. He sued Norm Smith for defamation for calling him a cheat on radio in 1965.
    Ian “Bluey” Shelton won 2 flags at Essendon (62 & 65). Ian “Bluey” Hampshire Geelong and Footscray). Robbie and Sam Gray (Port). Brady Grey (Fremantle). Dillon Rainbow (Carlton). Toby Pink (Sydney). Luke Lavender (Essendon).

  7. How could i forget the Scarlett father and son combination?


  8. Citrus Bob says

    A bit late but Brian Gray (Collingwood) on the wing for anyone and Lindsay White (Geelong) as the full forward. Greg Brown (Essendon) for a tough man on the back line.
    Sorry Glen to many modern day players who could not hold a candle to some of the blokes I have mentioned. I do hope that is Mal Brown (Richmond) you have mentioned. The most over rated player ever to play in the AFL/VFL. He would be better off in a stable where he might get a kick but not on a football ground.

  9. Anonymous says

    Glen, I know Fred Goldsmith played before your time but I would put Fred Goldsmith at full back instead of Nathan Brown.

    Fred Goldsmith can also be the captain coach, as he was the captain coach for Albury in the Ovens and Murray League from 1960 to 1965, after he finished playing for South Melbourne.

    Mark Browning can go on a half back flank, instead of Russell Blew.

    Todd Goldstein should definitely be selected on the interchange bench. I know Michael Green and Jeff White are good ruckmen but they can both have a rest in the forward pocket or on the bench to give Goldstein a run on the ball.

    In the future, Mason Redmsn from Essendon could find his way into the team as a defender.

    I would also select Campbell Brown on the other half back flank and Russell Greene can go to the wing,.

    Gavin Brown can go to the back pocket instead of M Brown (West Coast).

    Toby Greene should be selected in the forward pocket, instead of N Brown (Fitzroy) or W Brown (Richmond).

  10. Moin Anonymous.

    I can concur with some of those changes. However, with the rucks, Michael Green excelled in the finals/big games. He remains first ruck, with Todd Goldstein replacing Jeff White on the bench.

    Campbell Brown I could add to emergencies; not in my starting team. Ditto T Greene. Norm Brown was a sterling VFL ruckmen, including playing for the Big V, then finished up taking Port Melbourne to 3 VFA flags. Billy Brown was a premiership rover. I don’t particularly rate Greene, at best he’d be in as an emergency.

    I hope this doesn’t cause a BLUE amongst us. Please don’t feel BROWNED off at my questioning of your proposed team changes. Anyhow time to go to work, but later i’ll be back in BLACK.


  11. Anonymous says

    Under the circumstances, I have decided to leave Glen’s colourful team unchanged.

    As there were many suggestions from your fellow Almanackers at the time of other colourful players, I have decided to select a 2nd team.

    This is the 2nd Colourful (Bunt) Team:

    B: Greg Brown (Ess), Matthew Scarlett (Geel), John Scarlett (Geel/Syd)

    HB: Mark Browning (SM), Darryl White (Bris), Campbell Brown (Haw/GC)

    C: Brian Gray (Coll), Bob Rose (Collingwood), Tom Green (GWS)

    HF: Robbie Gray (PA), Ralph Rose (Collingwood), Fred Goldsmith (South M)

    F: Toby Greene (GWS), Lindsay White (Geelong), Tyson Goldsack (Coll)

    R: Todd Goldstein (NM), Kevin Rose (Collingwood), Sam Gray (PA/Syd)

    Inter: Robert Rose (Coll/Foots), Bill Rose (Coll), Brendan Whitecross (Haw), Mason Redman (Ess)

    Captain coach: Bob Rose

    Umpire: Nick Brown (umpired the 2014 AFL Grand Final)

    Goal Umpire: Anthony Black (umpired 7 AFL Grand Finals from 1994-2007 and was made a legend of Grand Final status)

    There will be a match between the 2nd colourful team and the original colourful team named by Glen.

    If I’m totally honest, Glen’s colourful team definitely has more overall talent but the 2nd colourful team will make them fight for every possession. Also, football is a funny game. Nothing can be taken for granted. You never know, Glen’s team could be off colour on the day!

    The match will be played at an oval close to the colourful Botanical Gardens.

    The game will be shown live on colour television.

    Entertainment will be provided by the song “True Colors”, (1986) by Cindy Lauper and highlights of the Drama/Sport film, “The Color of Money” (1986).

    Spectators for this match will be urged to wear their team colours.

    Let’s hope for a game of football that has plenty of colour!

Leave a Comment