Viking strike

Wet-blanket coverage of Euro 2012

Group D

England 1 – 0 Ukraine
Sweden 2 – 0 France

What? What! Zlatan Ibrahimovi? scores one of the best goals of the tournament and puts really dull England (Boo!) top of the group. Even the commentators nodded off in the first half. The best the partisan game commentary could muster was, ‘less than impressive’. Wee Dennis sniped in the studio and heavy-weight boxer head and screaming Ronaldo fan, McAllister softly agreed.

I now see Roy Hodgson’s cunning plan – wear down your opponent by playing the football equivalent of a bed-time story and a lullaby and tucking them into bed for a snooze. Then in the first few minutes of the second half STRIKE like a scorpion, or at least with the devastating curl of Rooney’s implanted cow-lick. It’s a travesty for this group that Sweden did not wake up until last night. It’s a travesty for the tournament that none of the home teams made it out of the group stages. And it’s an utter tragedy that England (Boo! Freedom!) are playing a weakened Italian side. Bias? Me? My only comfort, if they fluke it they will face Germany in the semi-final.

I must confess. Of the France/Sweden game, I’ve only seen the goals in the wee box which appears on the screen and have yet to watch it in full. I may be too sad to manage. I cannot therefore comment except to say, Sacre Bleu! What has happened to the French? 22 games without defeat to stumble against the Scandinavians? Did they really want to play Spain in the semi-final?

So the group stages are over. The gladiatorial rounds begin. For those who made it through, we salute (most of) you…
Here’s the line-up for the coming evenings (more sleep for me too!)
Czech Republic Versus Portugal
Germany Versus Greece (I know, right?)
Spain Versus France
England (Boo!) Versus Italy


Leave a Comment