Tomic the Tank Engine


There are modest champions like Sam Stosur and Pat Rafter, and then there is Bernard Tomic who has done nothing and is a prat. In his second round US Open match Tomic lost to the soon to retire Andy Roddick in straight sets losing the third set 6-0. During the last set John McEnroe who is as incisive as a commentator as he was a player made the observation, “Tomic is teeing it up. It looks like the tank job,”. When these comments were put to Tomic in his press conference by Australian reporter Will Swanton, Tomic responded like a spoilt child and asked for Swanton’s name and media organisation before saying “I’ll remember ya”. Not sure what that was meant to mean, but it would have been good if Swanton replied “I won’t remember you when you are 250 in the World going backwards”.

If Tomic is the future of Australian Men’s Tennis then may Gary Ablett Snr help Tennis Australia as from where I sit the future is not bright in many ways.

The Chairman

Gerard Whateley said it best on Off-siders. “If you are going to waste your talent and everyone else’s time, then don’t play”. He kind of reminds me of Philipoussis. I do like watching train wrecks. The Editor.

In the great tradition of Melbourne and Carlton, Essendon did just enough to make it looked like they wanted to win against Collingwood in the last game of the season. WCE fans were tantalised with hopes of a top 4 position, but eventually crushed by a well timed defeat. Well done Dons. As usual, a great club thinking of the greater good. The Editor


  1. Chair/Ed Do you reckon even Andy Roddick was a little miffed, given that he was keen to drink a squillion beers watching the second week from a triangle in Bermuda? And is Tomic Middle Australia writ large, or the anti-Middle Australia?

  2. Middle Australia says

    John, Fair points you raise. I would say Roddick was expecting to be in Bermuda by now drinking himself into some triangle, hence why he announced his retirement prior to playing Tomic. I think he wanted to have a parallel Mad Monday with the footy codes back here, but was tanked into the third round by Timid Tomic.

    To the Editor and I Tomic is the anti-Middle Australia. Some idiots are marginally tolerable if they perform, but Tomic doesn’t and the grating anathema to us is he doesn’t even try.

    The Chairman

  3. When you choose to compare Tomic with Philipousis it is most unfair on the latter. Philipousis made it to the final of two grand slams, and was largely responsible for 2 Davis Cup victories (1999 & 2003). What would Australian men’s tennis give for those sorts of results these days?

    I don’t think I am drawing too long a bow when I say that maybe it’s that interfering paternal influence which gets punters’ dander up. Not only in tennis, either, ahem.

  4. Andrew Starkie says

    Tomic is a victim of TPS: Tennis parent Syndrome. has had his bum kissed by his dad for his whole life. Needs to sell the yellow beemer, get a real coach (someone who will kick his arse instead of kiss it), get fit, appreciate his talent, have a crack, realise the years pass quickly, and stop wearing singlets to pressers.

    Applaud pat for giving him an earfull.

  5. Andrew Starkie says

    Forgot to mention again his woeful behaviour at LOndon. Disrespectful presser, lazy r1 exit. Grow up, mate.

  6. I was about to give Bernard a slagging for being a lazy slacker wasting his talent, when I realised people spent 20 years telling me much the same.
    Perhaps he can write for the Almanac in middle age?
    We need a tennis correspondent to match what McCardle does for cricket and Crio for the ponies. “Bernie’s Baseline Briefs” has a certain ring to it.
    Bernie and I plan to start up a rival publication “The Slackers Almanac”
    What, JTH already owns the trademark???

  7. Smokie and Andrew S, I agree re. the interfering parent problem. Mark P displayed great form to reach those finals. It’s not new that some parents live vicariously through their children.
    I reckon it is interesting that the parents of both Sampras and Devenport did not even attend Grand Slam finals. They appeared to consider the court the workplace of their adult children and left them to it. Very sensible.
    Maybe Tomic doesn’t even like tennis but isn’t grown up enough to realise it?

  8. Andrew Starkie says

    I write from the perspective of someone who tried every sport in the search to find something he was good at, but failed and therefore, is jealous if anyone who has talent.

  9. Ordinary by Tomic. On and off court. What will he be like if he ever achieves anything? Twice the ability of Lleyton Hewitt but 1/100th the ticker.

  10. Not sure what middle class & anti-middle class means exactly. Apart from the literally obvious. Mrs Wrap in conversation at the hair dressers brought up Julian Assange’s predicament. None of the staff nor the proprietor had heard of him. I sat beside a young chap on a flight back from QLD who was told three times to turn off his phone, which he did until the stewardess moved on. The details of what followed aren’t part of this thread, but the bottom line was that I was told I couldn’t tell him what to do. I got the distinct impression no one could – not without physical enforcement.

    Two points, there’s a generation out there that comprises, in seemingly great number, members who haven’t been any further into the grown-up world than a bunch of celebrity focused & fame seeking TV fabrications based on competitive confrontation as well as US-packaged mental pap based on social dysfunction, extreme violence or feel good inanity.

    The second point being, that there seems little chance that they’ll ever become aware that their philosophy & values are so frighteningly limited, and limiting. To many I’m sure Bernie ‘The Bum’ Tomic is a cult hero – a role model even.

    But before I move too far from the topic of Bernard Tomic; sure, we didn’t like Llil Lleyton’s abrasive, petulant manner, and we loved to serve it up to ‘The Scud’ for his flamboyant life-style, but neither would ever chuck it in the way ‘The Bum’ has on more than one occasion. Although it must be said, he combines ‘The Scuds’ flamboyance and Lleyton’s petulance – so maybe the poor little bugger is a victim of hero worship.

  11. Middle Australia says

    Seems like there is a general consensus that Tomic is a lazy, spoilt child. Rafter’s kick serve was a beauty, but the one he gave Tomic yesterday was even better.

    Banal Bernie’s new nickname should ‘Tomic the Tank Engine’.

    The Chairman

  12. Neale Baker says

    Sadly The Tank Engine represents all that is wrong with the modern world and quite possibly he is responsible for the GFC. Trihard wishes to take the greatest profit for the least outlay, refuses to take responsibility for his actions and then is sneeringly beligerant when called to account. I do wonder what he meant when he said “I’ll remember you” to the journo’ as it is unlikely he would be reading any of his articles.
    However, his father must take a large share of the blame. What father makes his teenage son the sole bread winner for the family? What sort of pressure does that put on a child, especially one without the life skills and maturity to cope?
    Tennis itself must also take some responsibility. It is the only sport that allows parents to be in the spotlight. Watch any telecast and the cameras are forever cutting to the Hewitts or Richard Williams or Yuri Sharapova or Judy Murray for their reaction. Surely this only encourages them to take a greater role in their child’s life than they should. What other job lets your parents come to the office and sit by your desk and watch you work?
    We rarely saw the Rafters and there were 12 of them!

  13. I bet no one ever heard of the fathers of Lew Hoad, Ken Rosewall, Rod Laver, Roy Emerson etc.

  14. Andrew Starkie says

    tennis turns family dynamics upside down. can’t be healthy.

  15. Peter Schumacher says

    I reckon that some of Tomic’s problems have been bought about by some pretty soft puff pieces, I seem to recall one such in the Weekend Oz magazine a few weeks ago. Or at least I think that that was the publication.

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