THE PRE WRAP – ROUND XV

FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN

 

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  The Players v Sepp Demetriou saga rolls on with no end in sight.  If the passion and turn out at Crown the other night is any indication, the Players are in for the long haul.  Words such as fair & equitable, and spirit of goodwill are straight out of the negotiator’s text book.  So are instructed to explore …. the rights and processes available to players under the Fair Work Act to facilitate an agreement being concluded.  Over to you Sepp.  And please try to think of something more sophisticated than “some players were confused and misinformed”.  Gen Y aren’t going to fall for that old divide & conquer line.  In fact no one’s going to fall for it.

But Sepp, your latest little bit of skulduggery – disclosing what the players had asked you to keep confidential – was a slap in the face.  Then to take off on a fortnight’s holiday smacks of the arrogance John Cain displayed when the Tramways Union welded the trams to the tracks down Swanston Street over the Christmas holidays and refused to return from his holidays to take the helm.  Never walk run away from a fight you’ve started.  And believe me mate, you’ve really stirred things up this time.  I don’t think you have any idea how much the long ignored Footy Fans were against your marketing itch of developing the two addition teams in SEQ & Western Sydney.  You really will be lucky to count your friends on the fingers of one hand by the time the dust settles on this one.

And if you really want public sympathy Sepp, here’s a clue. A flat beer, a bottle of soft drink, a soggy fish burgher and a bucket of soggy chips cost s$23.15 at The People’s Ground on a Saturday afternoon.  I can put a three-course meal for four on the table for that.  (That would be BYO though wouldn’t it Wrap? – Ed)  And one that would have you licking your chops for more, not one that leaves you feeling guilty and bloated.

While we’re talking about bodgie administrations, what the heck’s happening in the Gentlemen’s Game?  How can Simon Kattich lose his Saggy Green contract?  Certainly not on performance.   Maybe he’s spoken his mind once too often?  The selectors have been duds every since Andrew Hillditch took over.  Where’s the administrative fortitude to do something about that situation?

With Llittle Lleyton & his actress wife Becs fading to grey, will Bernard Tomic, prove to be the much needed tonic for Aussie Tennis?  Here’s hoping he is.  The game’s boring without someone in the GoldenGreen corner & to barrack for, eh?

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be best on the green sward in Round XV.

The Bulldogs v The Redlegs under cover to open proceedings.  The Dees are on a bit of a roll.  They’ve won three of their last four and Jack Who is killing them.  He’s been on the angry pills and up to now they’ve been working.  They’ve got their foot on the eighth rung of The ladder and look good enough to stay there.  With five wins and a crap percentage, The Scrays look like they could go to the dogs this season.  On paper they’re a game and a half outside The Eight, but in reality they can really only afford to drop one more game with their lowly percentage.  And this is not the one.  Look, they’ll either come out Roaring or they’re not going to come out at all.  They’ve put two together on the trot against Adelaide & The Sunbeams, but neither win was convincing.  The Fuchsias have a sniff, and they played well regain the initiative and to hold off The Tigers last weekend.  The stats tell us The Dees don’t play well at Ethelred Stadium, which may be some consolation for Rocket and his woefully performing and decidedly unsettled charges, but Hearts Are Beating True For The Red & The Blue these days, ours included.  Melbourne.

The Tigers v The Miseries on THOF at the traditional time.  They’ve swung the axe down at Punt Road and Miller, McGuane, Gourdis, Conca & Webberley will all be sitting with the wives & girl friends.  In come Thursfield, Post, King, Griffiths & Helbig.  They’ve also been busy along Royal Parade.  Full back Jamison is unavailable and Armfield, Austin & O’Keefe have been omitted.  In come Waite, White, Laidler & Robinson.  The Tiges were smashed in the ruck last weekend and just couldn’t get a run on from the clearances.  Their attack was lifeless without the presence of The Press-up King.  This at least been rectified, and Jumping Jack will be fired up for this one as well.  They’ve also been woeful down back, and with Kreuzer & Waite in the key forward positions and Gartlett & Fast Eddie flanking them, they won’t get any respite on Saturday.  If The Tiges can get some drive from the midfield, they could make a game of this.  They are truly explosive when they string it together.  But The RattBaggers look to have all the aces around the ground and all the answers in the midfield.  Be prepared for surprizes, but place your money on The Silvertails.

The Barry Crockers v The Metermaids over on Patersons Curse tomorrow.  The Stevedores had to work hard last week against the other Queensland representative and Little Gary’s Suns have been showing they can play the game, however, not for the full 100 minutes.  The Bagmen have The Homeside at $1.09 and it would be our considered advice to put your last nickel on them at that price.  Well considering it’s Flaky Freo, make that your last drachma.  Freo.

The Gilders v The Greatest Team of All on the Shifting Sands tomorrow night.  It can’t be said they’re short of coaches out at Whingy Hill.  They’ve got that one in the front row of the box with the 1,000 yard stare and the one in the 2^nd row wondering what sort of mess he’s got himself into.  Add to that, the advice of every media coach and every armchair coach in the land and they’ve come up with Paddy Ryder, McVeigh and Zacharias in the 1^st ruck, Hillie at CHF and Fletcher at full back.  The Catters are almost back to a full list.  Better get the kiddies to bed early.  This is going to be a bloodbath.  They’re quite old fashioned down there at Sleepy Hollow.  Gun barrel straight in everything they do and always prepared to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.  However, do the dirty on them and there’s no forgiveness.  This is one for your deutschmarks.  Load up and book that Caribbean holiday you’ve been promising yourself.  The Handbags.  And if you want to travel up the front of the plane, take them for The Sweep as well.

The Pride of South Australia v The Sin City Rollers on Saturday night in the City of Churches.  The Chardonnays have axed six and are so desperate they recalled ex-Tiger Tambling.  The Bloods have lost Malcheski & Jack and dropped Everitt & Johnston from the team that troubled Collingwood last round.  The Crows are all over the shop at the moment.  Neil Craig marginally shaded Rocket at the last call of the call for the Coach Most Likely at the Tattersall’s Club and they have the Rabid Adelaide Mob breathing down their neck.  Ironically, if they get a sniff, it will be the same Baying Crowd that could get them over the line.  After all, they’re professional footballers and if they’re going to justify a pay rise, a win against the flow would be the best way to do it.  A loss would be three on the trot for The Tinseltowners, and it’s hard to see the Bloods letting that happen.  Sydney

Brissy v The Chokers up in Beautiful One Bay, Perfect The Next Brisbane.  The loser here will stay in reach of the Coveted Sylvan Shield; the winner risks slipping out of contention.  The Power, to replace Carlisle & Pittard, have brought in a couple of blasts from the past – Salopek & Ebert.  The Lions look far more settled and although they may be a bit weary from the trip to Perth last weekend they look too good on paper with Jonathon Brown in the goalsquare.  The sides are evenly matched and it will be an entertaining match, but we’re saying it will be Brissy that falls off the pace for The Spoon here, and at $1.36, you could invest a few of Bob Brown’s rolled gold guarantees on that being the eventual outcome.  The Roy Boys.

The Woodsmen v The Mayblooms on The Paddock That Grew on Sunday arvo.  This will be a beauty.  It’s without doubt the biggest match of the round The Squawkers have lost another three soldiers – Riolli, Sewell & Lewis – but regain half their forward artillery regiment in Big Gun Buddy.  Will it be enough firepower?  Last week they did it without him.  Last week they were up against a bewildered and listless opponent.  Although it must be said that it’s also bewildering to see Tarrant back at wing half forward instead of down back where he has undoubtedly played his career best Football.  And it’s not as though he’s going to cure Carringbush’s goal kicking woes.  Could it be some shenanigans at the selection table from that wily old Nathan Malthouse?  Both sides are playing great Footy and both have the capacity to gain ascendency.  Holding it is the difficult thing – as The Hawks learnt against the other serious contender for October Glory a couple of weeks back.  You could go on about the merits of each and every one on one contest till the cows came home and not be any nearer a clear cut decision.  The Bloods came at The Pies in the closing stages, but it must be admitted The Maggies left the door wide open with 21 behinds for the day (Plus any number of clean misses – Ed).  Ward Rooney has a sheep weather alert out for the day with a top of 12^oC and plenty of the wet stuff.  This is Kokoda Track weather and will test the hardiest of them.  Look, honestly, we can’t split them.  It’s going to be a low scoring affair and the draw is a likely outcome.  And in a season of indecision by the Football Gods, that’s what we’re going for.  Find out what you’re caring broker will offer on that and take a position with the cigarette money.  You may just get a surprize.

The Shinboners v The Sainters at the Bottom End of The City on Sunday.  Four wins and draw from a dozen outings is hardly worthy of this Moorabbin List.  Contenders over the last two years and now only Brisbane, The Gold Coast, Adelaide and Port Power sit between them and their 27^th Wooden Spoon.  Kossy’s out courtesy of the Star Chamber and they brought back Polo, McQualter, Lynch & Ledger.  Not a lot of encouragement there for TLSJOF.  The Kangas have close to a full list available and are showing some serious form, albeit against a bunch of Cellar Dwellers.  They’re not much of a roughie at $2, but they’ll put the skids under The Feeling Faints with Drew Petrie roosting another lazy six pack.  Nick Riewoldt is sadly out of form and the Roos’ defence won’t give him any respite.  The Gasometer to be rocking down at Arden Street with a win over a pre season Contender.  The Norsemen.

 

The Coasters have the rest before they host The Ladder Leaders next round.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

 

And with racism raising its obnoxious cranium once more we should provide some recent quotes on it here where Life Imitates Football.

I do not accept that there is underlying racism in this country. —John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia (1996-2007) in 2005.

I do not believe that racism is at work in Australia. —Kevin Le Bref, Prime Minister of Australia (2007-2010) in 2010

See the company you’re in Justin?  Although it must be said the response from their Footscray Leadership Group is hopefully a sign of changing times.

A pity the response from Appalling Football League wasn’t as enlighted, although it should be recognized they have more pressing things on their mind at Jellymont House.  The J. Sherman (at the time of writing) will still be allowed to play in the VFL.  Hardly a suspension.  Put these words of Margaret Attwood on your desk calendar for next week Adrian.

I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one ‘race’ – the human race – and that we’re all members of it.