What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  Dean Wallis turned out to be the ratbag Hirdy remembered him as, and seeing as he is probably the only lowly paid coach out at Whingy Hill, his penalty has been relatively light.  But Angry Adrian has said that the Appalling Football League investigators are looking deeper into the matter and that we may not have heard the end of the matter.

But hey, let’s not dwell on a few punts , punts that we all like to take.  This is Showtime and the Fairy Floss is spinning in the drum.  Let’s put in the stick and see what sticks to it.

The Saggy Greens are continuing their monstering of a country that is just pulling itself out of a 30-year civil war and are facing The Saggies minus the spin wizardry of Murali.  Pammy Stosur has won her way into the semi-finals at Flashing Meadows, while over in the Shaky Isles The Wobblies set themselves for Glory.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s likely to be left after Round I of The Final Series 2011.

The Mayblooms v The Handbags on The Big Stage to open proceedings in this the 2nd Qualifying final.  This one’s a toss of the coin.  Either team on their day could win it.  The question that arises about The Moggies is how good were they last week?  Not sure what to make of their demolition of Carringbush.  Did The Maggies chuck in the towel to save themselves for September/October?  Were The Pies just cold on the night?  One thing’s for sure, The Sleepy Hollow Millionaires will know they’re not playing Collingwood tonight.  We could spend ages breakdown down the strengths and weaknesses of each position, but these two sides don’t play like that.  They’re both team oriented and it will be the best team on the night that wins.  The Mustard Pots haven’t rolled The Pivotonians since that fateful September day in 2008.  Have The Hoopers got the wood on The Hawks?  Or is this streak about to he snapped?  We’re saying The Family Club have set themselves for this one and will be just that little bit tougher on the night.  We wouldn’t suggest you put your loose change on it mind you, but that’s what we’re saying around here in The Wrapcave.  However, what we are prepared to say is that, on a night Ward Rooney has issued a sheep weather alert (And they’ll be a few jumbucks off shears about now too – Ed) that there’s going to be some unsociable football going down.  I don’t know that I wouldn’t have thrown Mad Dog Mooney into the fray for this one, and asked of him the supreme sacrifice.  The more Hawks he could have taken with him would have made it easier for his teammates later in the campaign.  Maybe they’re holding him back.  But make no mistake, both teams will be battered and bruised for next week or next fortnight.  We’ll have the mallee roots on top of the pines cones, a fruity merlot beside the dry Tasmanian tasty on the cheese board and the GoldenBrown of The Leafy East at the masthead.  Hawthorn in an absolute bottler.

The Carringbush Magpies v The High Flying Eagles on The Paddock That Grew on Saturday.  This tipping caper doesn’t get any easier.  Were the Magpies foxing last week?  Or have The Collywobbles set in?  They certainly dogged it once the decision was out of their hands.  And in a manner that would have had the Ghosts at the Yarra Falls End stirring in their crypts.  They’ll bounce back, but there’s one or three of them carrying doubts into this encounter.  Heath Shaw, apart from a run with the Arizona Cardinals, hasn’t pulled on a boot for over two months.  Cloke, Johnson and Tazza all limped off last week.  Ben Reid didn’t train today.  Of course, this could all be part of a massive deception and the Pies are really cherry ripe for Saturday.  If this turns out to be the case Mr & Mrs Football would be entitled to call for a Royal Commission and a detailed analysis of the betting tickets on last week’ match as well as this one.  Their opponents on the day have been steadily building form and may have slipped beneath the radar of the eastern pundits.  Nick Nat Nui is capable of anything, and they have big manpower to burn.  They have leg speed and think fast.  Never mind about them having to cross Te Nullarbor.  They’ve been doing it for a few years now and have three pennants flying from the Grand Stand at Fortress Sooby to show for it.  And their coach was involved in all three of them.  We have a feeling Collingwood have had just a few too many distractions over the 2nd half of The Season and may not be as settled as they would like to be.  It’s The Big Birds, Kings of The Big Game for us in a result that will have The Football Universe reeling.  And if you think it’s safe to go back in the water, you could do a lot worse than take a chance, at $450 and with Stephen McBurney the senior maggot, on The Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Sainters v The Lakers under cover Saturday night.  The Seagulls have been playing some well thought through Footy, and when you compare the team sheets, Saint Kilda look far too accomplished for South Melbourne Swans.  But when you’re playing The Bloods your team’s not worth the paper it’s written on.  Another two who are hard to separate, eh?  Look, we’ll go for The Seagulls, and hope Nasty Milne can come good in a final for his old coach Doubtful Thomas.  After all, Doubtful got it wrong about his old mate Dean Wallis didn’t he?

The Miseries v The Marshmallows at The G on Sunday.  This will be a bottler.  It hardly gets any more traditional.  The Rattzbaggers look a bit down on numbers and they hardly inspired last week.  The Bombers didn’t even both to show.  And how much will The Bye have effected them?  The Dons have genuine pace and could easily out run their opponents of the day.  Actually, on their day they are quite the excitement machine.  They’ve been stiff a few times this years, and have suffered dreadfully from injury.  The Blues have also shown they know a bit about the caper.  They’ve fallen short a few times too, and this Essendon Mosquito Fleet is just the sort of team that finds them out.  We’re tipping this one will go into extra time with The Brave Bombers just running out of players.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. With due respect to the spirit of wrap, wrapster, I am of the opinion your first tip is ‘poo’.

  2. Wrapster – a fruity merlot and some tasty Tasmanian on the cheese board. You’ve made me feel peckish.

    Cats by 29
    Pies by 20 odd
    Saints by 3 in a shoot out – not
    Blues by 20 odd

  3. Mr Wrap – your wit, humour and insight is matched only by your good looks (sorry I checked out the 2010 Almanac pic) I meant good nature. Your tips are on the money.
    I fear the weather much more than the Pies. Dry track market (Pies 4/5; Eagles 5/4). Wet track (Pies 1/10; Eagles 10/1). We don’t see much rain over here, and our strength is in the talls – so I can’t see us matching the midfield in the wet. Negates Cox, Natanui, Kennedy, Lynch, Darling. Whatever the result I can see us bashing the Pies up physically wet or dry.
    Was going to tip Hawks but their precision game is not so suited to the wet. Cats by 18.
    Saints by 24. Lyon will negate Goodes influence.
    Blues by 20. If the Bombers jumped them the WoadWobbles might set in, but on disclosed form they are classes above the Bombers.
    GO MARSH AND HUSSEY. GO MITCHELL JOHNSON (back to Brissy in his case). Watching MJ is like waiting for the apples to line up on a fruit machine – you go broke (and crazy) waiting for the payout.
    If Stosur can get over her nerves in the semi against a nobody, she will beat Williams or Wozninooki in the final as she can hit out with nothing to lose. Nerves and expectations are her problems more than her tennis.
    What a weekend!!! Sorry can’t get excited about RU or RL – each to their own.

  4. Back to the Hawthorn of old. A couple of good old thugs in there.

    Number three wont be playing next week if the MRP has any credibility.

  5. As it turned out Phanto, as it turned out. They’re looking pretty darn good. it wasn’t easy out there last night. It never is against The Squawkers. They’ll be without their #23 too. They’re starting to look a bit depleted.

    The Woadwobbles PB? I like it, and all those Sandgropers putting the Bag back in the Saggy Green. And don’t worry, the weather’s picking up.

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