The Middle Australia Report: History does repeat

It looks like the narcissistic Mick Malthouse has achieved his aim of having a powerful Melbourne-based club coach sacked so he can takeover to pamper his ego. Last week when Brett Ratten was under fire for losing to the Gold Coast (other great clubs have done this by the way) instead of offering support for Ratten, Malthouse declares he is available to coach again next season. Where is the so-called brotherhood of the AFL coach? Was that a grenade I heard being lobbed Ratten’s way?

Since Malthouse left Collingwood it has been all about him. His column in The Australian and comments on TV are uninspiring and lack a remarkable amount of insight for someone who has been involved in the game for so long. That’s probably because he has been gazing in the mirror for too long while trimming his schoolmaster moustache.

Malthouse is the most over-rated coach in the AFL and perhaps in VFL/ AFL history. Sure he coached the Eagles to two premierships in the early 90s, but that was with the virtual WA state team. My grandmother could have coached them to four premierships. One Collingwood premiership doesn’t count for much when the draw is biased in their favour and a long road trip is to Etihad.

Carlton have bowed to public pressure and a popularity contest by sacking Ratten today. No doubt Carlton will appoint Malthouse in the next couple of weeks. Carlton should remember there is no such thing as a super coach only a super ego. Remember the Dennis Pagan coup? Pagan was meant to be the messiah, but all he ended up being was a bad coach with a bad curly mullet.

I hope Carlton do appoint Malthouse and I hope they fail as I don’t like either of them.

The Chairman


  1. Andrew Fithall says

    May I correct one error in your article? You state “Since Malthouse left Collingwood it has been all about him.” It was actually “all about him” well before he left Collingwood.


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