The Illustrated Men

Way back in December 1984 i saw a band called Illustrated Men, basically Rose Tattoo devoid of Angry. I was reminiscing about music the other day, great Aussie bands of my youth were back on the radar. It got me thinking; what about a team of illustrated men?

In 2016 tattoos are everywhere but when I was young they weren’t considered a fad. Very few footballers had tattoos in the 1970s. So this is an eclectic side. Players like Kevin Murray who had tattoos long before they were trendy, Dane Swan a walking art piece, chaps like Mickey Gayfer who had one tattoo, courtesy of Collingwood’s 1990 flag. Aaron Edwards whose tattoos reflect his Polynesian family;  the one link is that all chaps here are tattooed.


B: Nathan Jones, Robert McGhie, Mickey Gayfer

H/B: Kevin Murray, Ronnie Andrews, Andrew McLeod

C: Des Headland, Dane Swan, Les Parish 

H/F:Jamie Elliot, Barry Hall, Dustin Martin

F:Aaron Edwards,  Lance Franklin,   Paul Chapman

Foll: Warren Jones,  Graeme Melrose, Lewis Jetta

Inter: Rod Waddell, Dane Beams, Jake King, Michael Walters

Emerg: Kevin Grose, Mitch Clark, Karl Norman

C: Tony Shaw


Jog my memory. Did Brad Plain, ex Essendon, Collingwood, North Melbourne have tattoos? I think he did. Similarly with Graeme Shepherd, former Collingwood player from the 1970’s, was he tattooed ?


I’m stumped for a coach so i picked Tony Shaw !?!!?? Yes he wasn’t much chop as a coach, but he had a Collingwood 1990 premiership tattoo.




  1. A tricky selection quandry, as you say Glen!
    I reckon a single premiership tattoo should be insufficient evidence to make this side.

    Need more that that.
    At least an anchor.
    Or a Jolly Roger.
    Certainly a rose.
    Or a serpent.

  2. I hope Melbourne don’t listen to David Schwarz in regards payment to Jesse Hogan. He is an ex-player so that gives him the right to heap crap on his ex-club in the pretence that he is trying to make them a better club? If Melbourne want to go places, they have to be stern with ex-players and tell them to shut-up and get the hell out of the joint. When players leave it is none of their damned business what the club is currently doing. It is very easy to criticize, so ex-players should butt-out. I don’t support Melbourne, but for too long Melbourne have had the tendency to listen to ex-players with big mouths. I hope they have learnt their lessons and go their own way on any decisions going forward

  3. Fair enough Mr Regnans. Who would you propose at full-back, or as a coach ? Kevin Murray, Captain Coach ?


  4. Glen! I reckon Carlton’s Jim Pender should get a game. Ruck-rover. Or thereabouts.
    For in 1914 not too many would have had:
    ” a large tattoo of a skipping girl in a ballet costume on his left forearm,”

  5. How about Spider Everitt?

    Who was the bloke who played full-forward for Preston in the VFA in the 80’s?
    He spent some time at Fitzroy, possibly? Jamie Shaw, maybe? Memory struggling

  6. Jim Pender ? A tad prior to my time. Did anyone have tattoos between him and Kevin Murray ?

    Smokie, the chap from Preston was Jamie Shaw. He licked 5 for Fitzroy in a match against Geelong. one of his few games for Fitzroy.


  7. If we could nominate players from outside the AFL/VFL then I would include the whole of the Glenroy Football club circa 1981…..teethless too but save it for another article.
    Kevin Murray for coach.

  8. Tony Antrobus Gets the roving gig for mine.

  9. Luke Reynolds says

    Jesse White didn’t get a run in this team. Good to see!

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