The DRS of Life

Vin Maskell wonders if life can ever be like sport


Get poor marks for your homework back in Grade Six?
Consult the DRS.

Sick of your big brother teasing you, your little sister getting her way?
Consult the DRS.

Still smarting over that girl who said No in Year 10?
SMS the DRS.

The milk a bit off the day before the use-by date?
The bananas too ripe, the tomatoes too soft?
Ring the DRS.

Disagree with that parking fine, that speeding ticket, that red-light camera?
Ask for the DRS.

Editor knocked back a story, publisher rejected a book proposal?
Send in the DRS.

Life dealing you a dud hand, life dealing you a good hand?
Text-message for the DRS.

Weather too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, too windy, too still?
Whistle for the DRS.

Roads too straight, too narrow, too dusty, too busy?
Toot for the DRS.

The ball in by a mile, the ball out by a foot, the favourite get done by a good half-length?
Call for the DRS.

Sick of those All Day Sock David Warner advertisements?
Demand the DRS.

Fed up with interest rates, mortgage rates, council rates?
Request a DRS.

Reckon there’s more to life than passwords and user-names?
Log-in and tweet for a DRS.

Jack already of the election campaign and don’t want either party to win anyway?
Vote for a DRS.

Knocked back by St Peter at the Pearly Gates?
Pray for a DRS.

Sinking on a boat between Indonesia and Australia?
Beg for a DRS.

About Vin Maskell

Founder and editor of Stereo Stories, a partner site of The Footy Almanac. Likes a gentle kick of the footy on a Sunday morning, when his back's not playing up. Been known to take a more than keen interest in scoreboards - the older the better.


  1. Brilliant Vin. The DRS is a pimple on the butt cheek of life.

  2. Wonderful, Vin!

  3. Fantastic Vin. Robert Hughes wrote a great book called “Culture of Complaint” about how modern life in the US was locked up in entitlement and legalistic remedies.
    You and the DRS have outdone him!!!
    Reminds me of another great book – Barbara Tuchman’s “The March of Folly”. The Trojan Horse; English in the American War of Independence; Vietnam etc etc. How to turn a mistake into a disaster.
    The only solution to life’s dilemmas is the First Law of Holes – “When you find yourself in one; stop digging.”

  4. Brilliant Vin. You’ve really put DRS into perspective. Personally I would have loved DRS around during most of these scenarios ( though, I wouldn’t want ‘hotspot’ around on matters to do with the ladies!)

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