The Beeaanly Bugle: The Beeaans Go Back-To-Back



The Beeaans Go Back-To-Back!


The impossible happened, not only did The Beeaans win another game, again against The Vipers, their first victims, but they followed it up against a team they had played, and lost to in the past, Make Basketball Great Again. All of a sudden, The Beeaans were sitting at 2-2-1, winning two games, losing two, and having a single draw, a game that was cancelled due to unforeseen state government restrictions.


First up, Vipers Venom, the old rivals, the arch-nemesis. Coming into the matchup, The Beeaans were confident, knowing they had already defeated them in the past, it ignited something inside The Beeaans, and despite the huge out of Skip, there would be no issues in collecting a comfortable 10 point victory. With Skip being out, there would need to be a big step up from the rebounding perspective, and boy was there a huge step up from The Pigwan, who dominated the glass with 16 massive rebounds, also swatting two blocks on his way. This game also happened to land on his birthday, a huge effort from him to mark down a milestone in his life. Another big effort was from the 170cm, 55kg No Ice, who grabbed his career best of nine rebounds.


No Ice, as alluded to before, is not a large man by any stretch of the imagination. He attacks the basket with far too much confidence that a man with his stature, and basketball ability, or lack of, really should. His basketball story is unlike the rest of The Beeaans, while he had no organised basketball experience, his early high school years consisted of hours of playground style basketball, which formed his rim attacking playstyle, that is similar to the play style of Tony Parker. Equipped with a killer crossover, he gets into the paint frequently, that is, however, when it gets bad, as he can’t really finish well at all. He does use his slight frame to exaggerate contact, getting to the free throw line often, but again, he can’t shoot, letting a lot of opportunities to score go begging.


No Ice playing lockdown defence.


The first half of the game against The Vipers was dominated by The Pigwan, as The Beeaans raced out to an early 15 point lead, and as The Pigwan sat down on the bench, The Vipers lessened the lead. While the game stayed relatively close after half time, the last five minutes belonged to one man, Grandpa Bean. With the game in the balance, he stood up, and scored 16 massive points over a five minute stretch, which well and truly put the game safely into our clutches. The game was a tale of two halves, and two men, as The Pigwan and Grandpa Bean were well and truly the two most decisive factors in winning this game.


Grandpa Bean, the elder statesmen of The Beeaans, and the most skilled of the bunch as well, is an elite three point marksmen. He shot from three at a rate of 41.7 percent, the NBA average is 36.7 percent, and he shoots a massive volume of his shots from out there, over 70 percent of his shot attempts were from out there. His play style is very similar to a modern day Hedo Turkoglu, a guard-forward fusion. A weekly occurrence in games is Grandpa Beans pass fakes, on multiple occasions during a game, completely and utterly bamboozling opponents with an overhead fake that sends the defender chasing away for a non-existent pass.


Grandpa Bean flexing the pipes


The other victory, coming against the team that had held The Beeaans to just 13 points earlier on in grading games, was a completely different story, as shots fell, and we just held onto the ball, limiting turnovers, and grabbing a bunch of rebounds as a squad. There is, however, negatives from the game. Lockstock was a victim of the now infamous NBA ‘Zaza Rule’, with an opponent landing under his feet on a jump shot, leaving him with a bad ankle injury that would unfortunately end his summer seasons. The usual suspects led the scoring, as Skip, 10 points, and Grandpa Bean, 11, put in the bulk of the scoring, and No Ice contributed with seven points.


With the end of the summer season approaching, The Beeaans have just three games remaining, with an aim of reaching finals, however that goal was made harder to reach, as the normal top four finals structure was reworked to accommodate for the interrupted season, meaning only the top two would play off. The Beeaans have work to do, but the goal is within reach.


Come back to The Beeaanly Bugle next week, to read about, The Run Home.




To read more of the Beeaanly Bugle by Connor Hoetzel click HERE



The Tigers (Covid) Almanac 2020 will be published in 2021. It will have all the usual features – a game by game account of the Tigers season – and will also include some of the best Almanac writing from the Covid winter.  Pre-order HERE


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  1. A good read, Connor.
    But do you worry that the Bugle is giving away secrets to your opponents?

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