The Ballad of Watto

To the tune of Errol. With apologies to Australian Crawl…

Hit on the pads
He’s out again
He wants to review

Hits the white ball a mile
He never smiles
He wants to bat higher

In the IPL
Gets paid very well
Big fan in Warnie

Has played for three States
Does not discriminate
He bowls medium pace

Oh oh Watto
He will review again
You can depend on it

Had his injuries, calf and back
He did his hammy
Bollywood, Captain Pup,
He was Pup’s deputy

Homework wasn’t done
Suspended for one
Next Test he was leader

Oh oh Watto
He will review again
You can depend on it

Don’t tell me he’s dropped
He don’t wanna hear about it

Don’t tell me he’s dropped
It’s only Afghanistan

Don’t tell me he’s out
He’ll be back for the Lankans

Oh oh Watto
He’ll be back again
Before you know he’s dropped

Oh oh Watto
He would do anything
To bat at three again

About Luke Reynolds

Cricket and Collingwood tragic. Twitter: @crackers134

Comments

  1. Dave Brown says

    Very good! Remember when Watto’s problem was getting out in the 90s?

  2. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Great stuff Luke the irony of Watto has become a national pastime

  3. Great job Luke. Once his career is done I’d love to see how someone like Gideon Haigh will assess him.

    Is it simply that he’s disappointed too often? When batting well he’s as devastating as anyone, and his outswinger is a beauty too. Is his media persona so unlikable?

    I reckon following Watto closely must be a bit like barracking for St Kilda.

  4. Ha, brilliant Luke!

    Has there ever been a bigger whipping boy in Australian cricket?

    How much is Watto to blame? (he’s not a selector is he?)

    He was a monty to score some against SL, just as he was to get carted (and bowl over after over anyway).

    Tell you what though, I wouldn’t mind his bank account. Mrs Watson ain’t too shabby either.

  5. Better than the original.
    Great stuff, Luke!

  6. Marvellous Luke. Thanks for giving me the real lyrics. I could never understand James Reyne.

  7. DBalassone says

    Funny stuff Luke. a couple of points:
    1) Despite all the knockers, I still reckon Watson is in our best XI in all 3 formats. Maybe dropping him to no. 5 in ODI is the key, because if we lose early wickets you need accumulators like Smith and Clarke to re-establish the innings. If we, say lost our first wicket at 150 then perhaps Wato could come in at no. 3. ODI batting orders should always depend on circumstances. No use putting Clarke in if we are 2/250 after 40 overs.
    2) Did you know that James Reyne doesn’t actually sing Errol? Nor does he sing Oh No, Not You Again. A mate told me a few years ago at a barbecue and I thought he was pulling my leg – but when I consulted the history books, lo and behold he was right.

  8. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    The inevitable return of the Great White Dope. Nicely worked Luke and very funny.

  9. Luke Reynolds says

    Cheers Damian, yep Errol and Oh No Not You Again were sung by the late Guy McDonough. With the emergence of M.Marsh and Faulkner Watto has genuine competition for the all rounders spots for probably the first time in his International career.

  10. DBalassone says

    Fair point Luke. Definitely with you on Faulkner – close to the best all rounder in the world at this point. But I reckon Watto is ahead of M.Mitch at the moment. That 67 of 41 was sublime, although granted he was carted with the ball, but so was Johnson. I reckon this Aussie XI below is just about the best x factor team ever:

    Warner
    Finch
    Smith
    Clarke (or Bailey)
    Watson
    Maxwell
    Faulkner
    Haddin
    Johnson
    Starc
    Harris (geez, I wish he was picked in the squad, would have just about been the perfect XI with him in there)

  11. Luke Reynolds says

    Damian, what a pity they couldn’t get Ryan Harris across the line to play in the World Cup. His ODI record is unbelievable. Surely 10 overs, once a week could have been done? Could have been the difference in such a huge tournament.

  12. Gold Oggie, we will put it on the set list !

  13. is there no end to you talent keep up the good writing

  14. Tony robb says

    Oohhh Steven
    I would give everything
    just to be like him

  15. David Chettle says

    Great effort, love to see you write one to the “Boys Light up” classic, maybe England and KP

  16. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    KP was ‘strategically positioned’ in the commentary box

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