The Ashes 2021/22 – Fifth Test, Hobart Day 3: England humiliated again










This could be the last day/night Test if the first two days are any warning. Australia are 3/37 and would still want to put on a sizeable score before either getting out or declaring.


Don’t think that I am a fan of day/nighters after all. My Circadian Rhythms are completely out of whack and I slept to 1.30pm this afternoon. I think the hardest part is trying to go to sleep after a night at the cricket or football for that matter.


The early wicket of Boland (8) caught Billings cutting of Wood and Australia are 4/47.


The Man of Kent takes another catch when Head (8) tries to hook (another one!) and the ball flicks through to him. His fourth catch for the innings and as in the line of great Kent keepers L.E.G. Ames CBE and A.P.E. Knott MBE although he is far from their standards at the moment. Nevertheless, he has kept very competently. Whether he retains his spot in the team in the future is anybody’s guess.


Talk about “happy hookers”. SPD Smith (27) must have read my lines in The Footy Almanac as he goes to hook Wood, gets it in the middle of the bat for Zac Crawley to take yet another catch on the boundary. Australia 6/73 and falling fast. Of all the catches Crawley has taken in this match (5) he has not had to move an inch (or one centimetre) for any of them.  Such is the accuracy of the Australian batters.


Wood has taken all 3 wickets for 12 runs this afternoon while his partner at the other end Stuart Broad has had more appeals than the Red Cross without any luck.


Now is the big chance for Carey to consolidate with the rock-solid Cameron Green. Green’s CV is developing with every experience and today is certainly a big test for him as well as Carey needing runs.


After my earlier criticism of young Green, I have watched him grow like a “Dave Wilson” (Eucalyptus Regnans). He seems to get taller and broader at every appearance and with his batting difficult to move. Without saying too much obviously the next Australian Captain.


Carey continues the hapless happy hooker syndrome but is bowled by Woakes.  Unfortunately for the bowler on inspection it is a no-ball!  Carey is very lucky because if he has a bad fault, it is his ability to get out from very ordinary strokes.


English conditions this session have certainly helped the bowlers who are continually beating the bat but having no luck in securing wickets.


Broad at last gets his wicket when Green (23) goes LBW on DRS from the English camp.  Australia now 7/112 a lead of 227 which is probably more than enough in these conditions. Lord knows how many appeals Broad has made today!


Starc (1) does not last long as Wood gets one to lift and Pope catches. Australia is 8/121 and Mark Wood has had a fine morning taking 4 wickets for 16 with his pace.


Cummins goes next ball but gets a reprieve on DRS. How beneficial will it be?  Carey is still there on 32 and he had one a few runs ago.


One would have thought that Wood did not have 4/20 this morning as his field includes a deep third man, deep fine leg and deep square leg. Obviously, the visitors trying to keep runs to a minimum. They certainly are not out of the game.


At “big break” Australia are 8/141 with Carey 40 and Cummins 12. Wood 5/32 and Broad 2/42 have had a fine period with the ball.


How far will Australia go?  All depends of course but Root has the field spread out for Wood as he resumes the attack.


Carey’s reprieve is reaping a reward as he cuts Wood to the fence for 4. No slips for Wood. This field is “deep” with five men on the boundary. Interestingly that Cummins is not keen to face Wood as they are refusing singles. Wood has got to Cummins today!


Strangely it is Carey (49) who goes with an inside edge to Billings from Stu Broad. He had batted well after his reprieve and a plus for his CV. Australia 9/151.


Don’t know what Captain Pat (13) is up too? Hits a four of Wood and then takes an almighty whoosh bowled All out for 155 a lead of 267. Wood 6/37, Broad 3/51, Woakes 1/40


The big question going the rounds today is “when will the match finish?”  Of course, much will depend on how the English openers contain the bowlers in what are ideal bowling conditions. They have started competently and the runs are trickling along.


Cummins opens from the River End and then swaps to Church End and Crawley hits him for two fours through mid-on. He probably plays that shot better than anyone in cricket today.


The England looking good at the moment and the 50 is posted on the scoreboard that continues to confuse me.


Right on tea Burns (26) plays on to Green and England are 1/61.  Australia needed that wicket as the opening batters had put up their best performance of the series. Green 1/4 and Crawley 32 not out.


The last two sessions of the day have proved havoc for the batting side and it will be interesting to see how England perform.


Well, they don’t start of that well as Malan (10) plays on to Green and England are 2/81 and the youngest player on the ground has 2/17 and heading for the man-of-the-match.


The “Green Machine” strikes again when Crawley (36) pushes at one for Carey to take lowdown. A neat catch.  3/83 and the last session demons have struck again.


Will Regnum Anglorum fight back?  It will be up to these two giants of the game Joe Root and Ben Stokes to take the game away from Australia. If one falls the side will fall. Interesting times.


A goodly crowd in today after what I thought was disappointing yesterday and did not go well for AFL in my humble opinion.


It certainly is all over now as Ben Stokes (5) joins the “hapless happy hookers” club hitting a Starc bouncer to Lyon who takes a fine diving catch at deep square leg. England are 4/92 and you think they would have learned from Australia’s mistakes in the first session of today.


What did Bradman say “don’t hook until your score is 100”.


How unlucky was Joe Root (11) bowled by a grubber from Boland and that certainly is the end of the penny section. England once again will be lucky to get over 200 at 5/101.


They are falling like flies which begs the question where are all the flies this summer? Billings (1) gets one from Boland that sits up on him and he dollies a catch to Captain Pat and England are 6/107.  Make that 7/107 when Pope (5) moves to the off, leaves his leg stump exposed and sees it fall to the ground bowled Cummins. They just keep getting worse and as a good Irish sports journalist friend of mine said a couple of weeks ago “why didn’t they just stay in their hotel for the series?” Right again CM!


Woakes (5) is next to go caught Carey bowled Boland (3/15) and then Wood (11) plays a disgraceful shot at Cummins and is clean bowled. “Disgraceful” in that he made no effort to hang around for the rest of the night.


I am fuming the England “tail” (where does it start?) have made no attempt to stay at the wicket. It was like as soon as Stokes and Root went the game was over. The tail could at least try to hang around aka Trevor Bailey, Geoffrey Boycott, Chris Tavare et al. The whole team should be ashamed of themselves and they certainly have been the most disappointing team to come to our shores since Captain Cook.



Final scores:   Australia 305 & 155 Carey 49, Smith 27, Green 23 Wood 6/37, Broad 3/51, Woakes 1/40 defeated England 115 & 125 Crawley 36, Burns 26 Boland 3/18, Green 3/21, Cummins 3/42, Starc 1/30 by 146 runs.  Player of the Match Travis Head also Player of the Series.



To read more from ‘Citrus’ Bob Utber click HERE.


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About Bob Utber

At 80 years of age Citrus Bob is doing what he wanted to do as a 14 year-old living on the farm at Lang Lang. Talking, writing, watching sport. Now into his third book on sports history he lives in Mildura with his very considerate wife (Jenny ) and a groodle named "Chloe On Flinders". How good is that.


  1. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks for another sterling series this summer CB.

    Do you now have two days to kill down there? Who is touring here next summer?

  2. Citrus Bob says

    SWISH – Yes 2 days to kill. Will chat to locals about AFL and the name for the new Stadium. Think we have run out of adjectives to describe how bad the Pommies were. What a disgrace.

  3. Anyone would think it was Wood’s birthday as he was virtually gifted most of his wickets with Australia’s batsmen falling repeatedly to the three card trick. Just as well our bowlers keep plugging, knowing the Poms will collapse as soon as a wicket or two go. Two big positives for this test were the form of those SA boys, Head and Carey. Head with his fine attacking game and Carey’s improved form behind the stumps and his resolution at the batting crease as wickets fell around him. I don’t honestly know what to make of Warner who had a horrible test, a pair of ducks and dropping a sitter catch. Green had a most impressive series after a slow start, looks like a keeper for some time.

  4. FISHO – None more so than the bowler himself. The batters lack of ball placement helped also straight down the throat of the fieldsman. Mind you I think the Indian and Pakistan quicks would have taken notice for the forthcoming tours.
    Thanks for your comments throughout the series Fisho, much appreciated and you Croweaters are certainly bias. Given his impact I thought Boland was the “ace in the pack”. What a performance by the VICTORIAN!!
    Just for interest our next Australian Captain will be the biggest in size since Warwick “The Big Ship” Armstrong and Port and Crows will not win the premiership this year.

  5. Ho – thanks for the name-check Citrus Bob!
    I have greatly enjoyed your observations of the Test summer.
    To travel and then to write on every day is a magnificent effort in anyone’s language.

    Personally, this summer I saw less than one session live – my annual day of Test cricket fell on Day 3 (Scott Boland day) in Melbourne.

    Very happy to see PJ Cummins lead the team with good grace. Very happy to see UT Khawaja perform well. And very happy to see SM Boland show what can be done with a consistently threatening line, length and seam position. How many catches were dropped from his bowling?

    Man-of-the-series: Citrus Bob

  6. (And two spare days in Hobart – excellent.
    That would be two mornings sat in the Battery Point window of Jackman & McRoss bakery.
    And an evening in the front bar of Battery Point’s Shipwright’s Arms.
    I wonder if GJ Bailey is home at South Hobart Sandy Bay Cricket Club training? (

  7. Colin Ritchie says

    Thanks CB, loved your reports, but would love another two day’s worth but not to be. Really thought the Poms were going to win this match but their capitulation was pitiful, very sad indeed.

  8. Thanks for the reports this summer, Citrus.
    On the money – as always.

    I thought England’s second innings capitulation was an utter disgrace. Absolutely putrid.

    But some of the Australian dismissals were ordinary also. No patience!!

  9. I tuned out of the Ashes after Third Test. England pathetic. Pitches fixed for Aussie quicks (last time we should complain about sub-continent turners). Australian triumphalism grating. Felt like Harlem Globetrotters versus Washington Wizards.
    Love your writing and your passion for the game Citrus. But test cricket has a problem if it only appeals to the rusted-on.

  10. Citrus, humble apologies. I forgot to mention the brilliance of Boland. Three wonderful test matches with his accurate and probing bowling giving him the rewards he so richly deserved. I was also very impressed with his effort as a Night Watchman where he showed much courage. Loved Lyon’s batting in the first innings when he showed his team mates how to hook – go full bore. Then he topped it off with 2 wonderful catches. Bowler friendly pitches sure make for much more interesting test matches rather playing on flat surfaces – there was no time to get bored and I hated having to leave for a quick pee in case I missed something. PS, I actually agree – I don’t think either the Crows or Power will take out the upcoming Flag – perhaps Swish will know.

  11. Thanks CB. Really enjoyed your reports over the series. When was the last time Lyon didn’t bowl in a Test?

  12. Citrus Bob says

    E..REG – humbled by your choice of the Man-Of. I don’t know how they work these out. Surely Green’s support to Head and then opening the door with his bowling would have been more significant in this game than Head’ 100 and you see this in the Big Bash as well. Batting always ore important
    COL -your words “capitulation” and “putrid” excellent
    SMOKIE – likewise to CR “disgrace” and “putrid” on the money
    PB – as usual you have a different take. I agree that the Australian celebrations are over the top. On hpoes that this can be rained in.
    The “rusted on” still have wonderful moments and now it is up to members of ICC. With Kohli resigning as captain and India not the side they were in Oz last year we could see a change that will be beneficial to “red ball”. IPL – on the way out too?
    Many thanks to everyone for their comments. “The game is not the same but it still survives”

  13. Citrus Bob says

    MICKEY – chasing that up. A sign of good captaincy by Captain Pat. My word Lyon is a great field.

    Forgot to mention the curators around the country who did a superb job in the series.
    FISHO – yes Carey and Head were excellent in this game

  14. Daryl Schramm says

    Thanks for your write-ups CBU.
    For what it’s worth, this was my take straight after the match via FB and SMS.

    “Well. That’s freed up another couple of days. Disappointing capitulation by the English this evening. I understand there was no point in coming back tomorrow, but really? Maybe Root’s guzunder was the catalyst”.

    And in response to a response to the above,

    “0/68! I place some of the blame on Burns. I’ll bet had he known what was to follow he would not have played that silly attempt at leaving the ball. It just got too hard for him I reckon.”

    Warner escaped scrutiny as the catalyst for the semozzle in Hobart against SA some years ago. At 3/12 this test it was looking like ‘same again’. Burns first ball of series duck, first innings run out and starting the rot Sunday should be the first focus of enquiry I feel.

  15. SCHRAMMIE – being a bit harsh on the angelic Rory Burns there Dazza! Well lets say he did improve from his first knock and I felt if “if” he had not played on I would have been at the cricket yesterday instead of walking around Hobart Town with the rest of the shell shocked supporters. So once again it was “Burnsieezz” fault!
    IN Burns’ favout he probably was the main reason for the increase in Tasmania’s economy.

  16. Thanks CB. I know you love knocking out these reports and editorials but it still takes an enormous effort to get through a series which is so intense.

    I enjoyed some of the cricket, but there was a lot of disappointing cricket. English selection to start with. England bowling too short. And then bowling too full in HObart and let the Aussies off the hook.

    The wickets were too juicy. But the Australians knew you couldn’t poke and prod. Quick runs were the order of the day. Reminded me of some of the great low-scoring Tests in South Africa over the years when the ball is moving around an experienced batsman knows a quick 70 is gold.

    Thanks again Citrus.

  17. JTH – many thanks for your kind words. Yes, I love my cricket! Disappointments right throughout the series by the English team and/or selector. I have no doubt it was the worst team ever sent from The Old Dart but this bowling attack of Australia would take some beating anywhere in the world cricket scene.

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