Second Test, Pakistan v Australia (Abu Dhabi) – Day 4: Broken

Pakistan 6d/570 (Younis Khan 213, Azhar Ali 109, Misbah-ul-Haq 101)

Australia 261 (MR Marsh 87, Imran Khan 3/60)

Pakistan 3d/293 (Misbah-ul-Haq 101*, Azhar Ali 100*)

Australia 4/143 (SPD Smith 38*, MR Marsh 26*) require a further mountain of runs but really will be lucky to survive for a draw from here.

 

 

“No human thing is of serious importance.”

– Plato

 

Start of play Day 4

Pakistan 2/61 lead by 370 runs with 8 wickets (and 2 days) remaining

 

We’ve been smashed here.

Smashed.

It’s gonna be a clean bloody sweep here, you know?

I know it.

There’s no way on God’s green Earth that we can force a draw.

I know it.

That’s the dispiriting thing.

Yeah.

In the old days, at least you could bet on a fight.

A scrap.

Yeah. Yer AR Border, SR Waugh types.

DC Boon.

Yeah. JL Langer.

There’s none of that now, is there?

Not a cracker.

And we’ve gotta get ‘em out yet.

Bullshit. It’s all about reducing the damage from here.

You’re right. They’ll declare it.

Just keep it tight. Don’t give away easy runs.

You’re right.

 

Jeez.

They’re flying.

They’ve got away.

 

 

Well there’s a turn-up. Younis Khan lost his wicket.

Ahh, he’s human.

Younis Khan lbw SPD Smith 46 (3/152, 43.4 overs)

 

But look at it.

Is that MR Marsh dropping Misbah-ul-Haq second ball?

It is. And look at these next four balls: 6, 6, 4, 6.

Hope that’s not too costly.

And there’s Azhar Ali dropped also.

Brilliant.

 

Last over before lunch now, is it?

There’s yer Misbah-ul-Haq on 49 from 18 balls. The record fifty is off 24.

Here’s MA Starc. Whack.

That’ll do it.

Fastest fifty in Test match history.

It’s a mauling.

 

LUNCH 3/210 (Azhar Ali 72*, Misbah-ul-Haq 52*).

Pakistan lead by 519 with 7 wickets remaining.

 

Hmm.

Pain and suffering.

So now, how do we propose that we reach Eudaimonia?

Ahh, the consolations of philosophy.

Is that GJ Maxwell taking the gloves?

Shite.

There’s the hundred partnership. 64 balls.

My oath.

 

What a total shitestorm this is.

Not weathering it well, are we?

Look at this. This could be an historic over here.

We have Azhar Ali 99, Misbah-ul-Haq 92

These two made tons in the first innings.

They did.

First ball; MA Starc to Misbuh. FOUR. Pulled that wide of mid-on. 96. He’s on 96. A six or four off this ball will be enough to equal IVA Richards for fastest century in Test cricket.

56 balls.

Here we go.

Second ball; MA Starc to Misbah-ul-Haq, FOUR, and he gets it!

Full on off stump. Big swing, nick to third man.

Look what’s being done to us now.

Can you believe the unraveling?

It’s not over.

Like a f*cking runaway train.

Third ball; 1 run to point. Now here’s her Azhar on 99.

Fourth ball; there it is! Now Azhar gets to his hundred. Squeeze out to square leg.

And that’s it.

Pakistan declare it.

3d/293.

That’s a tidy session.

Two batsmen from the same team making twin hundreds in the same Test.

First since Ian and Greg Chappell at Wellington in 1974.

Misbah has equalled Viv Richards with the fastest hundred in Test history, off 56 balls.

Ahh, now we just run down 603 to win.

 

This is a smashing now.

A massacre.

An atomic wedgie.

 

Seriously, this is embarrassing.

There’s still CJL Rogers.

True. And SPD Smith.

But the rest are not up to it.

No. But this is no time to lie down.

Absolutely not.

At least push this until after lunch tomorrow.

It’s all Test experience.

Soak it up.

Show us something.

 

 

Oh, jeez.

He’s gloved that.

Sharp catch at leg slip.

He’s walked.

That’s bloody CJL Rogers.

CJL Rogers c Asad Shafiq b Zulfiqar Babar 2 (1/19, 7.6 overs)

 

That’s made it tough.

It wasn’t tough enough to start with?

Howabout this GJ Maxwell.

Don’t start me.

Ahh, that’s plumb.

Already?

Given not out.

Pakis will review that.

So they should

That’s out.

GJ Maxwell lbw b Zulfiqar Babar 4 (2/31; 11.2 overs)

 

TEA Australia 2/36 (DA Warner 24, MJ Clarke 2)

 

It’s a public flogging.

Righto. They’ve had their pep talk now at the tea break.

Ahh.

He’s played back to that.

Didn’t read the length.

First over back.

Through him.

MJ Clarke b Zulfiqar Babar 5 (3/43; 13.6 overs)

 

Do you reckon we’ll last the day?

Not likely.

Though SPD Smith has twinkle toes.

And a decent temperament.

Don’t know about that DA Warner.

Oh no.

What was he thinking?

You know what he’ll say?

Yep. He’ll say “that’s the way I play.”

Slog-sweeping, when trying to force a draw.

It’s lazy and it’s arrogant.

Caught at point.

All class.

DA Warner c Yasir Shah b Mohammad Hafeez 58 (4/101; 27.4 overs)

 

So now yer MR Marsh can make a name for himself.

He can.

He and SPD Smith, here. A heroic stand.

Yer glass is half full suddenly?

 

This is better.

What, going 8 overs without losing a wicket?

Well…

Well it is, I admit.

How many to come today?

11 more.

And only another 90 tomorrow.

Carn you two!

Eudaimonia approaches.

Out of the gloom.

The phoenix rises.

Can you imagine if they do it?

Brilliant.

 

They’ve made it to stumps.

90 overs to go.

It’s possible.

It is.

 

No.

No. It’s not.

About David Wilson

David Wilson is a writer, editor, flood forecaster and former school teacher. He writes under the name “E.regnans” at The Footy Almanac and has stories in several books. One of his stories was judged as a finalist in the Tasmanian Writers’ Prize 2021. He is married and has two daughters and the four of them all live together with their dog, Pip. He finds playing the guitar a little tricky, but seems to have found a kindred instrument with the ukulele. Favourite tree: Eucalyptus regnans.

Comments

  1. Your commitment to this ongoing farce is to be admired, ER. Hope you’re not torturing the family by watching any of it. Thank God I don’t have Foxtel. Must be rating its socks off in Islamabad.
    I’m with Rulebook, we should have played Moses in this Test. And Isaiah, Ezekiel and any of those other blokes that were a dab hand at miracles.
    “Lamentations” seems the most appropriate Old Testament reference. No disgrace in getting beaten by Pakistan in those conditions, but its the total lack of commitment or interest that is galling.
    “I am a vengeful God…”

  2. “Hope that’s not too costly…” Oops.

  3. Ahh, it’s a fascination that keeps me in, PB.
    Happily we have No Foxtel either.
    Cricinfo online for the black& white news.
    An imaginary front bar for the colour.

    It’s the rolling over that sticks in the craw. And the false comments to media. “Improving”?
    We’ve been creamed.
    Yes, it happens. So acknowledge it, learn from it.
    Pfffff.

    Oops indeed, Smokie.

  4. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks OBP we can only hope they learn from it . The knackery has shown more commitment than the team has in this test match . Pathetic

  5. Contrary to popular thought this will be good for the Aussie cricket team – shortcomings exposed, technique examined, mental capacity tested. All good.

    And who cares about 2 Tests played on a road in a desert?

  6. Yeah Rulebook, it’s not been good.

    I’ve been wondering about that, Dips.
    Why are some Tests “important” while others are not?
    What’s the difference?
    What are the criteria?
    Cricket Australia will presumably want big crowds at Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney this summer.
    But why would a crowd turn up?
    Presumably because they care.

    Yet we are not encouraged to care about this series..?
    Why do we care about some and not about others?

    What is the value of a Test match?

  7. DW – often it is the context that’s crucial. Look at the opponent (struggling to win back respect), the location of the Tests, the result in the whole scheme of the coming summer (irrelevant), and the conditions (also irrelevant to the Aussie summer).

    The best part of this series is the mental test they are being put to – crucial for the future. This is a team in rebuild, so a few hidings and lots of lessons are the keys.

  8. Dips, I’m a fan of life-long learning, but if you’re selected at a Test level, you’re assumed to have already learned quite a few things.
    It’s basic stuff.
    Playing spin on length.
    Running between wickets.
    Setting fields.
    Bowling to plans.

    It’s a cop out to say “they’ll learn from it.”
    That degree of thrashing just shouldn’t happen.
    – (Equal) Fastest Test tin in history conceded.
    – Warner out slogging.
    – Clarke bowled playing back to spin.

  9. Paddy Grindlay says

    Warner’s dismissal was terrible. He plays very quickly but ends his innings even quicker. As he was in form it was disappointing to see him through away his wicket.
    Hopefully Marsh and co. – I doubt Smith will bat for ages – can bat away but my optimism isn’t one to trust, as I am a Tiger fan that saw through the 9-0 phase.
    And, for the record, why are we only seeing the debuts and reincarnations of up-and-coming players on the subcontinent? O’Keefe, Doolan, Marsh, Maxwell, Starc and Hughes as 12th man have all come on tour. Doolan, Marsh and Maxy have only ever played away for Australia.
    Are overseas Tests not important?

  10. On Saturday morning, with Pakistan having declared at 6 for 570, and us having lost a cheap early wicket to be 1 for 22, and so behind by just on 550 and a poor first test behind us, the ABC news bulletin reported that Pakistan “were in a strong position” after the second day.

    Masters of understatement is our Aunty.

    What the hell position are they in now?

  11. In Cape Town in 2011, when Australia were dismissed for 42 by South Africa, Brad Haddin, at 5 for 18, ran at Philander at tried to hit him over cover, falling to a nick to the keeper for a duck.

    Up until this Test, that was the worst shot played at the most innoportune time by a Aussie batsman.

    Haddn can take some solace that at least the idiot shot award has been passed onto the Big Show for his dance down the pitch, when calmer heads were needed, in the first dig.

    What a nong, pillock, idjot, maroon, all-round-stupid-head shot was that Glen?

  12. Luke Reynolds says

    Atomic wedgie indeed.

  13. Never pick Glen Maxwell again.Never.

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