SA’s Lost Video Treasures – Vol 2: BetaMax

 

 

After last week’s find I remembered that other box of tapes that I pinched acquired at the SANFL garage sale held during Footy Park’s recent demolition. I’d never even opened the box until this morning. It was full to the brim of tapes that wouldn’t even fit into my JVC video recorder. Luckily, some old codger called Max had made notes about them. They were mainly documentaries, none of which I’ve ever come across on YouTube. Here they are.

 

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Fellini’s Roma Cinema  Tucked away in a hard to find city laneway (unless you liked steak or pancakes), this tiny arthouse cinema became a haven for the lonely men of Adelaide in the mid-70s. Many of its older clients wore wet weather gear as a precaution against its unreliable fire sprinklers. Fortunately, the signage remaining from its final children’s movie, a showing of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, required only minor alterations once features of a more adult nature commenced. With English subtitles.

 

Are You Being Sanfled? Season 2  More West Lakes retail shenanigans, with the latest additions from the SANFL Licensed Properties Division, namely Russell Ebert disposable trousers (think about it), Bruce Light night lights (for wingmen of a nervous disposition), Leigh Whicker’s spoonerisms (with forewords from Ron Doach, Hindsay Lead and Deanne Lick), Graham Campbell’s X-Lotto predictor (as recommended by Gordon Minchin) and West Torrens Guernseys of the Seventies, volumes 1, 2 & 4.

 

Strike Me Pink  This Stavros Pippos brainchild combined the best bits of snooker and ten pin bowling, using a rack of ten red pins, followed in turn by a rack of six coloured pins. Taped at Hindley Street’s opulent City Bowl, the scoring was explained at the beginning of each episode by Ken Cunningham. Team captains were Miss Michelle (Romper Room) and Cheryl from Winky Dink. This series was eventually cancelled when Ron Kneebone and Bubbles Obst fought out a dull nil-all draw when they were both unable to bend down far enough the get sufficient purchase on the cue and their 14lb Brunswicks faded before reaching halfway down the baize lanes. Also with English subtitles.

 

It’s Epidemic  Sandy Roberts looked at popular but short-lived post-war crazes starting with semi-circular hula hoops, plasticine marbles, strip Red Rover, Rubik’s Cube yo-yos and local government Tazos (anyone out there got a spare Roy Marten that I can swap for a Steve Condous?).

 

Big Pretzel Logic  Steely Dan opened the the 1974 Festival of Arts with their affectionate paean to tassel rotation, Bedazzled g-strings, Nui Dat and bike racks, featuring a young Robyn Archer and her imaginative use of a Roosters scarf.

 

Bannon The Run The 1982 Annual Parliamentary City to Bay Fun Run was the focus of this sporting battle royale. Did Lynn Arnold ever find his Volleys, could Robin Millhouse be persuaded to not go commando this time and was Des Corcoran more than just a lumpy Cliff Young?

 

Saturday Night Le Fevre  Taperoo teen Georgie Fanucchi, a budding back pocket by day, starts out the evening at the North Haven Blue Light Disco, before catching a lift to the Exeter Hotel Beef Steak and Bourbon Club’s bi-monthly dinner dance. After failing to catch the eye of Donna, the girl from the Military Road chicken shop in the tight electric blue (the colour, not the video series) satin pants, he trudges across the salt pans in a futile effort to get across to Globe Derby in time for the last race. Undeterred, he sleeps overnight in the swabbing stall (eluding the geriatric course detectives Pat and Charlie) and is given a lift to Mansfield Park on Sunday afternoon by Brooce, once Brooce finishes his calling duties at the trials. They both settle in for the SAFA Match of the Day (Ferryden Park v Flinders Park), before George realises that he has some homework to do. Features an all-star soundtrack from Andy Upton, Gaynor Bunning, Vitamin Z, Rum Jungle, Stylus and the Bazza Razza Doo Dah Band.

 

Radio Birdman Rally  Adelaide’s young punk scenesters were excited about the upcoming Marryatville Hotel gigs from the biggest thing to come across from Sydney since Abe Allspice. Getting their wires crossed, the parents drove them all to the Glenelg Jetty instead. Much hilarity ensued when the lightly framed Andy V’s Glad garden bag outfit is caught in the offshore breeze and he wins with a jump of 12.4 metres. With the prizemoney, they catch a Suburban cab across town, arriving in time for the final Yeh Hups.

 

A Touch of Decadence  Jayne Walford, morning TV host and Honorary Thai Consul, opened up about her time as an escort nighttime companion to touring international cricketing teams. On a scale of Ray Illingworth to Joel Garner, she rates their nocturnal performances, back when rest days were anything but. Don’t miss her revelations about her steamy nights with Inti, Farookh, Majid and Garfield at her plush Scottie’s Motel suite. And yes, Kiwi Bob did like it both ways. Narration by Bob ‘Up All Night’ Puccetti.

 

All In The Family (details suppressed by the Supreme Court)

 

Hookesy’s Hundred  Followed the young cricketing man about town’s successful attempt to knock up a century before lunch, after which he goes off to play cricket.

 

Wog Ball On Ice  The rarely told story of the  1984 Phillips Soccer League finals which were hurriedly rescheduled to the nearby Thebarton Ice Arena, once Hindmarsh Stadium was commandeered for the Australian Made Concert starring Split Enz, Dragon, The La De Das, Max Merritt, Dave Dobbyn and Jenny Morris. Interviews with Roger Romanowicz, Bugsy Nyskohus, Johnny Perin and Richard Wilkins. Often shown on the same billing as Beach Basketball Bingo, a thrilling ride through the knockout stages of Port Parham’s first and only attempt to host the Basketball World Cup. The SA team of Huba and Geza Nagy, Andy Blicavs, Ken Cole and Werner Linde was sponsored by Angle Vale Hydro and Fodder Supplies.

 

Rollerballey Park  A dashing tale of Kym Bonython’s vain attempt to revolutionise speedway by purchasing a bulk lot of super-very-modifieds from filmmaker Peter Weir and a half dozen of those giant Coca-Cola beach balls. An unfortunate rivalry between visiting American James Caan and feisty locals Phil Herreen and Bill Wigzell saw the Torrens Road venue widely referred to as “the place where the meat wagons gather”. 

 

Honky Tonkin Blues  Overshadowed by Mal Fraser’s night in Memphis, Premier David Tonkin’s lost weekend in Harlem during a “study tour” of the New York red-light districts was the subject of this unseen This Day Tonight expose. Once again, the Adelaide Club got its way, leaving Winnie Pelz fuming.

 

Go Back To Where You Came From  A vibrant panel of former Miss South Australia Beach Girl contestants tracked down superannuated Victorians such as Don Scott, Rod Olsson, Kevin Higgins, John Nicholls and Dick Reynolds and asked them to reflect upon why they just weren’t up to the task of coaching at the game’s highest level. Cherylee Harris (nee Cheryl Pritchard of Para Hills) brought Murray Weideman to tears when she reminded him of Westies’ near miss in 1969 but Dave Darcy stormed out when Jane Reilly brought up his refusal to give Ron Hateley a go at full forward in the last quarter against The Peckers in 1974.

 

The Lemon Aid Rally – Finding itself low on funds, the Parkside-based and unfortunately named Home For Incurables decided to instigate a fund raising car rally. Many of Adelaide’s famed car yards kicked in with free use of one of their production line reconditioned models. Wayne Phillis Ford, Graham Cornes Toyota, Stilwell Ford (thanks Kerls), Brian McGowan Fiat, Ken Eustice Datsun, Bob Moran Mitsubishi, John Cahill Toyota, even Peter Page Holden got in on the act. The whole thing turned to manure when none of the vehicles, which had all started in Colley Terrace at the Bay, made it past Keswick Barracks en route to the Motor Museum at Birdwood. Making no money at all, the HFI tried to raffle off the dud conveyances, modernising its moniker to the D’you Need A Car Centre, but that name didn’t go farr.

 

SA Great’s Battle of the Cover Bands  This weekly show was set to continue Adelaide’s famous run of televised music, carrying on in the tradition of Move, Sounds Unlimited with Steve Curtis, Daisy Day’s Summer Rock and the Dave Woodhall-hosted Rock Arena. However, meddling from the primary sponsor forced the acts to change the lyrics of their popular tunes to versions such as the Bex Whistles’ ‘God Save The Queen (No Fruchocs)’, Johdii Mitchell’s ‘By The Time I Got To Woodroofe’s’, Slim Lusty’s ‘The Pub With No Beerenberg’, The Illegals ‘Amscold As Ice’, David Blowy’s ‘Golden Crumpets’ and Bluegum’s ‘One More Very Exciting Thursday Night In Adelaide”, thus consigning this show to the video bargain bin.

 

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Like last time, let me know if you’ve seen any of these. Even better, give me some suggestions for other SA cultural artifacts that I should track down. Or maybe tell me to stop.

 

Check out the first edition of SA’s Lost Video Treasures HERE

 

More stories from Swish HERE

 

 

 

Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

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About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right

Comments

  1. John Butler says

    Swish, if only SA was as entertaining as your imagination…..

  2. Stop!!! How come I know all these names but can’t remember any of them? This mainlines my tortured night sweats where disconnected memories always end up in the public toilets by the Uni footbridge. Randy Soberts tries the old Two Ronnies gag on Craig Kock. The Strangways Terrace tribute to honey ice cream “Golden North” goes round and round in my head. Rulebook tempting Bobby Gibson to the Parade. Enough. Enough. I need to take a Glen Pill to calm down.

  3. McAlmanac says

    Rockwiz’s James Black will be thrilled with Rum Jungle making an appearance. And highly appropriate that Rubik’s Cube yo-yos make an appearance on It’s Epidemic; my last-ever-episode-we-took-home-the-chocolates teammate David Leske was the fastest Rubik’s Cube in the west (of Adelaide).

  4. Peter_B says

    My money used to be able to stop a good thing. Now I find from my comments that Craig Cock passed last October and the Stranglers keyboardist died last night from CV19. As a mark of respect I will self isolate all Almanac comments for the next 14 days. Regards to Dutts and Donald.

  5. Rulebook says

    Absolute gold,Swish plenty of uniqueness re SA in this ! I admit the George Fiacchi bit is my favourite
    ( George says he has been stalked )

  6. Ian Hauser says

    This is the first I have heard of the death of Craig Cock. In my mind, Cock did one of the most admirable things I saw on the footy field at League level. Sometime in the mid-70s, playing at fullback for South Adelaide, his immediate opponent was the mercurial Sturt full-forward Ken Whelan. ‘Wheels’ was on 97 goals for the season and quickly drilled two to get to 99. A strong mark in front of Cock saw Whelan bring up his ton during the first quarter as Cock, having one of his not so good games, stood the mark. The goal was awarded, the crowd roared its approval and Cock, a true sportsman, immediately went to a Whelan, shook his hand and congratulated him on the achievement. Now that is class!

  7. Gee, I used to love the SAFA Match of the Day and yes, it was always Ferryden Park v Flinders Park. A treat on a rainy Sunday.

    Reading of Sounds Unlimited with Steve Curtis, Daisy Day’s Summer Rock and the Dave Woodhall-hosted Rock Arena made me think of Simulrock (?) from the mid 1980’s when Bill Weaver hosted a hour or so of music videos with the visuals on channel 9 (?) and the music on SA-FM. Very cutting edge.

    Thanks Swish. Devilish fun.

  8. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks one and all for giggling along with me. I feel that my recent videoreal finds have only scratched the surface. Adelaide, like Twin Peaks but with coffee and cake from Cibo.

  9. I have in my personal possession, an original, personally signed 33rpm LP recording titled John Vincent and Celsius 69 Live at the Findon – “Presenting the Ken Noath Ockerstra”, live and in person no less!!! Awaiting your review. Might be the only piece of talent you have omitted from this very fine collection!

    Otherwise an excellent memoir, although who could forget Jaye Walton and Sir Les on A Touch of Elephants? I could go on, but think you have covered much of the available subject very well.

  10. Mark Duffett says

    Having had my innocent eyes opened to A Touch of Decadence, I’m now wondering about other goings on in the establishment by the river in Gilberton. Anyone called Rock Wallaby would have to have gone on to star billing at Fellini’s Roma Cinema, surely.

  11. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Vinnie was the lead singer for the Bex Whistles Bucko.

    Wilbur Worm had Rock Wallaby covered in that department Mark.

  12. “he trudges across the salt pans in a futile effort to get across to Globe Derby in time for the last race.” Outstanding.

  13. Luke Reynolds says

    Further evidence that we need to keep the border shut.

    Well played again Swish.

  14. Dave Brown says

    Remember when I used to do that “more South Australian than…” thing on a podcast Swish? Well, it’s not possible to get more South Australian than this. Great stuff!

  15. Bluegum. I guess that’s close enough.

    Redgum did name check “Rum Jungle” in “Servin USA”.

  16. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks once more. Just when I think I’ve flogged the horse well past its demise, I get another flashback. Keith Martyn’s Footy Almanac, now there’s another promising lead.

  17. Crease the Musical. Lionel Williams hasn’t had a gig yet. Ian Fairweather. Mike Peterson. Nosmo King. Surely there must be another box somewhere. Buried in the vaults at Snowtown? Keep digging.

  18. Daryl Schramm says

    Ab Fab Shwish. Very funny. Very clever. Very us. I did a couple of those SAFA matches at The Oval in ’78. Exciting times that didn’t last. That Deanne Lick reference hilarious. I’m surprised C . . t Kenningham didn’t get a mention.

  19. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Fluff got a look in in the first part PB

    Strike me pink DS. I’m to understand that Adelaide has changed significantly since I moved east, but I was reminded that Dane Joyle is still on the box. Not so sure about Prank Fangallo.

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