Round 9 – Collingwood v Hawthorn: Penalty Units – For the Floreat Pica Society by Doug Wilson


Pies vs Hawks

20 May 2017


Both teams’ supporters entered the MCG on a pleasant Saturday night thinking that their team had a great chance to notch a win. We hadn’t beaten Hawthorn since the 2011 prelim in the second last game of the great Coach Transition Period. However there was some confidence to be had from their long injury list and our almost win in the last round of 2016. Better (worse?) the 38 or so betting agencies had installed the Pies as the overwhelming favourite.


So the game began after a brief but moving tribute to Lou. The Hawks’ 2017 version of Mitchell, Tom started where the last one left off and both teams were playing direct-ish football but the Hawks were better at it. When the deficit became 3 goals and we hadn’t scored we seemed to dump directness in favour of cross ground kicking. Well that didn’t work did it and the crowd showed its disdain with open booing of the tactic. Turnovers then cost us another 3 goals. One was from a dreadful grubber by Maynard out of the goal square that ended up back over his and the goal umpire’s head. He has special talent and ability to be in both the best and worst plays of the same game. Special mention to Jamie Elliot’s OOTF set shot with the last kick of the quarter.


So it was 0.1 to 6.1 We had at least won the tackles but I remember Kevin Bartlett saying that you can only tackle when the other team has the ball.


The second quarter started after a sizeable Buckley spray. 50% of the crowd and probably 25% of the Hawk supporters hoped it would lead to a change in tactics and a better looking game. Boy it is frustrating watching keepings-off football intermixed with rugby mauls.


Let’s hope that it was the coaching that caused the change. If our kicking for goal had been a little better we could have decreased the deficit more than the 2 points. Mitchell, Tom continued to rack up possessions but Frank and I are saying that he is invisible compared to Pendlebury’s influence. The other thing we are saying is that the loss of Reid is telling. That was just before Schade was easily bumped off the ball by the 10kg lighter Sicily for a Hawk goal.

Half time 4.6 to 10.4


The Premiership Quarter starts well and amazingly the scores are level at ¾ time. Pendlebury just marches on, Adams is hitting his targets for a change, Jamie is looking dangerous and Howe and Smith are rebounding well in maybe Smith’s best game. The intercepts are coming because Hawthorn is now being pressured with every possession. Inside 50’s are pretty even for this quarter but we are scoring from them, they aren’t. The selflessness of the team is shown especially by James Aish who will miss a few by putting the team and his cheek bone first in a contest.

¾ time 9.11.65 to 10.5.65


So to the last quarter with the game there to be won. The momentum was with the Pies but the first goal is to the Hawks. Then Jamie’s 3rd and their first to each of Pendles, Sidey and Josh Smith gives the last half and the game to the Pies, the hungriest team when it was there to win.

Full time 13.12.90 to 11.6.72


Mitchell, Tom had 50 possessions but I can see why he wasn’t tagged. Our midfielders were collectively much better so I looked for a possible reason in the stats eg metres gained:

Pendlebury 691 from 36 possessions

Adams 516 from 33

Treloar 336 from 34

Sidebottom 335 from 27

Mitchell had 50 possessions but gained 309 metres for his team.


The votes for the Jonathan Ceglar rough ended pineapple award are: 

3 Pendlebury – enough said

2 Adams – huge in and under grunt and this week he hit targets

1 Howe – Howe good is this guy and when Reid is in we have 2 who can play either end.


Now for a burning question from Frank and I:

Is it worth jumping the fence to remonstrate with Luke Hodge or that brute number 34 from NZ when he’s “jumper punching” our Pendles?


The fine is $9367.60 which I understand is 60 statutory Penalty Units inc GST. So I’ve worked out that a Penalty Unit is not equal to the cost of a round of MCG mid strength beers – yet, but why is it such an odd amount: $141.9333333 + GST? Something to contemplate while we look forward to Lions’ blood next Sunday


Floreat Pica


  1. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Great report Doug.
    Maynard and Adams personify the character of this Collingwood outfit. When they are good they are great, when they are bad they’re bloody awful. You can throw Crisp, Fasolo and Greenwood into that bracket too.

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