Round 6 – Gold Coast v Brisbane: Ich bin Ein Q-Clash

 

 

Gold Coast v Brisbane

4:10pm, Sunday April 24

Metricon Stadium

 

 

Ali – Frazier
Borg – McEnroe
Kirk – Khan
Kent – Luthor
Lions – Suns?

 

 

‘The level of achievement is defined by the measure of one’s vanquished adversary…’ (i)

 

 

The highly coveted, prestige Sunday afternoon twilight fixture between a winning but underwhelming big brother Lions and a suddenly predictably dour and dogged Suns team, what more could one ask for?

 

 

The family Reid finally spent some time in Queensland to start the Easter holidays last week. We were originally booked in for 2020 but Covid-19 lockdowns led to quite a few postponements. In short, we saw the ‘Worlds,’ both ‘Movie’ and ‘Sea’ – swam at Surfers Paradise (even in April the water was warmer than what some kettles can produce in Victoria) and were four of the many who last week witnessed our Lions hang on against a valiant Collingwood.

 

 

Therefore, this clash against the Suns loomed a little larger than normal. Even though we were only in Queensland for a week, I can now say – ‘Ich bin ein’ to potential early retiree, One Nation voters.

 

 

The weather forecast was for rain in Carrara, but it was genuinely cold in Traralgon. So cold, that even sitting inside on the couch, a Lions beanie was necessary and not just affectation.

 

 

The game begins with Joe Daniher snapping a miraculous goal for a big bloke out of congestion. Realising that the goal celebration songs are something that only happen at Lions’ home games, my youngest daughter stands in the middle of our lounge room:

 

 

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go

 

 

In a further sign of respect to our talisman, the Suns have assigned Sam Collins, a player who looks freakishly just like big Joe, to play on him. So much so a close-up on a frustrated Collins confuses her mid song – ‘I thought he just kicked a goal?’

 

‘Nah, that’s not Joe sweetie, that’s his opponent’

 

She narrows her eyebrows, ‘Dad, are you completely sure?’. She’s got me there. I guess it’s possible. I’m a believer in the theory that Harry and Ben McKay are the exact same person, with Harry having created the name ‘Ben’ and the so-called AFL team ‘North Melbourne’ as a ruse for extra match practice. That’s perhaps harsh, it was not long ago that we Lions were struggling as North are now – it is always darkest just before the dawn.

 

 

The clashes between the Queensland teams haven’t quite established themselves like the WA Derbies – or is that daahhbies? – and the SA Showdowns. Nor for that matter, the ‘Battle of the bridge’ in Sydney. Foxtel, through my humble working man’s medium of Kayo, are trying though. A graphic ‘Q-Clash 22’ logo fills the screen at every opportunity.

 

 

A few things seem to click for the Lions. Linc draws a free kick and his entry into forward 50 finds Zac ‘Boyband’ Bailey for a classy goal, Boyband quickly finds the goals again straight after, he seems to be personally wanting to make amends for Brisbane’s sluggish starts this year. ‘Boyband’ isn’t really his nickname, but like the AFL with ‘QClash,’ I am trying to establish something into the nation’s psyche. McStay marks and goals. He has clearly been watching Tom Hawkins in 2022, proves the ancient proverb that a push in the back is only a push in the back when an umpire calls it a push in the back.

 

 

The rain starts to fall in the second quarter. Jarrod Berry, who is doggedly resisting the ubiquitous Dustin Martin mullet haircuts that are becoming pandemic amongst young men, leads out for a mark and goal in the wet. His aesthetic is more Rambo or William Wallace from Braveheart. The Lions kick away, mainly through Boyband, but Mabior Chol and Morwell’s own Ben Ainsworth keep the Suns’ flame flickering. Metricon has been a cursed stadium for the Lions recently; Cam Rayner did his ACL before the season last year on this very ground and ominously, Kai Lohman who debuted only last week, is carried to the rooms in the second quarter.

 

 

I explained the number ’23’ to my daughter this week. It’s not that we’ve been keeping it from her, she is fully numerate and knew of its existence in a mathematical. I just meant in deeper sporting terms. She knows now that someone who wears that number is someone who willingly takes on the burden of being their team’s icon. Think Michael Jordan, Shane Warne, Buddy Franklin. For us, that man is Charlie Cameron. He had been quiet in the first half but had the sort of third quarter that should give Lions fans a flicker of hope that we may be more than just cannon fodder for Melbourne this year. While today he is just the support act for ‘Boyband'(ii) Bailey, he does enough in the second half to keep his eye in for the rest of the season. He does enough in the third quarter to inspire my youngest to look up from her Nintendo and star singing, like a seasoned Gabba Lions fan…

 

Country roads, take me home, to the place, I belong…

 

‘Dad, can we go back to Queensland one day?’

 

 

Overall, it is our most complete performance for 2022. There is a bit of boot filling in the second half – Joey finds a few goals, Lachie piles up some touches after a quiet start. It may be cold comfort, but there are fifty-point losses and fifty-point losses. There is a lot to like about the Suns. They didn’t down tools and look to be made of sterner stuff in 2022 than the footy world may be used to. This rivalry, whatever it’s called, is a matter of ‘when’ and not ‘if’.

 

---

 

(i) I just made this up, but it sounds a little bit like an ancient proverb doesn’t it?
(ii) Someone from my generation shouldn’t know who Regina George is, but I feel like she would be caustically telling me about now to ‘stop trying to make Boyband happen’

 

 

 

GOLD COAST    2.4    4.10    7.12    11.14 (80)
BRISBANE        5.1     9.3     14.4    21.6 (132)

 

GOALS  
Gold Coast: Casboult 3, Holman 3, Ainsworth, Chol, Markov, Miller, Swallow
Brisbane: Bailey 6, Cameron 4, Daniher 3, Berry, Fort, Lyons, McCarthy, McStay, Neale, Prior, Fort

 

BEST 
Gold Coast: Collins, Rowell, Ainsworth, Swallow, Holman
Brisbane: Bailey, Lyons, Starcevich, McCluggage, Andrews

 

 

 

To return to the www.footyalmanac.com.au  home page click HERE

 

 

Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

 

Do you enjoy the Almanac concept?
And want to ensure it continues in its current form, and better? To help keep things ticking over please consider making your own contribution.

 

Become an Almanac (annual) member – CLICK HERE

One-off financial contribution – CLICK HERE

Regular financial contribution (monthly EFT) – CLICK HERE