Round 4 – Collingwood v St Kilda: Docklands Disorientation

Wasn’t there a stairway down to the street just here near Gate 1? I can’t find it. Have to turn around and rejoin the masses heading out over the walkway back to the city. Etihad Stadium will do that to you. I just want to get out of here, back to the car, go home. Is the Coventry End the Northern or Southern End? The stands all look the same. The players seemed to share my disorientation today.


Emily and Josh with their Dad before the game


My nearly 7 year old son Josh has been waiting for today. For a long time. His hero hasn’t played since 2015 due to a serious back injury. Jamie Elliott is back in the team. Josh and I spent Saturday evening watching a recording of Collingwood’s VFL victory over Coburg. Plenty to get excited about. Josh Daicos, the son of my childhood hero, gathers 20 classy possessions and kicks two nice goals. I’m trying not to hype him up too much. Trying not to get too excited. I may already be losing that battle….


Josh Reynolds with his Jamie Elliott badge


There’s a group of 10 of us at Etihad today. Smithy, Jacqui, my kids cousins Isaac and Levi, Mrs R’s Mum and my family of five. Mrs R and her Mum are Saints. The rest of us Pies. I took my two boys and their two cousins to a game at the MCG last season on my own. Much less stress with four other adults with you.


Before the game I venture six bays over for a quick hello to Ian and Barb, who are with Ian’s brother Brian. Good Collingwood people. As I walk up their aisle, I spot Almanacker Yvette Wroby sitting right behind them. Looking as red, white and black as always. Good to chat to Yvette. Easter is a busy time for Ian and Barb, running the ‘Music by the Lake’ Good Friday charity event at Lake Purrumbete for several years now. This years event raised over $3500 for the Royal Children’s Hospital. Always has a great lineup of musicians. Including Ian himself. His country tunes have charted in Europe, with his song “Every Second Every Minute” topping the charts in The Netherlands four years ago.


Fasolo kicks our first, Smithy and I tip a big day for Fasy boy. An early goal often sees him kick a few, while an early miss regularly sees an inaccurate day in front of goal for him. But it’s another first quarter where Collingwood have most of the play but miss several chances at goal. 2 goals, 6 points. Elliott marks and has a shot from 40 out. A goal would have brought the house down. He misses. The second quarter sees St Kilda dominate, and it’s their turn to miss goals. While we miss targets. St Kilda lead by a goal at half time.


St Kilda start to edge away in the third quarter. They kick 4 goals to 2. Both sides are making mistakes. It’s a horrible game to watch. The main difference between the teams is that Collingwood are just that bit more horrible than St Kilda.


Collingwood play a bit better and almost challenge in the last quarter. But St Kilda do enough to get over the line. It’s somewhat of a relief when the siren blows. I cannot recall attending a game as bad as this. The fumbling, kicking errors, dropped marks. In pristine indoor conditions.


Some Collingwood thoughts:


One of Ben Reid or Jeremy Howe needs to play forward and support Darcy Moore. I’d go with Reid, and bring in Lynden Dunn or Lachlan Keefe to play down back.


The Jesse White experiment needs to end. Not a good enough mark or presence up forward, offers little as a second ruck.


Jarryd Blair was done as an AFL footballer in 2016. While he tries and often gets into good positions in the forward line, his lack of pace and height sees him easily contested. So why the %[email protected]# do we keep kicking it to him? Thanks for your service and for 2010. Time to go back and be a leader at VFL level for the rest of the season.


Was disappointed Taylor Adams got listed as our best player in most media outlets. Was wonderful last week against Sydney and while he got plenty of the ball, his disposal was appalling, turning the ball over on many occasions and making poor decisions, putting teammates under pressure. Treloar is in the same boat. Blistering pace, no problems finding the ball, woeful disposal. Need huge improvement with his foot skills and decision making before he can be considered elite.


Crisp probably played his worst game in black & white.


Pendlebury, Sidebottom and Varcoe are by far our best ball users. Watched Pendles closely and while the club is saying he is fully fit, he didn’t look it on Sunday, was clearly labouring and lacking a yard of pace.


Brodie Grundy is right up there in the top few ruckmen in the AFL.


Tyson Goldsack has rejuvenated his career and playing nearly career best footy.


Please don’t rush Josh Daicos into the team before he’s ready.


The booing and bronx cheers of Darcy Moore by some of our “fans” was disgraceful. Sure, he dropped a couple of marks he should have taken and is clearly lacking confidence. But he’s a raw kid still developing. Who has mostly shocking delivery to him plus the opposition’s best key defender, and quite often a second defender up against him in a contest. If he deserves your boos, get stuck into Adams, Treloar and Crisp for their poor kicking. Or just get behind the players…


Well done St Kilda. Riewoldt and Montagna are still very good players. Roberton and Geary play fantastic games. Bruce is a really good young player.


We find the staircase on the walkway that leads back to Bourke St. Then back to the car. The good thing about Etihad is it’s a quick escape back to the West Gate Bridge and on to home. I’m not real chatty on the return journey.


Back to the beautiful MCG next week. Go Pies.


COLLINGWOOD 2.6 3.7 5.8 7.13 (55)
ST KILDA 1.3 4.7 8.12 9.15 (69)

Collingwood: Hoskin-Elliott 2, Fasolo, Crisp, White, Blair, Schade
St Kilda: Bruce 2, Membrey 2, Montagna, Gresham, Riewoldt, Acres, Billings

Collingwood: Grundy, Howe, Reid, Goldsack, Schade, Sidebottom
St Kilda: Roberton, Geary, Ross, Billings, Newnes, Steele

Umpires: Nicholls, Hay, McInerney

Official crowd: 36,650 at Etihad Stadium


Malarkey Medal Votes:
3. Roberton (St K)
2. Geary (St K)
1. Grundy (Coll)


About Luke Reynolds

Cricket and Collingwood tragic. Twitter: @crackers134


  1. bob.speechley says

    Like your critique of Magpie players. I will pass your summary to my wife – AKA “The Mad Magpie” – who was really deflated after their performance at Etihad against the Saints. Although I’ve been to dozens of games at Etihad I was completely lost leaving the ground last week and it took ages, and a tram trip to re-orientate.

  2. Neil Anderson says

    The scene was set for a great day out at the footy. With close family, extended family and even spotting a stray Almanacker wearing red, white and black. What could possibly go wrong. The Pies losing after being so good the week before is the answer.
    Until last year, I checked the fixture to see if the Bulldogs were likely to win before I made the trip from the Western District to see them play.
    The drive back home after a loss is the worst few hours for a diehard supporter. You can’t even enjoy the radio wrap-up and by the time I pass through your Pomborneit, there’s a big black cloud hanging over me. By the way, I heard Greg Champion praising his fans from Pomborneit a couple of weeks ago. Maybe it was a fan and maybe it was you.
    There will be lots of upsets to come and I hope it doesn’t happen on Saturday when the Dogs play the Lions on Bob Murphy’s 300th. I’ll be catching the train for this one and hopefully it will be a joyous trip home.

  3. A disappointing loss for Magpies supporters, Crackers, that’s for sure.
    But as a neutral supporter who tipped the Saints, it wasn’t all that surprising. And if the Saints had kicked straight it would have been a bigger win to them.
    The Magpies’ forward line looks incohesive. I cannot believe supporters were booing Darcy Moore – he is still learning the game, and does not yet have the physique.
    For what it’s worth, I would leave Howe down back – he has been a success story since his move from Melbourne, and looks at ease down there. And I agree – I would move Jessie White on – he is no good, mate.

  4. Luke Reynolds says

    Bob- deflated is a great way to describe the feeling for a Pies fan after that game. Hope The Mad Magpie, and the rest of us, are much more cheerful after next week’s game.

    Neil- the script writers got Sunday terribly wrong! Champs has mentioned Pomborneit a few times the past couple of years, has said he’d like to live in Pomborneit North as Pomborneit is too busy for him!

    Smokie- I shouldn’t have been surprised. The Darcy Moore booing was terrible and casts a section of our fans in a very poor light indeed. Agreed with leaving Howe down back, he’s been fantastic in defence. Reid is the man I’d push forward.

  5. DBalassone says

    Agreed Luke. Would hate to see Daicos blooded too early. Surely, they won’t? Speaking of being fed to the wolves, gosh I feel for Moore. Cloke should have been standing nearby and taking the biggest & best defender and thus freeing up Moore. Who cares if Cloke was quiet or kicked 1.3, as long as he was around doing hack work and taking the occasional grab. Surely he was better option than White, Cox, Keefe, etc.

  6. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Can’t believe I fell for the trap of picking the Pies.

    The Jesse White Experiment – not sure that I’ve heard any of their stuff.

    I’d offload Fasolo back to Freo, never seems to put together more than a half a game.

    Lockett End is the Latrobe St end – remember the Ls Luke

  7. Poor kiddies! :(

  8. Luke Reynolds says

    Damian- surely they won’t play Daicos yet. I hope. Cloke would have made Moore’s life far easier this year than White & Co.

    Swish- you wouldn’t have heard the work of The Jesse White Experiment- just a very average cover band.
    I’ll keep the Ls in mind.

  9. Luke Reynolds says

    Danni- poor kiddies indeed. They’re not wavering in their Magpie belief. Been well taught.

  10. Luke how was Mrs R as the winner in the family internal game much gloating ? Collingwood yet again appalling kicking for goal should have been 4 gls up at q time and it’s a different ball game.
    Now you as a fellow cricket nut would remember the 11th commandment,Dowe shall not bowl from the West Indies spectators when,Stacey was taking,Uton Dowe to the cleaners surely the pies can brung in
    thou shall have Blair and White play reserve games only unless a injury crisis occurs and they are the only players left to play.James Aish should not have played round 1 he was far more ill than was revealed its time now to play him and make proper use of his elite footy brain and Grundy is a gun thanks Luke
    ( surely the 11th commandment I can work in to a Chaplin sledge ? )

  11. John Butler says

    Pies have too many dud kicks, Luke. Had too many last year, still have too many. I’m perplexed by much of the recruiting. And that’s coming from a Blues supporter!

    Buckley and Eddie in an increasingly tight corner. But one thing the team has shown over the last few years is a level of resilience. I wouldn’t write ANZAC day off by any means.


  12. Punxsu and the rest of Peter says

    Super read Luke. Hope you sort out them mongrels Bronx cheering the kid of a magpie legend

  13. The Magpies seem to have to play with manic intensity (as against Sydney) to get a win. Can’t do that every week. But Anzac Day seems to always bring out the underdog.
    Out with the Jesse White Experiment? Bring back the 10,000 Mayneiacs?? I need the laughs.
    Is James Aish Rulebook’s love child?

  14. Luke Reynolds says

    Rulebook- Mrs R watches far more Collingwood games than St Kilda games these days, so minimal gloating.
    Maybe you could do the 11 Chaplin commandments?

    JB- The dud kickers make us almost unbearable fto watch. Some of them are on very good coin too.

    Thank Peter Z. They need sorting out!

    Peter B- yeah Mayne…We only have him for 3 more years after this.
    In answer to your final question- undoubtedly yes!

  15. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Great report Luke,
    It felt like deja vu re the corresponding game against the Saints last year. Same press too far game style, a conga line of clangers and Jesse White and Blair still playing AFL. Get Clarko !! I say…now!!

  16. PB having seen James Aish debut as a 16 year old for the legs and the role he played in our 13 and 14 flags and then his 1st year for Brisbane I thought his last part of 2016 showed imo he was going to arrive as a genuine Afl player in 17 illness has not helped so far and yes I am a massive James Aish fan the last name is Norwood royalty to put it mildly

  17. Mathilde de Hauteclocque says

    Up here in Sydney, we threw out our Jesse White Experiment cassette years ago. You guys should too. It won’t even be good for a few retro dance tracks in the years to come. I schadenfreud (see Trucker’s piece) every time I see him grab a mark in an awkward spot and miss a kick.

    Your kiddies are too cute for Collingwood, Luke!

  18. Excellent content. Many thanks!

  19. A family affair, nice one Luke.
    Good to see you toughening up your offspring like that, none of this namby-pamby millennial parenting or can’t do no wrong parlarva.
    As a pies supporter I too had toughened up my oldest in the late 90’s & early 2000’s! It’s a religious experience and apparently one needs to suffer in order to appreciate: Are we going to do some appreciating & so too your children.

    Unlike children of say Carlton supporting parents we don’t have to worry about having a child protection notification for “abuse by exposure” to poor footy experiences.
    Cute pics, who’s the older male?

    Go Pies

  20. Luke Reynolds says

    Rulebook- Aish had a fantastic second half of 2016. Look forward to him getting back to that form.

    Mathilde- but my kids look good in black & white!!
    We should have thrown out our Jesse White Experiment cassette a long time ago too.

    Thanks Jim. It’s good for kids to be toughened up in this day and age.
    The older male is a Pies fan struggling to stay positive about 2017…..but trying.

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