Desolation derby
(with due apologies to Bob Dylan)
Fremantle versus West Coast
2.40pm, Sunday 7 August
Subiaco Oval
Les Everett
They’re selling tickets to the derby
But nobody really wants to go
One team is filled with pretenders
The other ya wouldn’t wanna know
Here comes the blind umpires
“We’ll see everything,” they cry
“Yeah, waddabout when Shuey ducks?”
“Well, we’ll call that high”
The fans that come they’re restless
There’s other places they’d rather go
As these two teams it seems
Approach Desolation Row.
Ballantyne is back wearing a black mask
“I look better this way,” he smiles
Lyon puts him in the forward pocket
Leon Davis style
And in comes big Sandi and Naitanui
“You’re the one who kneed me I believe.”
And someone says, “Do that again, my friend, you’d better leave.”
And the only sound that’s left
After the fireworks go
Is Le Cras sweeping up late goals
On Desolation Row.
Kennedy, disguised as Peter Hudson
Is taking his chances as they say
While Darling runs around like
He don’t wanna play
And the Dockers they’re full of fumblers
Slow thinkers and dud kickers
And you know they seem to know
They’re peeking out
At Desolation Row
Mr Lyon, he is choking
They’ve poisoned him with chocolate and words
“The game was bad enough,” he says
“But this is ten times worse”
And Simpson is happy about the work rate
“Those areas we sort of ticked off tonight”
And we all smile and say, “Yeah, that’s so right”
Well you wouldn’t know to look at them
But these teams were famous not so long ago
For playing in Grand Finals
Far from Desolation Row
Fremantle 3.2 5.6 7.7 9.10 (64)
West Coast 2.2 7.5 12.7 17.8 (110)
GOALS Fremantle: Pavlich, Sheridan, Yarran 2; Apeness, Ballantyne, Walters 1.
West Coast: Kennedy 7; Hill, LeCras 3; Hurn, Naitanui, Tunbridge, Gaff 1
BEST Fremantle: Sheridan, Hill, Mundy, Silvagni, Neale, Yarran.
West Coast: Kennedy, Priddis, Hurn, McGovern, Shuey, Sheppard.
UMPIRES Margetts, Kamolins, Fleer.CROWD 36,215
OUR VOTES Kennedy (WC) 3, Priddis (WC) 2, Sheridan (F) 1.
About Les Everett
A Footy Almanac veteran, Les Everett is the author of Gravel Rash: 100 Years of Goldfields Football and Fremantle Dockers: An Illustrated History. Co-founder with Vin Maskell of scoreboardpressure.com. Founder of australianrules.com.au and the Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/abandonedcricketpitches/
Too true, Les. Congrats on an imaginative idea well executed. Do you take any consolation from the principle that tough times reveal which players are genuine quality?
Good get Les.
“The festival was over and the boys were all plannin’ for a fall
The cabaret was quiet except for the drillin’ in the wall
The curfew had been lifted and the gamblin’ wheel shut down
Anyone with any sense had already left town
He was standin’ in the doorway lookin’ like the Jack of Kennedy’s”
Peter F I did go through the list recently and put a line through 17 names. And yet I love them all…
Peter_B yes, something from Blood on the Tracks does seem very appropriate.
A fine creation, Les.
Beautiful to behold a phoenix from the ashes.
Im still a-weeping, in fact the first half was quite entertaining the second less so not because we lost but because it was also predictable. Good job.
Nice work Les.