Round 20 – Fremantle v West Coast: Desolation derby

Desolation derby

(with due apologies to Bob Dylan)

Fremantle versus West Coast

2.40pm, Sunday 7 August
Subiaco Oval

Les Everett


They’re selling tickets to the derby

But nobody really wants to go

One team is filled with pretenders

The other ya wouldn’t wanna know

Here comes the blind umpires

“We’ll see everything,” they cry

“Yeah, waddabout when Shuey ducks?”

“Well, we’ll call that high”

The fans that come they’re restless

There’s other places they’d rather go

As these two teams it seems

Approach Desolation Row.


Ballantyne is back wearing a black mask

“I look better this way,” he smiles

Lyon puts him in the forward pocket

Leon Davis style

And in comes big Sandi and Naitanui

“You’re the one who kneed me I believe.”

And someone says, “Do that again, my friend, you’d better leave.”

And the only sound that’s left

After the fireworks go

Is Le Cras sweeping up late goals

On Desolation Row.


Kennedy, disguised as Peter Hudson

Is taking his chances as they say

While Darling runs around like

He don’t wanna play

And the Dockers they’re full of fumblers

Slow thinkers and dud kickers

And you know they seem to know

They’re peeking out

At Desolation Row


Mr Lyon, he is choking

They’ve poisoned him with chocolate and words

“The game was bad enough,” he says

“But this is ten times worse”

And Simpson is happy about the work rate

“Those areas we sort of ticked off tonight”

And we all smile and say, “Yeah, that’s so right”

Well you wouldn’t know to look at them

But these teams were famous not so long ago

For playing in Grand Finals

Far from Desolation Row


Fremantle 3.2 5.6 7.7 9.10 (64)

West Coast 2.2 7.5 12.7 17.8 (110)

GOALS Fremantle: Pavlich, Sheridan, Yarran 2; Apeness, Ballantyne, Walters 1.
West Coast: Kennedy 7; Hill, LeCras 3; Hurn, Naitanui, Tunbridge, Gaff 1

BEST Fremantle: Sheridan, Hill, Mundy, Silvagni, Neale, Yarran.
West Coast: Kennedy, Priddis, Hurn, McGovern, Shuey, Sheppard.

UMPIRES Margetts, Kamolins, Fleer.CROWD 36,215

OUR VOTES Kennedy (WC) 3, Priddis (WC) 2, Sheridan (F) 1.

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About Les Everett

A Footy Almanac veteran, Les Everett is the author of Gravel Rash: 100 Years of Goldfields Football and Fremantle Dockers: An Illustrated History. He is the WAFL correspondent and uses the money he makes from that role to pay for his expensive websites and and fund the extravagant Vin Maskell at


  1. Peter Fuller says

    Too true, Les. Congrats on an imaginative idea well executed. Do you take any consolation from the principle that tough times reveal which players are genuine quality?

  2. Good get Les.

    “The festival was over and the boys were all plannin’ for a fall
    The cabaret was quiet except for the drillin’ in the wall

    The curfew had been lifted and the gamblin’ wheel shut down
    Anyone with any sense had already left town
    He was standin’ in the doorway lookin’ like the Jack of Kennedy’s”

  3. Peter F I did go through the list recently and put a line through 17 names. And yet I love them all…

    Peter_B yes, something from Blood on the Tracks does seem very appropriate.

  4. E.regnans says

    A fine creation, Les.
    Beautiful to behold a phoenix from the ashes.

  5. Sean Gorman says

    Im still a-weeping, in fact the first half was quite entertaining the second less so not because we lost but because it was also predictable. Good job.

  6. Mark simms says

    Nice work Les.

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