Round 18 – Collingwood v North Melbourne: Even colder (Floreat Pica Society)

by Luke Reynolds, for the Floreat Pica Society.

On a night where, despite the roof being shut, Etihad Stadium was as cold as a mother-in-law’s stare, and the Pies first quarter was even colder. In a sadly all too common occurrence in the Buckley era, we were jumped by a fired up opposition and made to look slow and disorganised. Why did no one man up on Daniel Wells? He slaughtered us in the first term out of the centre, rarely having an opponent anywhere near him, setting up a match-winning lead.

Nice goals to Blair and Greenwood the only highlights in a truly awful quarter summed up by an atrocious kick-in by Howe that resulted in a Lindsay Thomas goal.

The atrocities continued in the second quarter. Somehow Greenwood, 15m out from our goal, kicked it straight to a Kangaroo 30m out. Collingwood players resorted to going the man. Jesse White was in the thick of it, pushing, shoving and mouthing off. Whilst being without a possession himself. Shortly after my roaring at him to ‘get a kick’, our man then goals. Then shortly after, missing a set shot from 30m out. All classic J.White.

A fantastic 3rd term sees the Pies back in contention. Blair, Pendles and Moore goal. Then Greenwood. But the good work comes undone when Maynard, comically stuffs up a kick in, resulting in a Thomas goal. As our players went the man again, Marley Williams gave away an instant free and shot on goal to Thomas. Luckily he missed.

Jesse gets a free and goals, then some brilliance by Sidebottom sees him kick a contender for goal of the year. Quickly followed by Majak Daw taking THE mark of the year.

Fasolo kicks the opening goal of the final quarter and it’s game on. Or could have been. North ran all over us in the end. Any faint finals hope is now gone.

Bloody Etihad. Really hate the fact that we have to play a couple of home games there each year. Especially when it’s against one of the tenant clubs.

Any positives from the game? Our midfielders were good around the ground despite being mostly beaten out of the centre. Pendles, Adams, Treloar and Sidey have the potential to be as good a midfield combination as any going around. Grundy v Goldstein was a good battle, reckon Grundy just came out in front. Aish and Marsh both continued to show a bit of what they’re capable of. But it was another dark night in a dark season.

Looking forward to next week’s double-header, with the VFL team at Victoria Park and the AFL team back at the ‘G against the Eagles.

Floreat Pica

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About Luke Reynolds

Cricket and Collingwood tragic. Twitter: @crackers134


  1. Good summation Luke. After a decent run of performances that was a major regression that was largely born of misdirected aggression.

    For such a potentially good midfield and a ruckman in the best form of his career that opening 20 minutes was putrid.

    And then you have Marley & Maynard down back – the Dumb & Dumber of football. Couldn’t believe all the howelers made by #38 either.

    And yet, after all the clangers, we should have run over the top of North. Kicking into the forward line was again terrible and two major opportunities were let slip when it mattered. Bloody Blair, had he either marked the pill or not touched it… That was the moment that mattered.

  2. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Well done,Luke it was a very disappointing performance and while,Grundy didn’t dominate like he has been he was still more than serviceable.The pies have a lot of talent to work with whether,Buckley is the right person for that job is another question

  3. Good one Luke. I am very much looking forward to a similar report next week. Though I have a strong feeling that your crap form is vastly superior to our crap form.
    Think I’ll play golf instead of watching the Crap Bowl.

  4. matt watson says

    Luke, it was the errors that cost you the game. How could Howe be so bad? And that miss-kick from the goal square by Maynard, gee that was funny.
    I expected North to win, but thought Collingwood were going to be much better.
    Thankfully our season goes on. For Collingwood, I don’t think it is all doom and gloom.
    I can feel them building into next year.

  5. The Maynard SNAFU was the AFL version of one a goalkeeper made last week in the US when he went to throw the ball to a teammate and changed his mind too late before he could stop the release. All he could manage was a futile chase down as the ball beat him into the net!

  6. E.regnans says

    Hope you thaw out soon, Luke.

    Home game at Docklands?
    Who is paying whom in this charade?
    It would be fascinating to see a money trail from club to club to league to stadium operator to TV company to food operators to government.
    but who are the individuals benefitting?
    How many old mates, I wonder?

  7. Appropriately terse report Luke! I caught a fair chunk of the second half, and reckon Sidebottom will be your next star, the heir-apparent to Pendles I also imagine that this is well-known to the good folk of the Floreat Pica Society.

  8. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Fair report Luke,
    Spot on about no one picking up Wells. Seems like one opposition midfielder dominates against us every week. Why do they have 43 assistant coaches?
    In one respect I was glad that we showed a bit of aggression, even though it was a little misguided, I reckon it was a sign that a team is forming that wants to play for each other. Intrigued to see how it unfolds for Bucks, Eddie and the club next year.

  9. Dave Brown says

    Good stuff Luke (not the result obviously). As a relatively impartial watcher the Maynard thing was hilarious and the Majak mark was exhilarating (and, yes, I was enjoying the performances of Norwood boys Dumont and Aish). It’s weird the difference in teams’ performances at the two Melbourne stadia. A combination of tactical and between the ear differences perhaps,

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