Round 15 – Port Adelaide v Richmond: The Richmond Hamburger of 2016

Queenstown, New Zealand. Checking into our hotel the lively Irish receptionist delivers to the groans of our stomachs: “If you want a good burger go to “Devil Burger”, it’s as good as “Ferburger” and less people and, you can sit down”. Sounds like a plan!

A couple of impressions walking down lakeside as the wave of cold bites into us:

  1. Queenstown is breathtakingly beautiful
  2. The beautiful people are out (they’re not all New Zealanders, I suspect)
  3. The beautiful people are all wearing puffy Jackets and many of them are chewing on burgers

“Devil Burger” delivers big time. Our burger expert Sasha gives thumbs up in between bites,  “Beautiful” he says. (He has loved burgers since he could eat meat, which was basically day one). The next few days will be skiing and adventure for the boys and Lynda, whilst I am basically struggling with a bad case of flu. I have timed this well, school holidays, a teacher and I am bloody sick. I spend my next few days walking around, listening to the buskers, walking around the lake, drinking coffee, looking at the line at Ferburger (it is always huge) and pondering Richmond’s upcoming game against the Power at Adelaide oval.

We play cards at night in the hotel room after a lovely steak dinner. (It’s a protein filled holiday this one). I am aiming to remain interested in cards and also keep one eye on the footy and my updates. The tiger boys start well and according to Mike’s text after the first quarter it is quite positive: “We are the better side, expect us to pull away”. This however is not the case. Port destroys a disorientated Richmond in the second quarter kicking 7 goals to 2. I get reading some reports on the blogs that “Hardwick has got them doing Star jumps on the spot rather than tackling” and “Why are we continuing to play Vickery and Hunt and Lambert and. …(list goes on). Of course the umpires are killing us I read. I reflect on the card game the boys have played. It’s call “Bullshit” and I guess that sums up our season.

After a glorious few days in Queenstown we end as we began, with a Devil Burger, a walk and talk. The burger hits the spot beautifully. As I reflect on our team we have the two best top buns in the league: Rance and Reiwoldt. Our meat filling is good, with Cotchin, Martin and Delidio. But that is where the nourishment ends. The people who are mixing the meals behind the scenes are not satisfying their eating public the long hungry tiger faithful.   There is no flavor and bite to our food, we are lacking sustenance and our cooks have spoiled the broth.  We lack the vital ingredients, of depth, texture, and taste. Our 2016 tiger burger is alarmingly devoid of any filling. Our nutritional needs have truly not been met.

PORT ADELAIDE   2.2   9.2   11.5   14.10 (94)
RICHMOND             3.2   5.3     7.6     8.8 (56)

Port Adelaide:
 Broadbent 2, Boak 2, Wingard 2, Westhoff, Young, Dixon, Impey, Trengove, R.Gray, Amon, Mitchell
Richmond: Riewoldt 4Lloyd 2, Vickery, Short

My BEST: 3 Boak, 2 Wines, and 1 Reiwoldt.
Port Adelaide: 
Boak, Trengove, Wines.
Richmond:  Miles, Riewoldt, Rance, Martin.

Burger Score: Devil Burger 2- Ferburger 0.

About Haje Halabi

Born in Bright Victoria, went overseas for 2 years and stayed 18. Tiger tragic, father of 2 fine young men, teacher and obsessed with sport and the good it can bring.


  1. Dr Rocket says

    Not much about the Tiges….

  2. Here in Sydney I have taken the Giants scarf out and am ready to go on a “second team” roll

    however Port were scary good there for 20 minutes

    we played OK in patches. a few kids got caught in the spotlight.

    picked the wrong team against Port’s mosquito fleet – said that beforehand and before it rained

    missed Hampson – what are the odds.

    still, we were 4-10 in 2014….


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