Round 14 – Port Adelaide v Geelong: Stab kicks with Citrus Bob Utber

For 30 odd years Citrus Bob Utber covered the football for the highly esteemed and family owned Pakenham Gazette.  As part of his weekly review and preview of all games he wrote a column under the nom de plume of “Stab Kicks”.  Over the years this column became the first port of call for footy fans. During that time he had only one possible law case (from a player who was a solicitor), one case where he was followed from Dandenong to Pakenham and threatened, three cases of “come behind the sheds” plus numerous verbal and in those days written complaints.


Footy reports from Bob Utber



On Saturday night he was at the Adelaide Oval to watch top-side Geelong take-on Port Power and he decided to re-visit Stab Kicks.





Lucky ? enough to watch Norwood and Eagles at The Parade during the afternoon. The Redlegs got thrashed and sorry Rulebook but the football was pathetic.

One of the best players given for The  Parade (not that they had many) was listed as “Barry McKenzie”. They certainly performed like our Bazza in London many years ago.


After all that has been going on in football over the last couple of weeks it was a delight to view the opening smoking ceremony and light show put on by over 200 young people of all races.


It  certainly was spectacular and a credit to the Power. Was it seen on live TV?  I doubt it’


No credit to the AFL however.   Their public relations machine was in overdrive during the week and failed on all accounts.  There are so many people in the PR and Media departments one would have thought they could not mess this up but they did.


Big night for Patrick Dangerfield on Saturday.  Flew over late because his wife Mardi was heavily pregnant but Mardi delivered on Friday a beautiful young girl (Felicite).  Spoke to him before the game and he was all systems go – so look out Port. (Written at 7.15pm ACT time).


There was once an important part of the game called “shepherding”, where has it gone?  Very little of it happened today. Kicking off the ground has returned big-time as all sides are now using it.  To advantage? Just ask Josh Jenkins (Adelaide) who is out for at least five weeks.


Port’s second goal was great team-work with a string of looping handballs for Connor Rozee to goal. They are certainly looking the better side at the moment.  Have Geelong got “bye-it is” again? Three goals to nil after 20 is looking good with Lycett in great form dropping back to mark.


As they are doing in the Cricket World Cup where they divide the game into 10 overs and you get a “plus” or a minus”, Power got the plus at quarter time to lead by 14 points.  Best Lycett, Houston, Duursma,  Cats: Dangerfield, Duncan.  Bit of mongrel in the Power tonight.


Nothing came of it but what a great jog G.Rohan did in controlling the ball in front of goal.   Certainly a handy pickup for the Cats this year.


Wines and Dangerfield going bump for bump. Their fathers were team-mates down in the Bellarine League many years ago.


Power’s backline holding firm under extreme pressure from Geelong.  Hard to see why they have lost games in recent times.


What an improved player Rhys Stanley is this year.  Given the responsibility of number 1 ruckman and consistent games he is easily the most mobile ruckman in the competition. His break away from the centre, bounce and delivery was first class.


Wonderful play by Motlop against his old side deserved better that a point.  The Power is too fast for Geeelong at the moment and Robbie Gray is looking dangerous up forward.


First time I have seen it! The scoreboard telling us what the free-kicks are for as they happen.  Is this new AFL PR or have I been asleep for a few weeks?


Port’s onballers are outplaying Geelong and giving their team mates first use downfield.  Wines, Robbie Gray and Boak have lifted their work rate.


Port still in control at half time and another plus to them.  They are really having a go tonight and their “outs on Thursday having certainly stung the other players into attack.  Port by 19 points.  Best: Boak , a superb quarter, Houston, Lycett, Cats: Stewart


Wines & Rozee in the same team.  Very Barossa Valley.


Port doing all the attacking in the early part of the championship quarter.  What a great return to football by Hamish Hartlett as twice he breaks the pack open from half back to deliver the ball forward.


It’s not pretty football by a log shot.  Both sides finding it hard to break away.  Veteran Photographer Peter Argent said,“ I thought they were trying to improve the scoring this year  but don’t get me on my band wagon”.


Players still trying to kick the ball in mid-air!  This is ridiculous.  What is happening to our game.


At last Geelong is showing why they are the top team at the moment with two quick goals but Sam Gray counter attacks for Power.


In the space of a minute the Cats lose 2 players Rohan and Henry and they look as though they are finished for the evening – Geelong in trouble.  Henry does return


Hawkins having a shocker by three-quarter time he still has not kicked the ball. Tom Clurey very impressive on him


Geelong probably got a “plus” that quarter but the Power have hit them with everything and they looked sick and sorry at lemon-time. Power by nine


Is Chris Scott the new front man for R.M.Williams?   Those boots he had on really stood out amongst the other coaching staff.


The impressive Connor Rozee gave his team a breather with a goal 2 minutes into the final stanza.  He looks to have a great future in the AFL.


Zac Tuohy has done some ridiculous things tonight and he did it again!


Looks all over now as Robbie Gray turns the opposition inside out for another goal.  Port up by 22.  The home side look really impressive and Lycett gets better as the game proceeds. There is know doubt that the one “real ruckman scenario works when the side is on top.


Ablett tries his darndest to bring the Cats back but it is all too late and the Power win by 11.


Very impressive display by Power but a pathetic one by Geelong.  The “bye” has certainly got them between the ears. Eight or nine in a row now I think.  Goes back to the old days when they thought they could win a game by walking up Malop Street reading The Ade.


As the bye did not help, some of their youngsters need a rest.


PORT ADELAIDE     3.4     6.5     7.9     9.13     (67)
GEELONG                   1.2     3.4     6.6      8.8      (56)


Port Adelaide: Rozee 2, R.Gray 2, Dixon, Wines, Burton, Farrell, S.Gray
Geelong: Fort 2, Ablett 2, Dangerfield, Kelly, Miers, Stanley


Port Adelaide: R.Gray, Boak, Lycett, Clurey, Houston, Amon, Burton
Geelong: Dangerfield, Duncan, Stewart, Tuohy, Parfitt


Port Adelaide: Nil
Geelong: Rohan (concussion)


Reports: Nil


Umpires: Fisher, Rosebury, Gianfagna, Haussen


Official crowd: 37,726 at Adelaide Oval


Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.


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About Bob Utber

At 84 years of age Citrus Bob is doing what he has always done since growing up on a small farm at Lang Lang. Talking, watching and writing sport and in recent years writing books. He lives in Mildura with his very considerate wife (Jenny) and a groodle named 'Chloe on Flinders' and can be found at Deakin 27 every day.


  1. Colin Ritchie says

    The Power made the game physical, cramped the Cats style, and didn’t let them run. I would think Geelong would have gained a lot from that game, and even though they lost they should be able to employ those insights gained in further games.

  2. Agree Col. If the Cats learn from the loss it will help them. Port was very impressive. Hard and fast.

    Can’t remember Hawkins looking so lost? It was like he had just transitioned across from basketball and wasn’t sure what to do. Biorhythms are a powerful source. Not sure I understood the coaching mentality on the night either.

  3. Hope we see more of “Stab Kicks” CB. Good game to watch as a neutral. Teams will play physical on silky Cats now. Port are a real Jekyll and Hyde. Can’f figure them out. Rhys Stanley’s last game as the most mobile ruckman in the AFL. NicNait returns.

  4. Chaps, the Power played a style that the old Port Magpies played under Fos Williams – keep the ball moving our way at all costs and hit the opposition really hard, make them earn every kick. It worked a treat. For all that they could manage to only win by 11 points when they appeared to be at least a 5 0r 6 goal better side.

    Somehow, I suspect Geelong will quickly bounce back hard and I have grave fears for the Crows this coming week.

    With the Power now firmly entrenched in playing an annual game in CHINA, and Australia becoming a space place, in a few years time perhaps (hopefully) we could see COLLINGWOOD play on the Moon.

    Playing on Mars much later would not be feasibale as the trip there and back would take way too long

  5. A fair summary I reckon, from one who was there in his thermals. Very frustrated by Port’s inability to convert easy and relatively easy set shots into goals, too many from less than 40 metres and good angles went awry. Do they not practice this stuff? Sorry, remember now, the sports scientists stop them after too many kicks! Agree with Fisho, Fos would have been pleased with the effort, especially from some of our many smaller blokes. Just have to front up and do it again this week, that’s been our problem.

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