Round 13 – Collingwood v Melbourne: Floreat Pica Society match report


The coverage commences and the camera goes full panorama, to show an MCG awash with blue beanies. What a sight! This is the tenth Big Freeze event and by the look of the crowd and beanie sales, the momentum is shifting into top gear for the ongoing movement to tackle Motor Neurone Disease.


Neale & Bec Daniher – saints in our midst.


To the footy and a quick word about the mechanics behind how this report comes together, and maybe some hints for distant correspondents with access to Here I would like to pay my compliments to the tech guru who invented the 15 second rewind button on most online video productions. This allows the correspondent to rewind and capture critical moments of the game. Compliments also to the camera men & women, who capture the moments magnificently on slowmo, very soon after the event. Since I get a bit behind the live coverage with all the back tracking, I simply use the quarter & half time breaks to catch up and go back to the live action. Unfortunately, this means skipping the Bunning’s, AAMI, Chemist Warehouse and McDonald’s ads, which I do find entertaining, but in the line of FPS duty, I’m more than happy to skip them all…


The first bounce has landed clearly out of the centre circle, but it is ignored by the ump & the call is play on…I like it…


Bobby Hill is in the action early and puts a huge don’t argue on Pickett, an incredible show of strength and timing, putting his opponent flat on his back. The resulting quick movement sees the ball into our forward line, into WHE’s reliable hands (we’ve certainly missed him!) – he canters in and it’s a goal within a minute.


Nice start, Pies.


Oliver puts it out on the full, the first of many clangers for him, to the glee of Pies fans. He continues to frustrate his supporters. The G looks full and heaving, and magnificent from this distance of about 7,350 kms away. Neale-Bullen is bullying Naicos. Max Gawn gets a shot from 50, and duly hits the woodwork. May spoils Frampton, and very quickly, down the other end, Howe puts a beautiful smother on a rushed Fritsch kick, and the ball moves back into our forward line. Our boys seem to be loving the Shane Warne wing… all the best action seems to be happening there. Fin Macrae snaps a great goal. Two quick goals to nil.


Nathan Kreuger is getting some positive early touches, earning his selection. On the other hand, our nemesis Steven May is copping loud boos on each touch… some well deserved payback for his nonsensical post GF comments. Maynard is also copping the same treatment from Dees fans, but Pies fans are quickly onto this, and they easily have the numbers to drown it out. Howe gets a perfect sit on Fritsch, unfortunately cannot hold onto the ball and drag it in. No worries, he’ll get his chance again later. This time it’s Pickett hitting the woodwork. Soon after, Chandler draws wild cheers from Pies fans with a set shot that sails out on the full. The yellow pill disappears into a sea of blue, black & white.


Some nice, smooth defensive work starting with Sidey & Harrison in the back pocket. Turner takes a clean mark for the Dees and he too finds woodwork… but this time it’s the point post. Gawn is taking marks, yet so is Cameron. Pickett roves, and kicks truly, however the score is changed to a point, thanks to the pinkie of Lipinsky. There’s a hint of rhyme for our resident Haiku man.


The audibles have clearly shifted – now when Maynard has the ball, it’s just pure noise, a hybrid of boos & cheers. The scoring has dried up and the score worm is flattening. Maynard delivers a massive & perfectly timed thump on Turner, whose kick goes out on the full. Delirious cheers. Pies pressure is back to 2023 levels. Fast movement out of the back line, a graceful WHE leap & grab against two Dees on the wing, Bobby Hill eventually picks up a dribbling ball, and finds a leading Kreuger, who kicks truly.


Maynard is utterly menacing – a crunching tackle on Swallow, and the quarter ends with footage of Petracca writhing in pain after Darcy Moore’s right knee hits him hard in the lower ribs / kidney area and he is down in the rooms. With all the noise, I thought there was some quarter time biffo going on, but it’s just noise. A beautiful noise.


Qtr time; Pies lead,19 to 4.


Naicos now settling into his busy mode, as usual. What a talent. The reliable Darcy Cameron finds our shortest player out on his own, and Lachlan Schulz slots a round the corner goal. Next up, Rivers is flooded by a flock of desperate Pies half forwards, but no free. Bowey sends one starboard. The Dees flying Dutchman, Jacob van Rooyen takes a mark over Markov and kicks truly. Darcy Moore takes one of many superb marks in defence, yet Howe spoils this promising move by slipping over. Petracca is seen jogging the boundary line, shaking his head. But it seems he is doing the Dipper (circa Sept 1989) by taking the field again with injured ribs. The Dutchman kicks another major, and our lead is reduced to 8 points. Maynard’s touches are now drawing wild cheers. Love it. However a few small mistakes are now creeping into our game, missed targets, yet we are having some luck by some very poor kicking from the Dees. Bobby Hill is again involved in two fast forward moves, but on both occasions, no score. Petty seems to be smiling as he comes in to kick for goal, but misses. Soon after, at the other end, the same Petty marks a WHE kick for goal. Again, no scoring.


Maynard marks… massive cheers again. Some fine Markov pressure saves a goal. Sidey whispers something into the ear of his captured opponent after winning the tackle and a holding the ball decision. He is constantly defying his age, however his set shot from 50m unfortunately does not repeat his memorable GF goal.


Maynard intercepts again, crowd goes wild. Oliver is kicking atrociously, and IQ sends him a thank you by marking and sending us forward again, and this time it’s HH within range and he kicks truly. 15 point lead. The game is so simple. Keeping possession really does make all the difference. Sidey intercepts and finds Kreuger. On his left foot, he threads it perfectly, and we have a 21 point lead.


Charlie Dean takes a perfect intercept mark on the wing. WHE takes a chest mark, by sneaking up (a bit like a librarian) behind Steven May, and kicks a goal, right on the half time siren. It’s a happy Collingwood crowd at half time.


Half time; Pies lead, 45 to 18.


It’s a quick re-start from the Dees with a goal to the Dutchman. Darcy playing very loose again, and was 20 metres off on this occasion. Our consecutive games legend, Jack Crisp gets a free from Oliver for holding the man, delivers into the forward pocket, McCreery deftly soccers it to Billy F, goal. Margin out to 27. Oliver makes a carbon copy of this previous error within two minutes and gives Crisp another free. Oliver is seen whining loudly again. Charlie Dean is playing well – he gets a free and moves it to Darcy Cameron, who after zealously rearranging the boundary line furniture, threads a needle with a beauty. We have a 33 point lead and are looking good! Darcy Moore takes a superb mark in defence, and as is too often the case, the ball comes back at him again and he is out of position. Fortunately this time Howe is backing up. Kreuger is getting more touches, and delivers a left footer into CHF and Steele Sidebottom is onto it. He gladly takes Jason Turner as a step ladder and takes a hanger. Camera pans to the Pies bench. Pure delirium. BT calls it “enjoying the moment”. Sidey’s kick goes out on the full, but who cares – his famous smile still appears, nonetheless. Pickett take his opportunity and finally curls one through, back to a 27 point lead. Crisp roves the centre bounce, but May is in the way. Fritsch gets a shot from 50m and he misses. It’s a fast ball out of the back line from Noble & Howe, but May is in the way again. Cue the Boos. Maynard takes a mark, cue the cheers. He has a true purple patch right here… a massive bump on Fritsch is deemed fair, but it flattens Fritsch, who is decked, horizontal and wide mouthed for a moment. The Bruzzer soon after handed a 50m gift due to a late bump from Howes. Meanwhile, our Howe gets a handball out from the bottom of a pack, at the same time gets crunched in the back by Pickett. Free to Pickett. Huh? Go Figure. Umpire was behind the action and had a limited view. Anyway, justice is duly served as Pickett’s kick hits the post. At this point the goal posts are short priced favourites for Horsburgh Votes.


Our movement from the back line is again fast & clean and a hacked kick from Tom McDonald finds Naicos on the 50m line. Our little champion squeezes it through from 55m. The Daicos family are on their feet, and we are out to a 30 point lead. The Dutchman shows his inexperience at the bounce, Darcy C takes the free. Markov finds May, and it’s back to our hard working backs – Moore, Dean and IQ are all combining superbly. Langdon gets a mark within range and guess what… woodwork again! Actually, I need to check this… are they still made from wood? Jaicos to Naicos, finds HH on 50m, and he kicks a beautiful goal. Naicos is seen limping off after a shin bump with Neale Bullen. Not sure if it is anything serious. Another goal would be nice, before 3Q time, but instead it is down the other end, and in Pickett’s hands. He kicks another point from a set shot.


3QT; 11.3.69 to 4.11.35.


We hold a 34 point lead… it would be a very different game had the Dees been on 11.4 instead of 4.11.

Final quarter, Naicos is back on the field, and it’s kick to kick for the first 10 mins. The Cameron v Gawn contest has been a gripping one. Gawn actually ended up with more hitouts, but I’m putting Cameron ahead on points for his around the ground efforts. Moore goes wide to Maynard, crowd goes wild again. Jaicos finds Billy F, but he kicks a point from his set shot. Sidey draws massive cheers for dribbling the ball across the line. A nervous kick out from the Dees sees HH with half a chance in a contest, 20m out and he snaps truly for his 3rd goal.


BIG tackles from Markov and Bobby Hill in this next patch of play. Next it is the Dees Dutchman, adding to the missed shots. Naicos has been subbed off, ice on the shin. They are saying it is precautionary. Jeremy Howe upstages Sidey, gets his knee perfectly positioned on Langdon’s right anterior scalene muscle (those into anatomy, please correct me if wrong) and takes a Jeremy Howe special. It’s now going quiet, we look to be home, yet our tackling pressure is still intense. Lipinski gets a snap chance from 45, the ball finds its way over a 2 on 1 contest (the one being WHE) and it bounces through for a goal. Game high 46 point lead. Sweet.


More mesmerising movement forward from the bounce, Jaicos, Noble, Crisp involved, and Schulz applies pressure with a great tackle. The Dees rebound and Pickett dribbles a goal at the other end. Petracca is shown heading to hospital.


Pressure being applied again, Love our Q4 pressure. Frisch gets a “front on contact” free kick and guess what… misses. Dees are 5.14 and we have a 39 point lead. Next, Fritsch gets his first goal. Crowd goes quiet.


Gawn gets a Polly Farmer length handball down to Fritsch, who is immediately nailed by Bruzzer. Roars of delight. Krooooooogar… is now the crowd’s next call, followed by the traditional Collingwoood chant. Finally, with 3 mins left, Kroooogar gets underneath to mark a skied ball and he’s within range. He squeezes it through and celebrates big time. It will be hard to overlooking him out after this performance, and selection may well be tricky as players come back. It’s also notable that the not so regular players are able to step up like seasoned players. Macrae, Sullivan, Dean, Harrison have all contributed to this win. Jaicos lays a ferocious tackle with 1.5 mins left on the clock and is rewarded. Love it.


Unfortunately this round has seen some strange decisions in the final minutes. The Eagles and the GC Suns were on the receiving end of poor decisions in tight games. In the case of the Suns, the AFL actually admitted that the decision was incorrect. This game gets one too as Lipinski, with absolutely ‘no prior’ is nailed, holding the ball. Anyway, the game is done & dusted and we run out 38 point winners. A nice margin, and we are back into 6th position, in fact equal 4th on points with Port and Geelong.

The song goes on, the crowd sings, McRae in the puffer jacket is hugging everyone, and Gawn stands a lone, forlorn figure in the middle. Ultimately, it’s a very enjoyable win, given that we have had to make forced changes, new players slotting in, and still a long injury list. The two ‘boo targets’, Maynard and May are seen walking off together, laughing at their respective plights.

The Pies had 19 scoring shots, Dees 21, and we win by 38 points, so much of the post game discussion is about Melbourne’s inaccuracy, but a lot is about our ability to win with a long injury list and having new players ready to step into the big time.


FINAL SCORE; 14.5.89 to 6.15.51




It is of course an enviable, and joyfully difficult decision to pick best players from a winning team, but here goes.

Apologies are due to so many, including Howe, Lippa, Noble, Sidey and Moore, all of whom had 20+ possessions. Oh, and those goal posts….


     3. Jack Crisp – the Neale Daniher trophy winner. Totally agree with the judges on their pick here,

  1. Josh Daicos – highest possession getter with 34 touches, an evenly split tally of 17 kicks + 17 handballs,
  2. The Bruzzer – put himself into many contests tonight and in so many, came out on top. Stirred on by the crowd, surely.


There you go, honourable FPS members.


I hope you enjoyed the report as much as I did writing it.


Next week we face North, who are just coming off their first win, and we do have to be careful. They have given us some scares in recent years, and it’s at Marvel – probably our least favourite venue.


Hope you all have a good week.


Cheers from the Bangkok Correspondent.


COLLINGWOOD          3.1     7.3     11.3     14.5 (89)
MELBOURNE               0.4     2.6     4.11     6.15 (51)


Collingwood: Kreuger 3, Harrison 3, Hoskin-Elliott 2, Schultz, Macrae, Lipinski, Frampton, N.Daicos, Cameron
van Rooyen 3, Pickett 2, Fritsch


Collingwood: Crisp, J.Daicos, Maynard, Howe, Noble, Kreuger
Gawn, Neal-Bullen, Pickett, Windsor


Collingwood: N.Daicos (corked shin)
Petracca (ribs)


Collingwood: Jack Bytel (replaced Nick Daicos in the fourth quarter)
Jack Billings (replaced Christian Petracca in the third quarter)


Crowd: 84,659 at the MCG



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