Round 11 – Gold Coast v Fremantle: Sun, Surf and Sand – where the bloody hell are you?

Gold Coast Suns v Fremantle Dockers

Metricon Stadium, Gold Goast

Saturday 13 June 2015

1.40pm

by Di Waddingham

Sun, Surf and Sand – Where the bloody hell are you?

The day started at the uncivilised hour of 4am. Good grief, even the coffee machine was still in sleep mode at the airport but maybe it was just as well.   I needed to rob a bank just to be able to afford a coffee.

As I stacked some zzzzz’ds on the plane, I was rudely interrupted by a gi-normous speed hump. Holy crap! Where was the you-know-what bag? I had seen too many episodes of Air Crash Investigations to know when a plane does a double pike with 4.5 degree of difficulty, there may be a consequence! I didn’t care too hoots about me but I was travelling with very important cargo (ie the Dockers banner) and I just had to get it there, no matter what.

Where were the footy gods today? Instead of the warm Queensland sun we were drenched in awful drizzly rain. Even the raising of the banner had us in a fritz! It was back to front and front to back so hasty improvisation had the front ropes turn into back ropes and vice versa. It was Barlow’s 100thgame milestone banner so we could not stuff it up! We got it up but not perfectly to script.

Who said “You will only need your sunnies”?   Obviously, Ms Paranoia here, who really, really hates getting wet, still packed her wet weather gear, with my only concession to visiting the Gold Coast was to leave the other twenty seven layers behind.   Unfortunately I had the last laugh. It rained when we arrived, it rained when it stopped and it stopped when it rained. To say I was pissed off was an understatement. Just wish I had windscreen wipers on my glasses. I could not see a damned thing!!

It was good to see big “Spider” Everett tossing the coin, even though he had traded his Saints colours for the Suns’ red and gold. This was Top versus Bottom so my expectation was for a big Freo win, with a huge percentage boost. However all we got was a rendition of Simon and Garfunkel’s Slip Sliding Away. In the first quarter, Freo was obviously going for a forward entry’s record with no goals and a few behinds. Bloody hell, this was turning into a nightmare!

I was clueless about the opposition so had no idea who Boston, Lemmons, Miller and Kolodjashnij (a reality TV show perhaps?) were. Dockers Neale, Muz, Hannath and even Pav-licious were made to look ordinary. Sandi’s ruck work was sublime but our scoreboard pressure was embarrassing. Suns (shock horror) led by three points at quarter time.

The rain persisted and the second quarter was not much better. Not sure whether the lowlights were highlights or the highlights were lowlights. What were the chances of our Pearce “triplets” (Alex, Clancy and Danyle) creating some commentating delight! Pearce handballs off to Pearce who kicks it to Pearce and then Pearce-off! This was no Fox Footy Classic Encounter. Freo slipped away to a six-point lead at half-time and I had to rob the bank a second time to pay for my half time nibbles. I thought the AFL had made the cheap eats food guide this year but obviously the guide had not made it to Metricon!

 

In the third quarter, the rain kept tumbling and Freo kept fumbling. Some superglue on the ball would help and hello, we are the ones in the white jumpers, just in case the rain had shorted out their brain matter. With the Metricon backdrop being a sea of unfilled red seats, I’m sure there was some confusion as to the difference between a ‘Sun’ and an empty seat (and there was a stadium full of these).

 

Was this horrible drizzly rain ever going to stop? Come on Freo, please kick a bloody goal. I was frustrated, I was losing my voice and my blood pressure was ready to break the machine. How embarrassing if we lost to a team that included half of the Southport seconds (as the Suns had been decimated by injury)!   I reckon Freo’s plane would bypass Perth and fly into outer space if the worst case scenario eventuated and we lost. However, up steps Fyfe with a cameo up forward and with brute strength and Brownlow votes, kicks two glorious goals. Freo (thankfully) extended its lead by a further three points.

The last quarter was a real slog fest. Could someone pplleeaasseeee convert one of the hundred and fifty two forward entries into a goal? Sandi broke his own world record with 471 tap outs and Ballas used his face as a ball smotherer (maybe the “falcon” of the year). All I could do was chant a bit louder, pray a bit longer and remember to breathe. We butchered the ball and could not score to save ourselves. Each second felt like an hour. Each minute felt like an eternity and the Suns continued to be as annoying as chewy stuck on your shoe. They had a red-hot go and were far from disgraced.

With about 2 minutes to go, Suban receives a free kick in the goal square and slots it through the big sticks. Hallelujah! However, the Suns had not read the script and Lynch replied within a nano second. OMG – I had my head in my hands or was it my hands in my head. I was delirious!

The siren never sounded so good. The four points (though we won by seven) were snatched with glee.   I never really understood what an ugly win was but I am guessing this was one of them. We head off to the bye sitting at ten wins and one loss. I still can’t quite believe it. I may be in the funny farm by season’s end but this win means I am back in my awesome purpleness again. I really needed some sleep as my day finally ended nearly twenty two hours after it began – phew. GO FREO!!

_____________________________________________________________________________

GOLD COAST     2.0   3.1  5.2   7.4 (46)
FREMANTLE       1.3  3.7   5.11 6.17 (53)

GOALS
Gold Coast:
Raines 2, Lemmens, Lynch, Miller, Rischitelli, Kolodjashnij
Fremantle: Fyfe 2, Suban, Hannath, Crozier, Neale

BEST 
Gold Coast:
Rischitelli, Saad, Raines, Kolodjashnij, Boston, Harbrow
Fremantle: Fyfe, Mundy, C.Pearce, Sandilands, Sutcliffe, McPharlin, Spurr

INJURIES 
Gold Coast:
Stanley (knee)
Fremantle: Nil

SUBSTITUTES
Gold Coast:
Nick Malceski replaced Danny Stanley in the first quarter
Fremantle: Nick Suban replaced Matthew Taberner in the third quarter

Reports: Nil

Umpires: Fisher, Rosebury, O’Gorman

Official crowd: 8911 at Metricon Stadium

 

 

VOTES:  Luke McPharlin   3

Nathan Fyfe 2

Lee Spurr 1

 

Comments

  1. Les Everett says

    Nice Di.

    Getting an AFL team hasn’t been a good idea for the Gold Coast… it’s shown us that weather is crap.

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