Round 1 – Geelong v Hawthorn: Said Hawthorn Man

by Grant Fraser

 

Already won three Big Ones, man,
One more we’re with the Pies.
“We’ll all be rooned,” said Hawthorn Man,
“Before the year by flies.”

(with apologies to John O’Brien)

 

The Dangerfields v Hawthorn, Easter Monday 28 March 2016, MCG

 

A fair proportion of followers of our winter game were heard to cry “Enough!” upon the sounding of the final siren in 2015. Three in a row (dare I say “threepeat”?) was seen to be more than sufficient for one team, and a strong undercurrent emerged hoping the following year the Mighty Fightings could/should/would topple from their perch.

 

Part of the problem, no doubt, was the manner in which success has been greeted by the Hawthorn faithful. While we are no longer predominantly folk of the green, leafy (Liberal voting) eastern suburbs of Melbourne, there was more than a hint of a return to the “born to rule” mentality one associated with Hawthorn of the ‘80’s and past Presidential performances on Offsiders. Other footy followers were seeing Hawthorn premierships as boring, its supporters as obnoxious blowhards. Think e. regnan’s brilliant Almanac parable of the hawk and the magpie at the Espy.

 

Come 2016, things were different for some of us inside the brown and gold tent. The hubris of 2015 was left behind, with some Hawks fans looking to Round 1 with trepidation. Clock reset to zero, significant departures through retirement and trade, aging champions, all other clubs “training the house down” over summer. The Age reveals 15 on our list are yet to play a senior game – highest in the AFL. You don’t have to be a teeny-bopper to tell there is only One Direction for us to go.

 

And then there was THE arrival at Skilled Stadium. In His last outing ‘G, I witnessed His last miracle for the Ravens  – an impossible goal, from the outside of his foot, under extreme pressure, from the pocket. Trips to the Point Lonsdale beach house over summer meant it was impossible to avoid confirmation of His arrival – on billboards, draped over overpasses…everywhere. He was Iconic in every sense of the word.

 

Things became worse with news that Rough would be out for half the season, and then Shiels and Hill absent due to to wrist injuries. Six new soldiers (to use a Clarksonism) to face the Dangerfields on Easter Monday…and even then one pulled out on the morning to be replaced by a first gamer. Still – put on brave face, lick the hand of the seer and hope the gods are with us.

 

I break my normal rule and sit with Andrew and Vic in front of the coaches boxes. “Ceglar’s out”. “Yeah I heard”. There is agreement that the task in front of us is huge. To get within 5 goals will be seen as a good result. The game commences and it is not long before the first of 43 roars emerges from the Dangerfield cheer squad behind the Punt Road goals. Contrast that with the tentative approach of many Hawthorn players, particularly the “ins”. James Sicily in particular seems overawed, on one occasion looking to dish off when faced with a clear and very gettable shot at goal (“reminds me of Josh Kennedy looking to pass to Franklin in 2009” I whispered to Andrew. “Hope it doesn’t turn out the same”).

Things keep going badly for us, and well for the Dangerfields. Doc Duryea turns back into traffic, twice, and gets pinged. Tall Dangerfield, recruited from Gold Coast, shows he is that most unusual of ruckmen – one who can kick. Short Dangerfield, wearing the number 6, is getting a lot of the ball and showing a lot of fight, strength and spirit. Whilst there is a lot new, and a lot to like, about the 2016 team from Corio Bay it appears Selfish Dangerfield has not changed much. He goals after receiving an “out here, out here” gift in the goal square.

 

Five goals down at the half. The coffees taste bitter, our eyes downcast. “Didn’t we come back from 5 behind at half time against the Swans?” I feebly offer, trying to boost morale.

 

My notes from the third quarter are somewhat scant as, inexplicably, we produce something and I am drawn to the footy rather than scribbling. Little legs Poppy gets the pistons going and races onto the ball before sprinting away to goal. Silky delivers from the Members flank, right on 50 (“do the plane, do the plane” I scream as I stand with arms extended, beseeching him to reprise his celebrations after kicking the winner in the 2013 Prelim.). Somehow we are in front at three quarter time. “THESE TEAMS!” I write in my notes, marvelling at this most glorious of modern rivalries.

 

But as Floki came to learn when he tried to storm Paris, sometimes the gods are not with us. Sometimes they laugh at us. Within minutes of commencement of the final term the lead was lost, never to be regained. The skipper jogs off late, wrist clearly in trouble. The Dangerfields win by 5 goals, as predicted.

 

From the perspective of the Dangerfields, when you bet the farm on success you want a good crop first up. As far as the Hawks are concerned, I feel like I have just discovered the Easter Bunny is in fact Mum and Dad. A little bit of magic and wonder has died, and the world seems a lot more beige than yesterday

 

Weagles next week, Hell bent on revenge. Then “everyone’s second team” at Jihad. 0:3 looms as a very real prospect. It may be a long season.

 

What lies in store for my Hawthorn team?
When all around seems dark?.
“Ask me in October, son.
Now let me chew me bark.”

(with even more apologies…)

 

My votes: 3 Dangerfield (Dang.); 2 Tall Dangerfield (Dang.); 1 Mitchell (Haw.)

 

Goals: Dangerfields: D Lang 3 J Caddy 3 Z Smith 3 L McCarthy 2 T Hawkins 2 C Guthrie J Murdoch L Henderson M Blicavs S Motlop.
Hawthorn: J Gunston 3 P Puopolo 3 L Breust 2 W Langford 2 B Hartung S Burgoyne.
Crowd: 74,218 at MCG. 
Umpires: Scott Jeffery, Robert Findlay, Jacob Mollison.