Round 1 – Essendon v Fremantle: Commentators joke as the empty crowd cheer.
Essendon v Fremantle
21/3/2020,
Marvel Stadium.
Sitting in my room in my Essendon scarf and beanie, next to my Essendon water bottle and footy, and typing this on my computer covered in Essendon stickers, I struggle to think of how to convey the weirdness of this situation.
As the World struggles to figure out how best to deal with the biggest microscopic threat since the Spanish Flu 100 years ago, the AFL boldly went against the decision of many sporting leagues around the world and decided to start their reduced season, albeit without any fans.
I’m not sure if this was the right call in terms of player safety. I don’t know if suspending the season or cancelling the season all together would have been any better. All I know is that, for a couple of hours this weekend, footy fans can be distracted from the news.
Onto this game.
Essendon heads into 2020 with far less fanfare than the previous two-three years. Perhaps this is a good thing, as we didn’t seem to deal so well with the weight of expectation.
Fremantle on the other hand are coming into this year with a new coach. Perhaps the new coach will bring a more exciting style of play? Who knows? Nothing this season is predictable.
One advantage of listening to the radio for this game is I get to listen to a radio call after completing a short course at University on AFL Radio Commentary. Listening to the previous two games this round, I managed to pick up some things we were taught, including how well the commentators shared the call with each other, and how well they paced themselves.
Although I’ll admit, not hearing a massive roar after a goal is kicked is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard.
This summer has been too weird, and life promises to get even weirder. It’s nice to have footy back to bring some sense of normality to everyday life.
First quarter starts. Devon Smith kicks the first after just 57 seconds. Langford got involved, former Tiger Townsend too. Great start. Langford has a chance to add our second goal of the game after a clever piece of play by AMT. Sadly he misses, and we extend our lead by a behind. Townsend takes a mark in the pocket from the Hurley kick. He kicks his first goal for the team with the red slash (much prettier than the old yellow slash he used to wear) as the commentators announce that a Collingwood staff member has been tested positive for Coronavirus. My thoughts are with this person and I hope they recover quickly.
Bellchambers stops a certain goal from Walters in a call that reminds me of when the great Fletcher chased down Garlett in 2011. Fremantle pressure our defense for 5 minutes or so before we transition to no effect. Both defences are playing well early. Cerra kicks the first score of the year for Freo, and the margin is cut back down to 12 points. We sling it down the other end of the ground, and Fantasia kicks his first for the year. No doubt B.T whilst at home would be yelling his name deliriously, practising for when he’s permitted to go back to work.
Laverde makes Fremantle pay for a turnover with a great shot from 50 meters out as we extend our lead to 24. The commentators joke about getting him confused with Snelling. An understandable but hilarious mistake. While the commentators debate how similar those two players look, Lobb kicks the Dockers first. Bombers by 18. Taberner kicks their second in a row as Hurley appeals for a push in the back to no avail. By the sounds of it, that kick was so high it nearly went through the open roof. We lead by 12. Townsend kicks a behind. Make it 13 that we lead by. He then takes a great-sounding mark in the goal square. This time, he doesn’t miss. He has his second, and we have five for the quarters. And that’s all she wrote. Bombers by 19.
The commentators sound like they’re having fun as they joke about Brendon Zerk-Thatcher’s name. They get no response from the empty crowd. This Essendon supporter is pretty happy though, and I can imagine the crowd applauding the players at halftime for their performance.
The second stanza begins with a…second ball up. Rather anticlimactic of you, umpire. Smith kicks a behind for the first score of the quarter as we extend our lead to 20. Saad kicks our second behind for the quarter. 21 point lead. The commentators lose their mind as Sam Sturt kicks his first goal in his first game and makes us pay for those two points. Stringer responds with a very Stringer-esque goal from 50 meters out. Not much follows after that goal, except for the players letting out their frustration about some umpiring decisions on each other. Taberner kicks a behind to bring the margin back to 20. We transition beautifully down the other end of the ground, and… we kick a behind. Both teams are missing plenty of opportunities. Travis Colyer, against his old club, misses just, and Saad takes off on one of his runs. It’s one of the most beautiful things in Footy, when Saad runs. Townsend is the beneficiary of his run, and he kicks his third goal of the half. Bombers by 26. And that ends a promising first half for us.
Second half commences with a behind to us, which sees the lead extend to 27. Freo rush a behind under immense pressure, and, just like the second quarter, we kick the first two points of the quarter. Taberner kicks a behind. It sounds like we’re getting a good run with umpiring decisions at the moment, which Shiel can’t capitalize on. 28 point lead. Coyler kicks a behind in response. 27 point lead. Suddenly, it seems neither team remembers how to kick a goal. It’s a comedy of errors at Marvel Stadium, and, just like the comedy club scene in Joker, none of the jokes are getting a laugh from the viewers (in this case, the commentators). Even the crowd, if it was permitted to be there, would be silently watching this back-and-forth, and probably swearing a lot. Another behind. Finally, a goal is scored. This one by the ex-Bomber Colyer. Lobb can’t make it to in a row for Freo. 21 point lead to us. Ok, Bombers, this is getting a little too close for comfort. Snelling kicks his second to make the margin a little less close for comfort. That’s better. Fremantle have one last chance to narrow the margin meaningfully and they can’t, scoring yet another point. Bombers by 26, and, as the commentators say, thankfully that painful quarter finished. And, thankfully, it finished with us still comfortably in front.
The final quarter begins with more humour from the commentators as they try to make the game more exciting than it is. Americans on twitter, sports-starved, are turning to Australian Football as it’s apparently the only live sports on at the moment. I wish this was a more exciting game to follow. No score changes early. And then, after 9 minutes, a thing happens. Lobb kicks a goal. Margin is back to 20 points. 56-36. Aside from the fact that the scoreline is less like an AFL game and more like a really high-scoring NFL game or an impossibly high-scoring NRL game, that goal brings some tension back into this game. Dockers kick yet another behind. Fremantle kick another behind. The margin is brought back to 18 points… wait, what? 18 points? What the heck? Bombers, what are we doing?
Can we please get going this quarter? NFL expert Pat McAfee declared us a “FORCE” on twitter twenty minutes ago. And, as Michael Walters brings the margin back to 12 points, I think he’s starting to have second thoughts. We’ve kicked one goal this second half. COME ON, BOMBERS, PLEASE. Stringer doesn’t help as he kicks his third behind. A four goal haul would have looked awesome. 1 goal 3… not so. Bombers by 13. Hurley gives away a 50 metre penalty to Sturt, and the Dockers are suddenly back within 7. Those earlier behinds of ours look really bad now. WHAT IS GOING ON?!?
FINALLY… Stringer delivers his second. We lead by 13. The commentators finally give the time left as well, something the University course absolutely hammered into us. Fremantle responds, though, with another major. Every second feels like an hour. The empty crowd is getting nervous, I can tell. Brayshaw misses, margin is back to a goal. Just under two minutes to go. Fremantle’s pressing. Free kick to Fyfe. 55 seconds to go.
Anything can happen. Chaos kick inside 50. Ball-up. I can barely breathe. 28 seconds to go. Boundary throw-in, 20 seconds to go. Free kick Fremantle. We have flooded their forward 50 and we HANG ON. Oh my beating heart.
We kicked two goals after half-time as Fremantle kicked 5. A win is a win, but if we play like that this year, we won’t win a lot. I thought our defense was good, though, especially as our midfield was getting smashed in that second half. And once Heppell comes back in and Hooker joins him, we’ll be better.
The song rings out around the empty stadium.
Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.
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About Caspar McLeod
Third Culture Kid at Heart. Grew up in Asia, discovered footy at age 9. AFL has since been my burning passion. Ask me who were the winners all the grand finals between 1938 and last year's decider, and I'll be happy to tell you. I'm a footy nut with a passion for writing and acting. All though I love writing and acting, during the footy season, AFL is my true passion. Waiting ever so patiently for the day when Essendon Next win the flag.
It was a bit too close for comfort there at the end, the fingernails got a good workout! A good effort on reflection. Even though we nearly let Freo pinch the game, we managed to hold on whereas in the past we often crumbled when the pressure was applied and teams commenced a run on.