Roseau Test, West Indies v Australia – Day 1: Impatience

Roseau

Day 1: West Indies 148; Australia 3/85

 

– Ahh, here we are again.
– Imagining we’re at a Test match.
– Brilliant.
– And this time in the Caribbean, no less.
– I’ve always wanted to imagine myself there.
– Dominica. Yes. Brilliant.
– Roseau. The capital city I’ve only just learned.
– A good one for pub trivia.
– And it’s AC Voges on debut at age 35.
– In for the concussed CJL Rogers.
– Who’s going to present him with his baggy green?
– It would have to be a good tourist.
– Ahh, look it’s B Julian.
– Is this “Getaway”?
– And the Windies playing without S Chanderpaul for the first time since the 1990s.
– With S Dowrich on debut.
– D Ramdin has won the toss.
– Windies to bat. Hope they get a few.
– I hope someone gets a ton.
– Yeah; I want to see the crowd run onto the field, stuffing money into the batsman’s trousers.

 

– So he have MG Johnson to KC Braithwaite.
– Has MG Johnson lost a yard since the World Cup?
– Placid pitch.
– Opening with JR Hazlewood.
– That’s out.
– That’s a lazy waft.

 

KC Braithwaite c BJ Haddin b JR Hazlewood 10; 1/23, 5.6 overs
– New man D Bravo whacked on the helmet there by JR Hazlewood.
– Shite. He’s alright.
– MA Starc bowling licorice allsorts.
– Ahh, here’s yer NM Lyon to bowl the 14th over. Day 1.
– Give him another.
– Too right.
– Got him.
– Ahhh, what a slips catch.

 

DM Bravo c MJ Clarke b NM Lyon 19; 2/63, 15.1 overs

 

– Here’s SO Dowrich on debut.
– No pressure.
– Joins yer man SD Hope there.
– Not the best runners between wickets, these two.
– Yer MG Johnson has lifted his pace now.
– Ahhh, that’s another fine catch.
– SE Marsh diving like his old man in the gully.
– His old man ain’t that sprightly.
– You know what I mean.

 

SD Hope c SE Marsh b MG Johnson 36; 3/75, 18.5 overs

 

– That’s lunch.
– 3/85
– Australia’s morning.

 

==

 

– MA Starc and JR Hazlewood after lunch
– That’s out. Dragged it on.
– Footwork?
– Concrete boots.

 

SO Dowrich b JR Hazlewood 15; 4/85, 27.3 overs.

 

– Here’s J Blackwood
– There goes J Blackwood
– It’s simple line and length from Hazlewood. Nothing special.
– Another fine catch at third slip from yer Clarke.

 

J Blackwood c MJ Clarke b JR Hazlewood 2; 5/87, 29.6 overs

 

– This is becoming embarrassing.
– It is.
– MN Samuels joined by his captain.
– Whack. Fine shot.
– Ahh, now he’s chased the bouncer.

 

MN Samuels c JR Hazlewood b MA Starc 7; 6/91, 30.5 overs

 

– What they need is some S Chanderpaul–like batting.
– This JO Holder is a disciplined unit.
– Batting at #8.
– He values his wicket at least.
– Yeah, both of these two; Ramdin and Holder.
– This is better.
– Solid.
– 121/6 at drinks.
– Bang. Out. You’ve gotta watch those drinks breaks.

 

D Ramdin b MG Johnson 19; 7/121, 39.3 overs

 

– We’re down to JE Taylor now already.
– As long as Holder’s there they’re a chance.
– That’s over now then.
– Caught in the gully.

 

JO Holder c SE Marsh b MA Starc 21; 8/133, 44.5 overs

 

– So now it’s just a question of bowling figures.
– SR Watson’s had a trundle. Anyone else like a go?
– Ah here’s SPD Smith into the attack.
– Good first pill.
– Shite second pill though. Long hop.
– It’s a mis-hit though. Got him.

 

JE Taylor c AC Voges b SPD Smith 6; 9/144, 50.2 overs

 

– That’ll do SPD Smith. No more from you.
– Who’ll get the last wicket?

 

ST Gabriel c MJ Clarke b MG Johnson 2; 10/148, 53.5 overs

 

==
– That’s ordinary.
– That’s crap.
– It is.
==

 

– Here’s yer DA Warner to open with SE Marsh.
– Don’t start me on SE Marsh.
– That’s a cover-drive boundary to each of them after two overs.
– Head cases.
– Give JE Taylor and ST Gabriel a chance.
– There we are.
– Popped to point.

 

DA Warner c Blackwood b JE Taylor 8; 1/13, 2.2 overs

 

– And here’s your batting hero SPD Smith at #3 now.
– He’s been very successful elsewhere in the order.

 

– Look at SE Marsh creaming those drives.
– Over-pitched rubbish. He’ll be out before 28.
– Looks good though.
– Just watch. JO Holder back on.
– Hard hands to first slip. You’re right.

 

SE Marsh c D Bravo b JO Holder 19; 2/38, 16.1 overs

 

– Hmm. MJ Clarke and SPD Smith now.
– Should polish off the deficit.
– Six to MJ Clarke from D Bishoo. There’s a statement.
– Ahh. He’s nicked that cut.
– What a load of rubbish batting we are seeing today.

 

MJ Clarke c Ramdin b D Bishoo 18; 3/61, 23.2 overs

 

– AC Voges on debut gets D Bishoo to face.
– There’s a four-ball.
– Well taken.
– And there’s a chance.
– Needed a better effort at square leg.

– Ahh, it. That’s the day.
– AC Voges lucky. All set for he and SPD Smith to bat through Day 2.
– Unlikely.
– Yeah. 13 wickets lost today; all of them to batsman error.
– Could it be due to lack of long-form match practice?
– That’s what a victim might say, yes. Someone of personal responsibility would say it was due to lack of patience and application.
– Terrible.
– Terrible.

 

3/85
SPD Smith 17*, AC Voges 20*

 

About David Wilson

David Wilson is a writer, editor, flood forecaster and former school teacher. He writes under the name “E.regnans” at The Footy Almanac and has stories in several books. One of his stories was judged as a finalist in the Tasmanian Writers’ Prize 2021. He is married and has two daughters and the four of them all live together with their dog, Pip. He finds playing the guitar a little tricky, but seems to have found a kindred instrument with the ukulele. Favourite tree: Eucalyptus regnans.

Comments

  1. Andrew Starkie says

    Hope it’s not the end for Rogers. Should go to England.

  2. E.regnans says

    Definitely. The only one able to play a moving ball.

    JP Faulkner scored his 1st first class ton.
    For Lancashire v Surrey at The Oval this week.
    Another handy cricketer.

  3. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks OBP what frustrates me is where has the good old fashioned,TEST cricketer gone yep not enough four day practice games.Way too much 20 20 crap unfortunately as we all no that is where the money is.The most promising thing for aust was S Smith after a summer in which he has creamed everything he was battling to score but hung in there and is not out overnight.West Indies cricket seems to be gone and a return to the glory days is seemingly no possibility what so ever

  4. John Butler says

    Thanks for the blow by blow E Reg.

    Highlights of Windies dismissals revealed some terrible techniques. Given Board troubles, the absence of Gayle et al, you wonder about their current commitment to Test cricket.

    Aussies will want to shake the cobwebs out before England.

  5. Luke Reynolds says

    Nice work ER. Reckon Ramdin was beaten for pace by Johnson, but agree the other 12 were all batsman error.
    Despite a lean previous two series, S.Chanderpaul would have been a much harder wicket to take in the Windies middle order than any of the batsman who lined up for the home team.

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