Quiz Answers – Pre-AFL finals bye week

[In the spirit of imitation being the highest form of flattery…]

We had a surprising response to our ‘Pre-AFL finals bye week’ quiz and we thank everyone who entered. The winner was G. Long of Geelong. And many congratulations go to you G. Well played. For the record, the answers were as follows:


1/ False. Heaven is a concept. The Adelaide Oval is a cricket ground.


2/ The correct answer is (a) nobody. There was brief concern for a young Fortitude Valley man late on Sunday evening, but it soon emerged that he didn’t know of football, let alone that the Suns and Lions had finished 17th and 18th, respectively. He had merely contracted food poisoning.


3/ True. Very happy. Carlton football club is very happy with everything. With everything, thank you very much.


4/ False. The re-signing of a coach is usually cause for optimism.


5/ True. No one asked for clash jumpers primarily because no pair of jumpers really clash.


6/ False. Aesop was not a first round draft pick at GWS. And his parable of the goose that lays the golden eggs is in no way related to AFL exposure.


7/ According to (a) AFL media.


8/ False. The answer is Dustin Martin. The Aston Martin is a very expensive car.


9/ The correct answer is (d) Ever. Season 2017 has been the most watched, most even, most profitable, most talked about, most written about, and simply the best season in the history of ever.


10/ False. A knowledge of Miles Davis and jazz improvisation is not mandatory for members of the Match Review Panel.


11/ The answer is: Brian Taylor, kidney stones and migraine (in that order).


12/ True. The football club is GWS. BWS is a chain of liquor shops.


13/ The correct answer is (d) Luke. None of the Gospels of Matthew, Mark nor John included passages from “Loose Men Everywhere.”


14/ True. Finals actually begin on a Thursday. For reasons unfathomable to anyone outside of AFL House.


15/ False. AFL House is not a respite home for dementia patients. It is the headquarters of a tax-evading monopoly sport and marketing enterprise.


16/ True. It is a neutral venue. During the month of September the MCG is decreed to be no one’s home ground. The matter is now closed. Closed.


17/ The correct answer is (c) weasel word. For example, at the MCG the phrase “Home ground” roughly translates as the right to operate unspeakably garish and intrusive audio-visual equipment.


18/ The correct answer is (b) sacrosanct. The head is sacrosanct in all cases, except when it is not.



With many thanks to the memory of John Clarke. (Some of whose works can be enjoyed here: http://mrjohnclarke.com).

About David Wilson

David Wilson is a writer, editor, flood forecaster and former school teacher. He writes under the name “E.regnans” at The Footy Almanac and has stories in several books. One of his stories was judged as a finalist in the Tasmanian Writers’ Prize 2021. He is married and has two daughters and the four of them all live together with their dog, Pip. He finds playing the guitar a little tricky, but seems to have found a kindred instrument with the ukulele. Favourite tree: Eucalyptus regnans.


  1. I got most of them right Dave, just slipped up on the Aston Martin one.

  2. This quiz thing is the gift that keeps on giving, e.r.

  3. Good work, Wrap.
    It *might* be your year.

    Smokie: True. I do greatly miss the injection of J Clarke into my suburban existence.

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