Pointless Ranting

Sometimes footy has the habit of making me scream at the stupidness of it. Every single assumption we make can be thrown out the window now, because the competition just went to hell on a hand basket.

If I were to use the teams Geelong, Sydney, GWS and Richmond and put them in order knowing nothing about their seasons but the results of when each team played each other, I would take into account that:

  • The Tigers beat GWS by 100+
  • GWS beat the Swans by around 30
  • The Swans beat the Cats by 100+
  • And that Richmond lost to Geelong by 5 points.

The first three sound like the beginning to some bad maths problem where you sort 4 teams from best to worst and the teacher stuffs up the last part. If it was maths, I’d be celebrating because my theory of that maths only exists to make my head hurt would be proven.

The good thing about all this is that my… let’s say “less than great” footy tipping is now not a subject of public ridicule. It’s like I’m Melbourne Football Club in a way. A retired legend of the game has come and brought all other opponents down to my level for a slog out in the mud.

I use Melbourne because the last game I went to was to watch a Paul Roos coached team (never again will I see a team coached by him) side drag Richmond down to their level (okay, with a little… umm…. a lot….quite a bit of help) and demolish them. In my state of shock, I thought that the game should’ve been played at my local footy ground, which in winter doubles as the mud wrestling arena and is normally 9 degrees and hailing.

Paul Roos and Ross Lyon I both don’t like because the teams they coach are just so damn frustrating to watch that I usually resort to the endless disappointment of playing 2048 on my phone. I honestly think that 2048 models Richmond from 1983 – 2013, because that in the end, you will always be disappointed.

You know that saying “Good for football”? My version of that is when every single game is close and high skilled and hasn’t got Brian Taylor commentating on 7. The game ends in exhausted commentators and celebrations, but at the end of the day, Richmond come out and win by 100 points and Dad can stop accidentally on purpose forget his Tigers hat. Biased!!

Actually, I think that this year is the closest AFL has come to being fair and even without being totally out of control. You’re always going to have teams who are cellar dwellers but this time those teams aren’t getting smashed every week but putting up a good contest. Western Bulldogs, St Kilda, GWS and Melbourne have all had their moments in the sun, the only exclusion in that bottom part of the ladder are the Brisbane Lions.

The competition is just about to get more interesting, because the mullet is back! What we need now is another craze to come to life. We’ve had mullets and Ned Kelly style beards, but this year so far there has been no major fashion statements.

My hope is that the mighty Afro returns….

By the way, if anyone has seen Brent Moloney around, grab him and take him to the ‘Gabba now.


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