Perth Test – Day 1: Comeback Kings

Aust 6/326 Smith 103no Johnson 39no
Warner 60 Haddin 55
Broad 2/78 Swann 2/71 Stokes 1/52

The day started very well when my son Daniel went back to back as Dux of Modbury HS he then nailed the speech he had to make about year 9.  A very proud father departed and thanks to good friend, Fiona Seager for the photos.

I started to let my mind ponder to the possibilities in today’s 3rd test. Australia having convincingly won the 1st two tests after England had won 3 nil in their series but I feel in reality it has been closer than that. Key moments or errors such as cranberry sauce dropping Haddin in Adelaide have decided the test matches.

Perth is the venue and Clarke wins the toss again.  It is revealed the all nations side have not won a test match in which they have lost the toss and vice versa in 2014 so we bat early on. Rogers with a poor call and hesitation runs himself out for 11 combined with good fielding by Anderson.

In comes the Almanac’s favourite player in  Watto.  Warner and Watto take the score along to 52 before Watson yet again plays a shot a mentally deranged wombat would be proud of and is gone for 18. Watto is the Troy Chaplin of cricket consistently failing in big games and key moments.

Clarke playing his 100th test and Warner steadily progressed the score to 106 until Clarke surprisingly was beaten in flight by Swann and left just before lunch for 24.   Warner shortly afterwards when on 60 then had a case of poor selection and tried to cut a ball from Swann which was too close and full.

Bailey attempting to do an Andrew Hilditch and hook himself out of Test cricket departed for just 7 and Aust in serious trouble at  5/143  .Haddin and Smith began the job of restoring the innings with an interesting and obvious point that the pressure fell right away in general when Bresnan and Stokes were bowling. With some fine shots and good running between wickets got right on top with a partnership of 124 and Haddin yet another fine half century being dismissed for 55.
Smith kept going with some magnificent pull shots and crisp driving bought up his 2nd Century and with the dangerous and confidently Good Mitch batted thru to stumps.

It is a vital 1st session tomorrow which will go a long way to deciding the match and the series.

Footnote: Cook – why oh why no bat pad to start the game in Perth the bounciest deck in world cricket! Warner would have been out for a sporting globe.
Also why not attack and bowl short at  Haddin with Aust in trouble allowing us to regain the initiative.
Yes I am a crow eater and who is on top of the shield ladder? I firmly believe Ferguson is a far better player than Bailey and I would play Santa Claus before bloody Watto.
So the day ends with yet another resurrection from our middle order hopefully it continues tomorrow and helps return the urn.  C’mon Aussie C’mon.


  1. Nice work Malcolm, and congrats to young Daniel. How to put this elegantly?…It would appear that he has inherited his mother’s brains and his father’s sensitivity. A perfect combination. Good to hear that you maintained concentration long enough to hear out the speech before turning your mind to more important issues.

  2. A an accurate assessment of the days play. My concern is that the recent team success is masking the glaring issue of Australia’s underwhelming top order. Great middle/lower order rescue jobs have been needed in each of the three tests thus far. Watson is an obvious issue but shot selection and battling through outstanding spells of bowling still would be our biggest areas of improvement. If we cant get that right before february the safas will destroy us. I think even the mentally deranged wombat may have been a shade perplexed with Wattos compulsive driving! Happy writing Book!

  3. Great stuff, opening partner.
    Good call on the lack of short leg for Ball 1, Day 1.
    Hats off to Smith with a chanceless ton.

  4. Peter Flynn says

    Good stuff Rulebook.

    Puzzling tactics (including blatant stalling) from England for most of the day.

    Watson nearly half-way towards 100 Tests.

    A lot more frustration to come!

  5. Malcolm Ashwood says

    PJF if world cricket administrators actually had any guts and brains they would bring in run penalties re over rate that would speed the game up and get rid of so much crap I have got my head down re selling footy almanacs and doing a better job than bloody Watto

  6. Couldn’t agree more. When Carbo dropped Haddin last week I was sitting with a few of the guys watching it (yes, one of the few times I wasn’t at the bar) and we all agreed it was going to be a crucial error. I suspect Watto must be in possession of images depicting Invers having sex with a goat…. What other explanation is there for his continued selection?

  7. Watto actually went OK. Remember that a Watto ton is actually 30 runs, therefore he made 60 in his first dig.
    The mystery remains. What is a par score on this pitch?
    Nice work Malcolm.

  8. Thanks Malcolm, great summary- Even with the new ball at the end of the day, they slowed it down I`m happy to be wrong about Smith. As was discussed on radio; our batting has issues at 1, 3 and 6.

  9. Steve Fahey says

    Great opening day reports from both Malcolm and e.regs on a truly bizarre day of Test cricket. For significant periods of the day neither team looked willing to dig in and do the hard yards required – the Aussies for the first session and a half and the English for the last session and maybe the second half of the second session.

    Their slow over rate and multiple micro meetings smacked of either not being clear enough about their plans (which is ridiculous given we’ve served up the same team three matches in a row) or a deliberate tactic to slow the game down which seemed equally ridiculous given they looked a real chance of knocking us over for 200-250 at 5 down. It’s all right looking purposeful and on when things are running well for you, any individual or team can do that. They have looked a rabble when the Aussies have been on top throughout this series.

    I don’t think you can overestimate how important it has been for Clarke to have won three successive tosses and be able to bat first, especially given the frailty of our top order. While Watto excelled with his stupidity, even by his own lofty standards, Rogers and Bailey are struggling, the latter doesn’t look up to Test standard to me. Watto’s bowling will be very handy in Perth and again for the back-to-back Tests in Melbourne and Sydney, so he will keep his place, despite his continued mediocrity.

    Haddin has been magnificent since his reinstatement, which was an inspired selection decision. Smith superb yesterday. The Poms picked the wrong bowlers in their squad and their team looks unbalanced with Stokes at 6 and the out-of -form Prior at 7 (maybe he is back in form after the Adelaide second innings but one swallow…) . Again, the toss of the coin has been vital, with their fragile batting line-up chasing decent totals.

    Looking forward to day two and seeing if Johnson can continue the miracle.

  10. Luke Reynolds says

    Great stuff again Malcolm. For whatever reason Bailey seems to think he has to take the bowling on at all times. He won’t last long playing like that. Smith, just when I was starting to think he would struggle all summer was very impressive. Still plenty of runs in the Aussie tail, can’t wait to see the poms face Johnson on this pitch.

  11. Fiona Seager says

    Didn’t see any of the first day so thanks for the update.
    Congratulations to Daniel once again on receiving his award and a truely amazing speech. Can it do it three in row?
    Thanks for the mention.

  12. Good summary Malcolm. Carberry not even going for the catch off Haddin sums up where England are at- cooked. Some of the shots were poor but it seems Boof has instructed players to play positively and back themselves so maybe we take the good with the bad. Winning means you can stick with the same side longer than when you are losing. England why bring 3 7 foot bowlers and not play them. Very puzzling.

  13. Some of your sharpest.

  14. In all 3 tests now England have had the convicts on the ropes and let you comeback. The ability to kill you off is the reason we are 2-0 down. That and the ability to watch the ball go past the bat and waft a bat at it.

    Now onto my gudge with your article. The “all nations” side. I don’t believe stokes should be playing as he isn’t English. However, every other player in that side is English. This comment coming from the convicts is truly laughable. You tried to rush the immigration status of ahmed through, khawaja, symonds, wessels and that’s off my head in cricket. My son was born in australia but nothing would give me greater pride than to see him wear the Lions as there’s no doubting he’s English wherever he was born.

  15. Kieran Harvey says

    Good work book. Ferguson will never play test cricket, which is a real shame. I agree he is better than Bailey but so are a few others. Bailey might get one more test but if he continues to fail then Hughes will take his spot. I hope SA don’t find a new way to blow it this year.

  16. Rick Bizz Sarre says

    Well said Book. Now, back to Daniel…he sounds to me like he has the brains to start a business career and the genes to start in the middle for the Blacks in a few years. So, to his career choices. Here is my unsolicited advice: he does a commerce degree with Adelaide University, picks up the management of SubStandard, and then sets up a publishing house for his father to continue with his particular penchant for perspicacious penmanship (you can see that I have the talent to join you!)

  17. Mickey Randall says

    Good job Malcolm. I didn’t see much so thanks for the update. Cook’s captaincy seems to be lacking. The true test of a captain is when things are going poorly and he seems to lack imagination and appropriately directed aggression.

  18. Youngy,
    The goat was a case of mistaken identity on a dark night.
    Shandy the Wonder Dog and I are working on getting beyond this inadvertent infidelity.
    Please desist from further speculation or you will be hearing from my lawyers.

  19. I think cook is being found out a little to defensive to quick and not even in the right spot when he man goes to the fence. In Perth we know you can’t get carried away with bounce a ball on a good length hitting high on the bat with 3 slips and 2 gullies or 4 slips and a gully and if you want to throw a man back get it in the right spot at backward point or 3rd man! There’s no need for us to suffer thru you changing the field every ball get a plan listen to people that have played there for years all these experts might just know what they are talking about now and then

  20. I would like to make point of Graeme Swann of when he is 2/5 and really bubbly, cocky and up and about…
    But when Australia seem to get on top you slowly see the England team drop their heads like a B grade team getting destroyed!
    It is crucial to keep the pressure on just by staying positive in the field. When us Pembroke boys are in trouble I like to have a few jokes and keel everyone up and about and once the wickets start flowing it gets back up.

  21. Great news re Daniel’s success. As Daddsy was alluding, it sounds like he struck it lucky in the Ashwood family’s genetic ‘raffle’. Not the first or last winning ticket sold by our Malcolm.

    Yesterday’s play just reminded me how much I love the Test Match at the WACA. The pitch is unique in world cricket and the match always has an intriguing contrast between those players and sides that get it right and those that get it wrong (invariably the tourists). Often the trap lies not in the vagaries of the wicket itself but in players overcompensating for its bounce, and the hint of threat and panic that it carries with it. The pitfall when bowling is pitching too short, too often. Once a batsmen is really ‘in’, the short stuff comes on nicely with true bounce and can be dispatched. It’s the good length balls that are so dangerous in Perth. Batsman, on the other hand, can come unstuck by playing cross-bat strokes before they are really ‘in’, and have adjusted for the wicket. We saw plenty of both mistakes yesterday and I expect more of the latter today.

  22. Think I jumbled my batsman and batsmen there!

  23. Nice work Daniel. Good synopsis rulebook, as always. Australia cannot afford to have a number three who consistently throws his wicket away.

  24. Very entertaining Book – you’ve nailed Watto perfectly! If only Channel 9 could get you a gig, the summer would be perfect. Well done to Daniel – who would have thought an Ashwood would have the gift of the gab?!

  25. Nice work Mal, I’m fully supportive of the Wombat Watto must go!

  26. Jake Boerema says

    Ducks of the school very impressed. Now you have someone to proof read your work. Nice summary of the days proceedings.

  27. Well done Daniel inspite of the obvious genetic handicap. As far as Ashes status is concerned I think that the difference between the teams is less than what was assumed at the beginning of the series. Had the weather, and some dodgy DRS decisions, gone better for the Aussies in England, Australia could easily have won 4 of the last 5 tests. Having said that, the Aussies have been playing pretty much at their full potential this series and the Poms are well below their par. I think we need to wrap it up in Perth as there’s no guarantee of continued success in Melbourne and Sydney. Watto in the side as a bowling all rounder I assume.

  28. Good summary Rulebook and as a Richmond supporter totally agree with you re
    Watson and Chaplin both very poor in key moments and big games and love the
    wombat line

  29. Malcolm Ashwood says

    I did realize in the , 1st paragraph that I had left myself wide open to some sledging and thanks , Daddsy , Tom M and , Gazz in particular for delivering .
    Great post , Bizz and , Stormtrooper of love
    Thanks every , 1 for posting so at the end of day , 2 honors slightly our way with a big ,
    1st session tomorrow and a tie between Watto and kp for stupidity and ego

  30. Lack of imagination from Cook makes for horrible viewing. England never in the hunt.

    World eleven Malcom… Where’s your next leggie from??? Trying to rush immigration??? Time you blokes got over it. Do we need to start listing Aussie world eleven players through history???

  31. Malcolm Ashwood says

    In relation to the stirring of the All Nations Side there should be a international rule of residency to qualify tp play for a country which re my memory used to be seven years that should be a , ICC ruling bu that is actual governing of the games interests . It seems now to be up to indiv countries so , Aust did attempt to bend the rules to qualify
    Ahmed which is wrong . Remember the drama over how many imports to be allowed to play county cricket as it was considered it was affecting , English players chances of moving thru to play for , England .
    So as usual it comes back to the , ICC to actually administer the game not just thinking of the next few millions it makes from , Asian interests and domination

  32. Great read Malcolm , do we have a mini Malcolm here , great work Daniel :)

  33. Great work Daniel Son!
    The apple don’t fall from the tree!

    Game is in the balance at the moment…
    English started to “fight” somewhat early day 2.
    But the game we love & enjoy (the biggest leveller there is) TEST MATCH CRICKET is ebbing & flowing. Australia needs to rip through the too & froms 1st session today, then be 400+ runs in front on a cracking deck (sorry, no pun intended).
    Today’s play will give us a glimpse into a result (i think there is going to be one).
    DRS under scrutiny again…. PFFFFT. shallow memories some, wasn’t long ago that the Aussies were stiffed over in the motherland!

    Looking forward to today’s first session.

    But not as much as Rulebooks next article!

    Peace out.

    C’mon you Aussies!!!!!!

  34. Good article Rulebook – so I’m assuming you won’t be sending Watto a Christmas card this year?

  35. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Hi BG ni I think I will leave Watto and Chaplin off the Xmas card list just v glad that Chaplin is not. a , Redleg mind you he would not have got a game under , Bass and that is a fact . I like your email address 1975 a great year

  36. Dan Sergeant says

    Well written book, wondering if your writings are part of some bizarre Ponzi scheme, where the more comments you get the more cash you earn. That or the grass isn’t growing quick enough in Adelaide.
    Australia continues to persist with blokes that make a start and then get out playing stupid shots. Watto should be banished to district levels and his file permanently marked never to be picked again. As for Rogers he is skating on the thinnest of ice. With Phil Hughes continuing to make runs surely a change is in the offing. Then again selectors are reluctant to change winning sides

  37. Phil Hughes is a flat track bully who would be first picked if he could carry the Adelaide Oval around in his back pocket.
    His footwork is a man about take the concrete shoes jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
    Graham Swann reckons he should be the first Australian batsman picked.
    He’s had more chances than Mitch Johnson (there goes my argument!)

  38. Captain Cook lacks courage. Simple and plainly obvious.

  39. Yep was another great fightback from a tough position, well summarised.

  40. Seems to be some bizzsarre career advice for Daniel. I suspect with academic credentials like he’s exhibiting that he has a great future as a legal academic. He might need a good mentor to establish himself before he takes over editing Substandard. Day 1 of the Perth test, a wasted day for Australia, early madness with a run out, Watson, Bailey and Warner poor shot selection. England are a shell of their former selves and not able to take a 50/50 moment and unable to prosper on Australia’s wastefulness. Having said that both teams are well short of great test line ups but Australia is clearly in the ascendancy because of Haddin’s and Johnson’s performances with the bat. Neither picked for their batting but it may just have put the Aussies in the box seat to regain the Ashes. Johnson’s bowling is the other difference between the teams. That spell on Saturday in Adelaide was one of the great Ashes performances.

    The Aussie have had a rough trot in recent Ashes series but, despite the scorelines, haven’t been hugely outplayed. 2-1 in 2005 with McGrath stepping on the ball, Ponting winning the toss and Kaspa just out in a 2 run loss in Birmingham, Pietersen dropped at the Oval when Aussies had a rough chance of against the odds win. 2009 Monty survived in Cardiff. 2010-11 in Adelaide Aussies 3/2 after 10 minutes, then Clarke out to Pietersen in Adelaide late on day four, had he survived may have got the draw before rain on day 5. 2013 unlucky with DRS and weather, I reckon everybody acknowledges that England were a better side but probably not by a 3-0 margin.
    2013-14 in Australia the toss has gone the same way three times, Lehmann appears to have moulded a group that want to play together as a team. Perth is clearly a difficult surface and plays games with batsmen’s minds, hence poor shot selection at times. To this point things have not gone the way of England, Clarke has outcaptained Cook, but if England hang on for a draw in Perth (or win if Clarke makes an errant declaration) and wins in Melbourne and Sydney they would retain the Ashes.

  41. RB,

    As a passionate Power supporter, I couldn’t agree more with your Watto camparison to the daffy footed T Chaplin. Chaplin, like Watto, looks and talks the goods, but when the heat was on, he was Mr Clanger delivering juicy back line turnovers for the opposition to score at will.

    Can we trade him to England?

  42. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Duncs what a surprise , Watto making runs now exactly the same as , Chaplin playing well against , Melb just out of interest I am , 15 agree with me , Inc 4 Rich supporters and 3 who don’t all of them , Rich supporters Inc Bushy who as we no is the most biased supporter in the world and fit on the back of a postage stamp his knowledge of footy

  43. Despite your superior knowledge in these things Malcolm, I remained firmly of the view that we needed Watto in our side. George Bailey was, however, a different story in my mind. Not after day 4. That was sublime. And very cool.

  44. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Daddsy all of us as cricket followers no that ideally , Watto is in our side as we need his all round abilities but have had a guts full of him under achieving especially in crunch situations to say that there are question marks ouer his mental toughness is the same to ask whether , Chocka was culturally sensitive hosting , HYB

  45. Hundreds win test matches. Australia: 6 plus haddins 94 in brissie. England: 0

  46. well there you go MA – the wombat comes out today all guns blazing, gets a ton & then out in typically ridiculous circumstances. test cricket is alive and well with these two teams and the assembled flannelled fools who continue to amuse, bemuse and befuddle us with their various brain snaps. Bailey is now referenced in the same breath as Lara & England are 1/2 way to 500 with half their wickets still left – who would have thunk that??
    keep it coming …

  47. Have seldom been entertained more (in cricket) than by the sublimely ridiculous performance of Wombat yesterday. He may get his confidence back through that effort but his brain still needs to perform, especially when the pressure is on.

  48. Screecher075 says

    Congrats to Daniel.

    And another great read.

    If by some minor miracle the Poms can get out of this test without a loss, it will be due to the bad bowling by Aust in the last session on Day 4. Too much short pitched stuff and not focussing enough on hitting a line and length that the Poms cant score off to create frustration. Sure the odd bouncer will work, but patience, and slowing the scoring rate will frustrate the best of batsmen more.

  49. With Steve Smith earning the MOM for his first innings ton, Tom Waterhouse will give you $1.01 that Smith will end up with more hundreds in his career than Watson.. and that tells you something.

  50. Michael Aish says

    Well done Daniel. Chip off the old block hey Malcolm.
    Dont know a great deal about cricket but it just go to show if you have good leaders who have good knowledge of the game and can be strong in the old fashion way then you normally get good results. Anyway Malcolm i will leave you with some words of wisdom which you can pass onto to Daniel. In life you are guaranteed of two types of pain the pain of discipline and the pain of consequences and you get to choose.

  51. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Watto good point , Damian Gerry Screecher Totally agree . Raf there is more than a touch of irony about your post but certainly valid.
    Michael Your last point is v profound thanks great man go the legs and now a soft spot for , Brisbane

  52. Rob Wilson says

    HI Malcolm.
    I’m back in the land of the living now.
    We caught up with the daily highlights on most days during the test series, but clearly summaries like yours above would have reflected the true state of play.
    Well done

  53. I’d play my dead Granny before Watson!

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